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The Asylum
The Asylum is a company that makes horrible, low budget, direct-to-video movies that are poorly concealed ripoffs of their superior counterparts. Not plagiarized movies, ripoffs, deliberately released around the time of whatever film in question is being released. Movies made by the Asylum include Mega (insert creature here) vs. (insert other creature here), usually to be shown as a SciFi Channel Original, Snakes on a Train (need we tell you?), Transmorphers (a Terminator ripoff disguised as a Transformers ripoff), among others. For some reason, they seem to have a partnership with Christfag documentary group Faith Films.
History
The Asylum was presumably started by a group of teenagers trying to make horror films on a cheap camcorder in the woods behind their trailer park. This didn't blow over so well for them, as audiences are typically more interested in seeing films made by established, experienced producers rather than some kids with maybe $100 of special effects budget. Thus, they got steam rolled by established studios and made no money, likely due to the fact that no one cared in the first place.
The group of determined filmmakers had what could be considered by some to be a breakthrough and by others to be making a pittance when they decided to release an adaptation of classic literary masterpiece War of the Worlds, coinciding with the release of Steven Spielberg's adaptation of the same book featuring Tom Cruise. It was actually less a ripoff of the other film and more of a ripoff of Independence Day, showing that they only called it War of the Worlds to capitalize off of the Spielberg film. The director, David Michael Latt, described it as "The Pianist, with aliens instead of Nazis. Sure, Dave, sure.
Amazingly, people actually bought this crap, thereby encouraging Dave and his friends to continue making films and also showing that there is indeed no hope for mankind.
Production
According to TOW, it usually only takes four months for them to craft a cinematic masterpiece. This includes an hour or so to write the script, pre-production takes a few weeks (one would think it wouldn't take that long to search for hobos and crack whores to be actors, but go figure), and filming is likely complete in a few days. Reshooting a scene is out of the question, as batteries for the cameras are too expensive for that sort of shit.
TL,DR:
1. Find out what blockbuster movies are coming out.
2. Spend an hour writing a script.
3. Find some poor people to be actors. Pay them with sex, crack, etc.
4. Film it. Do it fast, faggot!
5. Apply shit special effects.
6. ????
7. PROFIT!
Films
Since 2005, The Asylum has provided the public with a steady stream of mediocre-to-shit versions of good movies. Fact Cat expects them to continue to as long as Hollywood will permit it.
H.G. Well's War of the Worlds
On the surface, appeared to be a ripoff of Steven Spielberg's War of the Worlds, but was actually a ripoff of Independence Day. Removed all British people for no apparent reason (of course, Spielberg's version and the 1953 film did that as well), and made it set in Washington D.C.. Included nudity and gore to appeal to 13-year-old boys.
Aliens attack Earth America, because they are jealous of their freedoms. A man named George tries to get to Washington D.C., where his family happens to be for no adequately explained reason. The peoples, unsurprisingly, are convinced that the invasion is a terrorist attack. George teams up with a Christfag (an Australian one, no less) who later gets killed by the aliens acid weapons. George uses rabies to kill the aliens. He arrives at a ruined city, where all the aliens die, for reasons not adequately explained.
King Queen of the Lost World
Described by the Asylum as being based on the book of the same name that apparently inspired King Kong, Jurassic Park, and Lost, when in fact it is mostly a ripoff of King Kong, not to mention that Lost was obviously inspired by J.J. Abrams' experiments with LSD. See a pattern forming?
Transmorphers
Sounds like a ripoff of Transformers from its title. In fact, it was really a ripoff of Terminator, The Matrix, and even some Animu. PROTIP: When you're ripping off from Animu, you're doing something wrong.
Sunday School Musical
Oh shit nigger what are you doing.
Sherlock Holmes
Shit about Dinosaurs in London that definitely never happened in any of the books. Not that I read any of them.
Death Racers
A bizarre ripoff of Escape from New York about an unknown city being turned into a prison facility. Freedom is given to whoever wins some street race. For reasons unknown, one of the gangs happens to (seriously) be the Insane Clown Posse, who have been dubbed as the Charles Manson of their times, which, hilariously, makes them sound less retarded that they are.
Spider's Web: A Pig's Tale
A retarded piece of shit that they released under a disguise name.
Audience
It is unknown who actually buys this shit. Internet scholars dispute the existence of people who would actually buy any of it. TOW asserts that such "mockbusters" are popular among people who happen to like whatever film is being ripped off. Likely, due to the massive amounts of gore and tits needlessly added into their films, they are popular among the juvenile crowd.
See Also
External Links
- Their website
- Article on TOW
- Faith Films, which also rips off films, but adds in a Christian context. Basically the Jack Chick of films.
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The Asylum is part of a series on Visit the Television Portal for complete coverage. |
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The Asylum is part of a series on Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage. |