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Portal:Anime/Featured Article/Archive
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August 2023
One Piece (of Shit) is a series about pirates created by Oda, who came up with the idea after reading his favorite Dragonball hentai doujins. Despite this, there is a significant lack of theft, pillaging, rape, wooden limbs, pirates, sodomy or mass executions, which automatically makes it shit. Instead, a roaming crew of do-gooder clichés travel the high seas whilst performing every power-up short of a Super Saiyan or actually crapping themselves in the attempt.
Predictably, each crewmate has a dream (alongside a TRAJIC PAST) which they feel they need to achieve but won't, as Oda knows a cash cow when he sees one and will stretch out the series until he dies of heart failure or is knife-raped in the butt by a pissed fanboy. As a result of this, One Piece could be perceived as a comment on the pseudo-limbo we find ourselves residing in: always wanting something just out of reach and living lives blighted with disappointment. Alternatively, it could be perceived as a money-making behemoth and easy TV which teeters on the verge of being universally slated as bullshit by having a relatively badass moment every 70 episodes or so.
One Piece is immensely popular despite having the worst character designs in history, features countless scenes of characters sobbing like bitches, and will be 1/16th away from completion upon its 40,036th episode, to the point hopefully no one will care, since Eiichiro Oda, who unlike Masashi Kishimoto has no idea when to end his shitty series. It should be noted that his show's content is not appropriate for anyone above the age of 10.
July 2022
Dragon Ball Z (also known as DBZ) is a show about 'roid-enraged, shirtless, and constipated super-apes who spend fifteen episodes talking about how powerful they are, and the next five screaming "Ha" at the top of their lungs before one or more of them explodes. Fans claim that it is action-packed and has tons of fighting, despite there being almost no fighting. Every episode mostly consists of staring contests, landscape pans, and witnesses clenching their fists and looking worried, and if there is fighting, it's not until you realize you wasted twenty minutes of your life to see a three-second fight. In short, it's sort of like professional wrestling, but for even stupider people.
February 2022
Gary Motherfucking Oak is/was a Pokémon-based 4chan meme originating on /v/, which soon spread to other boards, such as /b/. Although Gary Oak threads are almost always epic, there are many who will dismiss this meme and h8 on Gary Oak with an unrivaled passion. Additionally, you can often locate a thread or discussion of Gary Oak by the heated, rampant, pointless debate and faggotry with which this meme is associated.
March 2021
Digibrony/Digibro/DigiGALxxXXxx69 (Powerword: Conrad Collins) (as well as about a dozen other usernames) is an alcoholic pedophile and YouTube anime critic (possibly a secret tranny) who pays his parents rent to live in their house lives in his girlfriend's house who works and goes to school to pay their rent, while he rants about needlessly over-analyzed intricacies of My Little Pony and anime for a living Oops did your channel get deleted? :3c (the channel is back and worse than ever).
After being excommunicated from the MLP community for being too cringy and obnoxious even for them (how much of an autist do you have to be for that to happen?), he temporarily gained the favor of anime youtube, until he lost it all again when he started making videos talking shit about every single other anime youtuber, saying he's better than them (despite making the worst content) and blocking and trying to get anyone who criticized him banned from youtube (he once even bragged that he met another anime youtuber at a convention and started lecturing him about why his videos are better). As a result of this, Digi gained a reputation of being a thin skinned hypocrite who's constantly contradicts himself, and yet somehow manages to be guilty of literally everything he accuses other people of, even if he's attacking them for two completely opposite things.
He is currently hated by every other anime youtuber, all of whom he hates right back, and who don't want to associate with him, and his channel is dying.
His most recent endeavors revolve around manipulating a small group of retards he regularly verbally abuses into becoming financially depended on him and a bad podcast he runs and pretends he will turn into a business so that he can continue to push them around. The rest of his time is spent being trolled to death by Mumkey Jones fans for kicking him out of this autistic podcast because he wouldn't tell his fans to stop making fun of Digibro and his friend Jesse for bulling an autistic 16 year old.
Side note - Digi is famous for how badly he smells.
