Manzes

The creature known as Manzes has a long and storied history as a bastion of Gaming Righteousness™... in his own mind, anyway. He's a prolific troll, but only in one area: Chris Roberts STAR CITIZEN. He's been spotted trolling in such illustrious publications and websites as PCGamer, MassivelyOP, and even the LA Times. He specializes in ridiculous arguments, claims of fraud, barely coherent English, and general faggotry.

Alt-aholism

The following are confirmed alts that the assclown has posted under.

• Manzes : One of the most popular name he's used. Shows up everywhere.
• Tufao : Original name.
• JCRG99 : Roberts Space Industries forum name. Confirmed twatter handle. Reddit name also. This is the one that he quotes when asked for "proof" of whatever idiotic thing he's saying at the moment. Self reference for evidence... fucking classy!
• GamerofThrones : most recent PCGamer name. Recently banned for launching weapons-grade derp.
• /u/mestremum : Reddit name. Often refers back to this name for "citations" as well.
• PonyMillar : An earlier name, it appears to be abandoned currently. Still pops up on old articles, seemingly unbanned.
• TommenStark : Occasional use.
• MrGaribaldi : Occasional use.
• MoreDelays : Occasional use, mainly on PCgamer.
• Marty : Occasional use, mainly on Kotaku Uk.

VOIP is the Debil!

The origin story of Tufao by /u/AyrJr

A few years ago, back at the start of 2013, a friend of mine that didn't knew how to read/speak english stumbled upon this Star Citizen Brazilian fan-site, he translated all the posts and news regarding Star Citizen so people that didn't knew how to read from the official site could get their info. A few months have passed and my friend, the site owner and a few other readers made an organization between them, the fan site owner and now "Guardian of the Book" of the organization was called Tufao, I was later invited 1 week after that to join them.

Man, Tufao was hyped about the game, the rest also was but not like him, oh no... He was present across every single gaming forum there was that had at least one topic about Star Citizen in it, he would come around and chant the world of Chris Roberts as the lord and savior of PC gaming and ask us to read his topics and replys, and ask what we thought about it. Wait a minute... That doesn't look like Tufao... you must be wondering, what went wrong.

Back to the "organization blogspot", a council was created, where 12 people + "The Guardian of the Book" (there wasn't actually 12 people in it yet), would create rules, accept new members, missions... And you actually had to create in a specific way, because Tufao actually created a format and guidelines for you to follow if you wanted anything from the council, it needed to have at least 500 words for example.

To stop the craziness I suggested that we should use some kind of VOIP, I had a server and I could easily install anything that they wanted, and yes I had to write a 500 words letter using the guidelines to "Let's use TeamSpeak."

Tufao did not liked the idea, he was all about the immersion.. If we were not on the same solar system, or in a Nebula or whatever, you would not be able to use voice comms, while I was just talking about using TeamSpeak to do these stupid discussions. He did not wanted to use it, in fact he was certain that CIG would ban the use of TeamSpeak in the game, so he created a topic at CIG asking if it was going to be prohibited or not, CIG answer was of course, no. After that day, he started to create topics and polls to ban any kind of external VOIP while playing Star Citizen in the official forums, while back at the Blogspot HQ, everyone except Tufao wanted to use TeamSpeak and the council approved my request to use it. That's when the kid that owns the ball takes it back, he deleted the conversation and whatever I posted he would delete it, confronted by the rest he just said that he was "The Guardian of the Book" and his word is always final. So 1 week after I joined, everyone left.... Ohhh, he also closed down his site, so that my friend and the other guys could not get their news. He did not stopped talking about the TeamSpeak thing at Star Citizen forums (he even got a response from Chris Roberts himself) and at other Brazilian gaming forums, always with those walls of text, he was then finally asked to stop creating those topics or he would be banned from the forums, which he did not did and was then banned.

He was banned from many places later on, but unrelated to CIG decision to ban him, but strangely enough he still creates new accounts and come back to argument and troll around. Also, did you know he was the first guy to be banned from the Star Citizen forums? Before his account was banned in a Brazilian forum, a mod tagged him as being the first one to accomplish this.

TL;DR: Tufao was super fanatic about the game and his wall texts, and now... you know who he is, just search for the Han Solo picture.

Brazil's #1 Fan

It's got what haters crave

As stated above, Tufao/Manzes/CumDumpster was a HUGE fan of the game, and took it WAY too seriously. Once he got a reply from the developers than VOIP wouldn't be limited by range, he decided to begin harassing the female employees of CIG, his favorite target being Sandi Gardiner.

Sandi G, being a vice president of customer service at the time, was the unfortunate soul to which Manzes attached all his hatred. Apparently, believing that if he was a big enough DICK, they'd listen to him (or perhaps he'd become a Sith Lord). He threatened, lied to, implied that she was married to Roberts in a derogatory way (if you know what I mean, and I think you do), and harassed. He was hit with the banhammer and was refunded his money as per the Kickstarter Terms of Service, in order to get rid of him.

"Mike: "Manzes is trolling the comments there. He's prolific. I took the liberty of Obliterating some of his more nonsensical points."

Sandi: "thanks Mike - I think it's a former fan who was banned from our forums"

Sandi: "he was banned over a year ago and refunded, was really horrible to all of us at CIG, said he was SCs No1 Brazilian fan""

"OH NO, you'll never give me back the money I gave you!" He exclaims. And so the haterade began to flow, into anything even REMOTELY mentioning Star Citizen.

How to spot a "Banzes"

He's banned regularly from most locations for being such a fucktard, so the easiest way to tell if he's been there is to check the bottom of your shoes for dog shit. Barring that, you'll usually see half of a conversation, while the other half reads This Comment Has Been Deleted

If you DO happen to spot a Manzes in it's "Not Even Final Form" you'll note that aside from being nearly unintelligible, he's most often sporting a picture of Han Solo as an avatar.

Occasionally he'll use StarLord as well.

Also, offer to discuss thing over VOIP with him. It's hilarious.

Lies, Damn Lies, and Derek Small

Having been on a solo (get it?) crusade for much of his bridge-dwelling-under career, Tufao/Manzes/BellEnd or whatever seems to have found a kindred spirit... in failed developer Derek "I'll sue you" Small.

You may remember Derek from being that guy that created BattleCruiser3000, and then took your money you worked so hard mowing lawns as a teenager, and then promptly shit all over your computer and then got some in your eye. He then went on create BattleCruiser3000 again, and again, and again. All with equally disastrous results. The series has earned the only, ever, MetaCritic score in the negatives.

And now Derpy Sharts has set his sights on his new arch-enemy, and (in his mind) competitor for his new game Line of Cocaine which appears to be a shitty knockoff of PlanetSide. But not the good second one, the first one from 2003, with the ass-tastic graphics that Derek is really keen to use for his own game. It's still Early release, even though it was slated to release like a year ago, and it's shit. It has earned the "very negative 18%" rating on Steam, but still for some FUCKING reason has $149.96 in DLC packs. Fuck YOU, Derek.

They've created a fun little psychopathic family on Twitter, where they're all just the best of girlfriends. That all they do is sit around and admire each others hateboners re: Chris Roberts.

Note: If Derpy would spend 1/4th of the time he spent online trolling and threatening lawsuits on developing games, his shitty new game would probably be done by now.

Lord of the Games

• Frodo:

"There's something down there..."

• Gandalf:

"It's Manzes... Now the Game has drawn him here.
He hates and loves the Game, as he hates and loves himself. He will never be rid of his need for it. Tufao's life is a sad story.
Yes, Tufao he was once called... before the Game found him. Before it drove him mad."

Manzes is part of a series on Gaming Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.