David Kalac

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David Kalac (a.k.a Danger Dave)

	“	I killed Amanda Coplin. I strangled her with my hands, then a shoelace. I had no reason other than I was drunk and she pissed me off. Running from the cops was so fun.	„
	—David Kalac

David Kalac is an OJ Simpson wannabe and a Serj Tankian lookalike who, after a night of getting wasted, killed her girlfriend and posted the pictures on /b/. At first, no one paid no mind because, it's /b/. But then the partyv& heard of the happenings and decided to find the OP. This was preceded by a chain of events that has given numerous lulz to anyone that has been following.

Fail #1

Kalac, after failng to kill himself, realized that if he stayed, he'll most likely get taken to the slammer, so he decides to take his girlfriends car, and get the fuck out of there. Soon, the feds tracked his IP and when to his house, where they found the body. After they realized that he left, they decided to chase him all through the state. After chasing the guy up and down Oregon, the cops seriously lost him.

Fail #2: Electric Boogaloo

	“	He was so nonchalant. He just sat down and ordered a can of Pabst.	„
	—Ryan Stowe, The Bartender

After losing his four stars, he decides that it would be a great idea to go into a bar. Here, he ordered a beer, shakes the owner's hand, talks to some patrons, and (after four hours) leaves. No one recognised him or knew who he was. Then, he goes into the forest to see what wildlife is like. He stays here for most of the morning.

Fail #3

Realizing that he's fucked, he mans up and turns himself in.