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Ryan Schallenberger
Ryan Schallenberger is the epic fail guy of an hero day 2008 who almost committed a school massacre until his mom got scared and called the partyvan.
His parents called the police after 10 pounds of ammonium nitrate, a fertilizer commonly used in the fabrication of bombs, was delivered to their home in Chesterfield, South Carolina. They also discovered a disturbing journal in which, Ryan whined about his rich and beautiful classmates and praised the "Columbine Killers" like a good little fanboy.
In his journal, Ryan stated that he wanted to "Blow up the school so he could go to heaven and kill Jesus".
His parents also uncovered over a years worth of plans for the bombing, which were very well thought out and could have actually worked. It is yet to be confirmed whether his internet handle is Pokchu.
Ryan is now accused of being a terrorist and could face life in prison. Nope, just 10 years. [1]
Graded Score
| Kill count: | 0/20 ' |
|---|---|
| Accuracy: | 0/20 well, he didn't really do anything |
| Style: | 14/20 manipulation, bomb collection, trenchcoat, macabre flair |
| Butthurt: | 8/20 Creating a moral panic, inspiring generations of copy-cats |
| Bonus: | 18/20 Actually decent plan |
Wanted Level:
Kindergarten Crossing Guard
