- Portals
- The Current Year
- ED in the News
- Admins
- Help ED Rebuild
- Archive
- ED Bookmarklet
- Donate Bitcoin
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.
Clarence
Clarence is (for now lol) a show on Cartoon Network that follows some fat fuck and his retarded-looking friends doing stupid shit and fucking things up by doing a variety of activities such as sneaking around the zoo at night, reenacting Star Wars in a McDonalds Play Place, or having a slumber party.
Of course, no show is without its flaws, as the character designs were specifically made to troll the animators on a celestial level. Surprisingly, some people out there don't like this show, and one particular co-worker working on a more popular show wants a certain someone to learn to keep their hands to themselves.
What's funny is that no one had even heard of this show until the above controversy occurred, and no one cared to check it out after the fact, either. The name "Clarence" is forever linked to a creator who made an advance on some chick for the lulz.
Characters
- Clarence - The typical modern American child. He tends to fuck everything up, is obese, extremely retarded, and can't be trusted with the slightest task. Also has the weirdest fucking voice for a child, which was provided by the mentally unstable creator of the show.
- Jeff - Clarence's friend, a "sophisticated" pseudo-intellectual suburbanite dickbag of a child who whines about everything and can't accept the reality that isn't better than everyone. He resembles the obligatory default nigger character from Minecraft. Also, his parents are clearly lesbian, although the show can't outright admit it because it's supposed to be a kids show.
- Sumo - Probably the show's most lulzy character (sadly), as he's a piece of inbred midget backwash and an avid crystal meth user, hence his aged appearance and inability to express any sort of logic or rationality. He and his family are white trash to the max, a clear beckon to the majority of the show's audience.
- Belson - The rich kid who's the only child smart enough to notice Clarence's MR. He has a fetish for dolphins and cosplays Steven Universe 24/7.
- Mary - Clarence's mother, who's only on the show because that fat fuck of a child came out of her gaping vagina. She's dating an embodiment of the typically lazy, slovenly Americunt man.
- Amy - A tomboy that appeared in one episode. Her main fan base appears to be impressionable children, frumpy housewives, and lesbians. Clarence has a hard-on for her but neither one is sure who does the sticking and what hole to stick it in.
- Joshua - Has multiple jobs and fails at all of them.
- Ashley - Clarence's second for 10 minutes.
- Gilben - Usually silent. Sightings are usually in Clarence's presence, if you're lucky he might even warp from place to place.
Key episodes (Just look at these titles, so creative.)
- Pilot - Clarence is the new kid at school and invites kids to his party and gives his teacher some softcore porn (no really). Clarence, being the autistic fat fuck that he is, no one goes to his party besides Jeff and Sumo, they break shit and watch Jeopardy, then open the Mystery Pinata which is full of bees, they get stung and cops show up because they prank called them and shit hits the fan even more. They then make up and eat ice cream and the episode ends. This shit was good enough for the fuckwits at CN to order a whole season of this shit.
- Fun Dungeon Faceoff - Mary, Clarence and his friends go to a KFC with a black cashier - Jeff orders just fries. Clarence makes the fatal mistake of taking Jeff's fries while he's at the toilet. Jeff goes insane and chases Clarence throughout a filler scene but make up.
- A Pretty Great Day With A Girl - Clarence, reenacting Pompeii in his frontyard, is interrupted by Amy. She makes Clarence her bitch and they go on a bike ride. They ride into the forest and Belson sees, getting the rest of his faggotry gang to go after them, because they think they're going to Make Out. They find a rock the size of the Twin Towers after WTC and climb it. They are a discussion about SRS BUSINESS and are interrupted Belson and friends and they start throwing pinecones at each other for the rest of the episode, they also threw Sumo in for no fucking reason too.
- Clarence Gets a Girlfriend - Pretty self-explanatory. He gets a girlfriend but fucks it up. The End.
- Jeff's New Toy - Jeff gets a new toy, he invites Clarence and Sumo over to troll them by not letting them play it. Clarence then breaks it.
- Dinner Party - Clarence's family is invited to a party, when they get there they eat, and go fucking wreck the basement (Clarence sticks his hand in fiberglass, you can tell how this turns out). They later go into the attic, find a playboy magazine, and fall through the floor. Episode ends
- Zoo - Clarence and his Schoolmates go to the zoo. Clarence and Belson are paired up but Belson only wants to see the dolphins. There's a Belson torture porn moment in the middle but then when the trip ends the teacher's incompetence leaves them stuck at the zoo. But she won't get fired because no-one in this show faces the consequences of their actions ever.
- Average Jeff - Jeff drops to the retard class and now he thinks he'll be stuck working at Wal-Mart for the rest of his life.
- Neighbourhood Grill - Has literally nothing to do with Neighbourhood Grills. Nothing about the plot is important besides the unambiguous Gay couple shown to attract Tumblr-dwellers and enrage conservatives.
Skyler Page Fiasco
On June 29th, 2014, Skyler Page, the creator of this clusterfuck of a cartoon, was accused of touching a lady who works on Adventure Time (serves her right for working on a shittier show) in a number of ways that she wasn't okay with. Emily Partridge, the sandwich artist in question, decided to vent her frustrations regarding the situation on her personal Twitter account, first by sending out a series of strange, cryptic tweets, and then all out name-dropping Skyler and accusing him of being a boob-groping bastard.
As soon as the feminist cunts on Tumblr and Twitter got wind of the event, they went full retard to defend the protection of creativity for wimminz everywhere, thus resulting in Skyler being fired from Cartoon Network. The show is expected to continue for now, just without its creator's input. Remember kids, make a shitty cartoon and try to date co-workers and you too will be accused of molestation!
<a href="https://twitter.com/empartridge/status/471095266620092419"></a>
<a href="https://twitter.com/empartridge/status/484551508541706240"></a>
A Page of Skylers
-
Skyler Page
-
Not to be confused with Skyler Paige
-
Who is not to be confused with Skyla Paige
See Also
External Links
- empartridge - protected by feminists and white knights
Clarence is part of a series on Visit the Television Portal for complete coverage. |
Clarence is part of a series on Visit the Social Media Portal for complete coverage. |
Featured article August 2 & 3, 2014 | ||
Preceded by Luigi's Death Stare |
Clarence | Succeeded by Vaporwave |