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Statistics

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Statistics are numbers. These numbers can be used, finessed, and cited in order to pwn someone in a debate, or to make yourself look more intelligent than you actually are, and also to lie. Whether these numbers are actually factual or properly collected is irrelevant.[1]

Yeah, it's pretty and all, but WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!?!?!?
Statistics can be displayed using a venn diagram
Pie charts can also be effective debate tools

Most people who use statistics in everyday life are lusers who are too busy crunching numbers to leave their basement dwelling.

The unfortunate corollary is that most people who focus on statistics are rich and beautiful.

Some argue that 43% of all statistics are completely useless.

Famous Statistics

These statistics constitute common knowledge, and should be used in any debate in order to pwn your foe. (The best part of using statistics in debate is that no one can tell if you lie.) Remember: 94% of liberals hate statistics!

  • 49% of United States voters liked George W. Bush.
    • Bush had an approval rating of 90% after he did WTC.
    • Bush's approval rating fell to 25% by the time Barack Obama took over.
    • 100% of liberals fail to accept that he could ever be loved so much.
    • 18% of Americans like him now LOL.
  • Leeroy Jenkins' raid group had a 32.33 (repeating of course) % chance of survival.
  • 95% of mediacrat's sexual partners had herpes.
  • At least 100% of mediacrat's sexual partners now have herpes.
  • 90% of badlydrawnjeff's articles are crap.
  • 65% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
  • 99% of school shooters die virgins, except for infamous homos like Eric and Dylan.
  • One in 10 computers in America now houses some type of evil spirit. [1]
  • Ten out of ten non-gay men prefer a big black cock in their mouths.
  • 2 out of 3 people have an uncircumcised penis.
  • 23% of statisticians are affiliated with the Nazi party.
  • A math major is 2.5 times more likely to die alone.
  • 97% of all Nigraz are HIV positive.
  • 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.
  • Despite making up only 13% of the U.S. Population, Niggers make up 52% of the homicide rate. BlackLivesMatter.
  • 95% of Jews are bad news.
  • Despite being only 2% of the population, American Jews make up to 70% of the wealth.
  • The 1% controls 50%+ of the wealth in america.
  • One in three Americans believe that 9/11 was an inside job, and that Jews Did WTC. [2]

See also


 

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Statistics is part of a series on Language & Communication
Languages and DialectsGrammar, Punctuation, Spelling, Style, and UsageRhetorical StrategiesPoetryThe Politics of Language and CommunicationMediaVisual Rhetoric
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