David Duke

How are you trying to lay claim to being part of the master race with a boyish white wispy peach fuzz?

What happens when you can't decide between becoming a stoner and becoming a racist so you just become both.

Dr. David Ernest Duke^卐 is a 74-year-old failed English teacher whom had enough money from Daddy to pursue a life of cosplay and blaming Jews for his wife Chloe running off with his best friend named Don Black. To try to regain dignity lost from never holding a real job, David would pursue the art of running a begging campaign. David's inability to be a real man with a real beard, led him to envy the jew for their long and beautiful beards. This potent emotion drove David to Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan and eventually making it as a wannabe politician as the Louisiana House Representative of the 81st district . Apparently, in spite of all his talk about Jews being lying, deceitful, and greedy merchants, David filed a false Tax Return in 2002 which revealed he had been gambling and living it up off of money donated by supporters for six years, during which time he had claimed he was about to be bankrupted by ZOG. When he isn't scamming idiots into sending money to a guy sitting on his engineer daddies trust fund, he is espousing completely off-the-rails with retarded conspiracy theories about ZOG causing his erectile dysfunction or believing that the giant rats that infest his basement are actually Jew larva that are preparing to pupate and emerge as winged Jewlings.

David's completely rational fear of all things Semitic most likely stems from his failure with women in comparison to Orthodox Jews who have arranged marriage. This is evidenced by his 1976 publication of a self-help book for womenunder the double pseudonym "Dorothy Vanderbilt" and "James Konrad"), Finders-Keepers: Finding and Keeping the Man You Want, which contained sexual, Diet, fashion and relationship advice, amounting to pleading women to lower their standards and lay ugly men with permanent peach fuzz. A Tulane University Professor Lawrence Powell actually published a copy to a Louisiana Times knockoff, which revealed David Duke wrote endlessly about vaginal exercises, fellatio, and anal sex. It's also likely that David is a rape victim, as he was quite a faggy looking little twink in his youth.

See Also

• Ku Klux Klan
• Moonman
• Zyklon Ben
• Auschwitz Andersen
• Caitlyn Jenner - Who he's often mistaken for.
• Alex Jones - A less crazy Right-wing conspiracy nut.

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