Melodramatic
Melodramatic.com is a journal aggregation portal, similar to LiveJournal and DeadJournal. Mind blowingly, it manages to be more hipster than MySpace.
The beginning and history of Melo.
At least 100 years ago the owner Sara Sioux created Melodramatic for the lulz. She accomplished this well and attracted Emo from all over Los Angeles like a moth to the flame. Little did she know that the mass influx of Emo would eventually overload and pwn her server. Thus melo died and everybody's shit got erased.
Since Emo are the biggest subscriber of butthurt they all got pissy, packed up their shit, and headed to MySpace.
Too many smoke rings?
Most of the features of the old "1.0" version are still exactly the same as the current "1.9" version; which is actually supposed to be "2.0" but due to the owner blowing too many smoke rings and her lack of PHP coding skills she FAILS it.
Much like High School, the Internets have formed groups and cliques. “Melo” only has 9000 users, most of which are emo faggot basement dwellers who are either too ugly, or too full of fail to be a quality myspacer. Thus “Melo” is more or less a group of loners that everyone else throws apple-cores and other trash at during lunch.
Jeffree Star
Believe it or not Melodramatic gave birth to the fugly transvestite and MySpace Celebrity Jeffree Star. Prior to MySpace being a place for fucktards and other pieces of shit, Jeffree was a melo-celebrity that went by the name of Cunt. Ever wondered where he came up with that stupid song "WE WANT CUNT"? Now you know.
Patrick the lolcow
Patrick was the biggest troll on melodramatic. But to many it soon became clear he was a batshit insane schizophrenic, as he continued to visit melo, create fake accounts and post nonsensical accusations toward the melo admins for 4 years. Using the original username 'trailertrash' he solicited an underage girl for sexy time on a chat forum and basically got shunned by users and admins alike. Patrick quickly became quite good at making new usernames and still spams melo to this very day even though permabanned. He is mostly ignored, but still drums up new conspiracies.
Between his simpleton personality, being disgustingly redundant, and his knack for grammar and spelling he is rather easy to spot.
Two easy ways to spot Patrick.
1. Patrick will claim that someone has been posting pornigraphic images for children to see. Even though this is sometimes true, it falls under the category of shit nobody cares about.
2. Patrick will often claim that the admins have "doctored" his words, but everyone knows he is simply batshit crazy.
3. Patrick has taken up accusing admin 'puck' with serious harassment, and claims he needs to legally reveal his full name, due to Internet Law.
—Patrick. | ||
—Patrick. | ||
Bluubyke
Bluubyke is some stupid twat whose idea of making fun of someone for having no life is taking the time to create an entirely new Melo account with a similar-but-not-quite name to the person in question and reproducing it in exacting detail, except that the posts are slightly altered to appear douchey. Apparently, attempting to move to America lead to Bluubyke's demise, leading to it being an unintentional an hero. In other words, failure of epic proportions. Very few people succeed when it comes to failing at failing. Bluubyke is one of those few. Rest in piss, cunt. And no, I don't mean you, Jeffree.
MOAR TROLLS!
And more recently melodramatic is overrun with trolls with many a minions! When encountered by trolls trolling you over spilt milk (AKA lost karma)Work quickly to make many accounts to steal their karmas and PWN them!
BigCatPants
One of the greatest trolls of melo BigCatPants was able to troll melo like never before. His greatest feat was when he fucked everyone on his hit list in the ass by forcing them to delete their own folders! lol! By tricking them into visiting his sock puppet profile his skills in java-script proved to be 9/11 for his victims. The screams and cries could be heard all through out the internets along with many threats of leaving melo forever.
This brings forth a very important question; was this done for the lulz? Why yes! Yes it was! Feeling butthurt because people were being racist bastards and not respecting his Afghanistan authority he felt the need to enforce his e-peen. His second motive was an attempt to get banned from melo since he was too addicted to walk away on his own. Suicide by Admin.
The Hashi Oona Conspiracy
Melo has many conspiracy's but one of the deepest, darkest, and most twisted is when BigCatPants AKA "Hashi" AKA "Hashmat" AKA "DrunkCatPants" became lonely one day and decided that if he couldn't score with the bitches of the OC then he'd create a girlfriend; the perfect girlfriend. A combination of a character out of Final Fantasy, drunken Irish whore, severe burn victim, and crazy cat lady "Oona" was born.
FACTS: Oona owns over 9000 cats, has never posted a picture on the internets, does not live in a real location, keeps trash in the closet until it piles up so much she is forced to take it out, got into bar fights with the wee Irish drunkards when she "lived in Dublin."
It became obvious that they were one in the same when questioned Hashmat would go into a RAGE and place them on his hitlist.
Educational Videos
This is the owner doing what she does best, blowing smoke up your ass.
If you listen closely in the beginning, you hear one drunk speaketh "Did you get this on ED?" Definitely doing it for the lulz.
Visit the Owner: Sara Sioux