Nutella

Nutella is a repulsive, Italian-manufactured manifestation of hazelnut and cocoa mixed into a shit-resembling (and tasting) paste, that in 2018 became the most sought after commodity. Localized variants of said vomit-mix exist in the fellow despot Mediterranean states of Spain and Greece, under the brand names "Nocilla" and "Merenda" respectively.

The French Nutella Revolution

In the end of January 2018 a French store decided to offer a sale on Nutella, which resulted in utter chaos, that made the French look like they were celebrating Black Friday, the cocoa mix matching the color.

Gotta have that diabetes in a glass

	“	They are like animals. One woman had her hair pulled. An elderly lady took a box on her head. Another had a bloody hand	„
	—A French person not surrendering his Nutella

	“	People were piling in, they knocked everything over and broke stuff. It was an orgy … we were on the point of calling the police	„
	—Cashier

The Danish Nutella Theft Spree

In month of Black History Danish stores had to move their Nutella behind the counter because of huge amount of thefts. This makes Nutella occupy the same space as booze, valuable electronics and cigarettes.

	“	When such huge amounts disappears as such, it must be organized crime.. I experience colleagues that catch 10-20 people a week	„
	—Lars Bach

What's In It

In just 37 grams, or what is in Amerifat called a table spoon, you get 11 grams of fat and 21 grams of sugar. Enjoy your diabetes.

Nobody Wants Vegemitite

It's good for you. Maybe that's why Amerifats hate it.

Companies like Kraft like to claim Vegemite, or what the rest of the world refers to as Shit on toast, is made from leftover brewers' yeast extract with various vegetable and spice additives.

Anyone who has ever looked at it on toast knows that it is made from the scrapings of dirty diapers, the smeg from under the forskins of the dirtiest of dicks and has a taste that is surprisingly what you'd expect after hearing this description.

Loved by Ausfailians who have refered to a frog crushed under a car tire as a delicacy, it is better left in that "Land down undah".

	“	Vegemite is an excellent source of B vitamins. ... "The spread is low in energy, with one teaspoon providing less than 50 kilojoules and containing 1.5 grams of protein, no fat and no added sugar. This is the reason fat Americans hate it	„
	—Gudorf

Gallery

• File:Nutella Pizza.jpg
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See Also

• Chocolate
• Diabetes - Caused by Nutella.
• Foodfight!
• Epic Meal Time - Makes Nutella food epic with over 100K calories and over 4K grams of fat.
• Italy - the paste's place of origin.

External Links

• Fox News on the riots

	Nutella is part of a series on Food and Drink [BleurghOm Nom Nom]
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