Dexter

Got mah eyes on you...

The face of a pretty cool guy

No, not that Dexter

Dexter is a story about a serial-killer in Miami named Dexter Morgan. By day he's a blood-spatter analyst who works for the cops of Miami. However, much like every other superhero he goes out to stalk/kill criminals. He does this by monologue and thrusting deep into their body with his long hard blade.

His mother got pwnt with a chainsaw in front of him and his brother Brian, causing them to be traumatized for life. However, stereotype cop Harry had trolls remorse because it was his fault Dexter's mom died so he adopted him and realised he was a sick fuck. After Harry dies, Dexter gets sad for aproximately 10 seconds, but gets over it quick because his sister is alive and he has a girlfriend that makes him food and has little children to distract him with. Long story short, he kills criminals because he can.

Season 1

It all starts with Dexter killing people and trying to find this other serial killer is also a pretty cool guy, talks with fellow cops (who are mostly spics because it's Miami.) gets accused of beign a sick fuck by a nigger cop, monologues and kills random ass criminals for 20 episodes while trying to fight his homosexuality enough to fuck his girlfriend and play with her kids. It turns out his brother is actually the other serial killer and offers Dexter to join him and be killers but Dexter says no and pwns him, which makes no fucking sense.

Season 2

A challenger appears.

Dexter's hot girlfriend. Don't like?

Secret's out and lots of dead bodies are found. A FBI agent is called in and wants to hit Dexter's sister, Dexter wants the same. This makes our hero very jealous. His girlfriend thinks he's chasing the dragon so she sends him to rehab. In rehab he meets a woman who has da hots for him, but instead of getting it on with her he dumps her, making her stalk him. A black cop finds out Dexter is the bad guy, and tries to stop him, because Dexter realises he is a sick fuck, he agrees, but the cop is later killed by the crazy stalker ex, who is then killed by Dexter. The black cop gets blamed for the crime, but that's ok since he was a lazy nigger anyway.

Season 3

Lots of filler, the highlight of the season is when Dexter gets a spic sidekick and tries to teach him things, but then the spic starts acting retarded and so Dexter decides to kill his ass, but the spic tries to kill him back, but then he fails and is killed like he should have been the moment he illegally entered the country.

Season 4

Even more filler, also Dexter's baby is demented, and the guy he kills at the end killed his wife, lulz.

Season 5

It all gets interesting when a group of men raep loads of womens, and some sick fucks at the FBI watch videos of them being tortured and raped. Dexter also begins to fuck one of the victims, while getting pissed off at some bible bashing babysitter. This series conludes with his sister almost finding him and not liking him anymore, but then she decides she doesnt care who the killer actually is. Oh yeah, and the victim bitch leaves Dexter at the end, rendering the whole season completely fucking pointless.

Lumen returns to her planet.

Season 6

Some christfag decides to recreate doom's day and kills many pplz with his professor WHO'S BEEN DEAD BEFORE THE WHOLE SHIT'S EVEN BEGUN but gets pwnt. Meanwhile Dexter meets some nigger who dies after some episodes, his sister goes emo. At the very end his sister finally decides to care and she finds out who he really is. A gimmick for the fans to shit their pants waiting the next excellent season.

Season 7

Incest, new PD nigger dies, more incest to cover up Christfag's death. Debra BAWing about him being a killer, because fanboys were waiting at least 6 more seasons to find this out. She makes a pile of shit on the ground, Louis gets raped after trolling Dexter and left him on the bench. But Comes back with a Trolls_trolling_the_trolls on, to fuck with him more. Debra wants Dexter to go to rehab, but he'll properly say No no no_u and start picking off retards that'll serve no purpose to a britfag crime boss. Whose the badass that'll end up like like the rest of Dexter's murderers like his ugly sister claims. Then some prisoner decides to do_it_for_the_lulz and an_hero enough, so we can see Dexter fuck Sarah from Chuck or famously that ugly chick from Mass_Effect_2 next week.

Shitty Fresh Prince Rewrite

Humble beginnings

---

Now this is the story all about how
My life got flipped, turned upside down
An' I'd like to take a minute just sit right there<
I'll tell you how I became The Bay Harbor Butcher

Sanford, Florida born and raised
Killing animals's how I spent most my days
Chilling out maxing relaxing killing a duck
Till my dad Harry noticed that i was a sick fuck
And started teaching me this code of rules
I killed one little crook and my dad got scared
And said "oh lawds ima have a big heart attack"

I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said blood and had a knife in the mirror
If anything, I thought that this cab was kool
So fuck it, I said, take me to a medical school

After learning how to cut I realised that
I should be a cop instead of a white hat
Looked at my life and realised I was there
To kill every fucker until noone was left

See also

• Brokeback Mountain
• Law & Order

Dexter is part of a series on Television Visit the Television Portal for complete coverage.