2019-2020
they went missing lol
December 2017
YandereDev (Powerword: Alex Mahan) is a weeaboo who is currently creating the game Yandere Simulator. Aside from the fact that the game is an obvious ripoff of "Yandere", Yandere Simulator is a shitty Hitman clone, except, instead of having big, open areas, location diversity and tension, it has only one area inside a school and no tension. Not to mention that none of the game's assets are made by him, he just steals them from Gmod or other games and calls it a day; but don't you DARE mention this to him, because these models are obviously just placeholders, and not realising that makes you a stupid goddamn fucking elitist snob. Really, the only redeemable quality about the game is that you get to kill school children.
February 2017
Gundam: A show that focuses on giant robots blowing the mortal shit out of each other! Along with DBZ, most anime fans have been at some time hooked on Gundam Wing- Especially if they claim to be a “Gundam Fan”. Every Gundam series looks good on paper, or the DVD case, but when you actually sit down and start watching it you realize it's just a series focusing on teens with raging hormones, stupid arguments and lacking the constitution, nay, the lust, to use their mobile suits properly.
What is the proper use of a mobile suit, you ask? Why, random destruction and mayhem of course! Why else arm the fuckers with cannons that can wipe out continents and commit genocide at will?? It's a goddamn shame that emo soldiers are piloting every single one. Every single one, goddammit. Doesn't that remind anyone of something else?
March 2015
Kill la Kill (キルラキル Kiru ra Kiru) is an edgy Magical Girl Animu made by Trigger, who has a blood fetish. It's basically Evangelion and Dragon Ball Z combined. The plot is a prequel to Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt, related to FLCL, complete with Goku uniforms. It was hailed by /a/ as the saviour of animu, but it turned out to be nothing special.
March 2014
Monster Musume no Iru Nichijou (Daily Life With a Monster Girl in Engrish, or simply Monster Musume) is the most recent manga to take /a/ by storm, capturing the young, lonely dwellers with its intense plot and dynamic characters. The story revolves around Kurusu Kimihito (aka darling, husband, master, and sir) whose life got flip turned upside down after he was admitted into the "Cultural Exchange Between Species" program.
December 2013
Nichijou is a pointless manga-turned anime featuring your average roster of kawaii schoolgirls, lolis, robots, and a number of other things that are beyond the point of comprehension. This anime, itself, is the result of Lucky Star and the Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya fucking violently. However, unlike every other anime that has been created, it doesn’t try to make pop culture references or actually perform any fanservice, probably due to the show’s complete failure in Japan. Whether this is a win or a fail is to be decided.
November 19, 2013
404 Girl is the nickname people have given to the girl on many of 4chan's numerous 404 pictures, which come up when you try to refresh a thread that died while you were away. However, weeaboos, faggots and retards will call her Yotsuba. /b/ is limited to keeping 15 43 pages worth of active content 'up' after which a dead or dying post will go to the post graveyard.
*Note: If a weeaboo calls her 404 Girl they fail (moreso) as one, because her name is Yotsuba (meaning four-leaf, GET IT? LIEK 4CHAN! HA! HA!).
September 5, 2013
If you are wapanese and ronery or can't get laid no matter what you do, this is the pointless cure for you! A dating sim is a video game which allows you to have relationships with anime girls who wouldn't look at you on the street. Many people who play these sort of games are said to have absolutely no life and some of them actually think situations such as those depicted in the game can really be true. A lot of free Dating Sims can be found in such sites as Newgrounds, although one must remember that playing one dating sim is considered research. After that, it's just plain faggotry. This, of course unless you are actually repeatedly using these sims because you couldn't figure out how to ask an Asian cunt out in the first place, in which case you are a total fucktard.
August 5, 2013
Fan dubs are irreverent gemstones that help bridge the gap between anime released in America and Japan. Japan is usually way ahead of the translated versions in America, and fans that get stuck on a cliffhanger sometimes just can't wait to find out what happens next. Looking at fan dubs is more sensible than having to wait 3 years and paying $59.99 for three episodes. Sadly, seeing a fan dub might leave one more confused and disappointed than if they were to see the untranslated Japanese version.
Another use for fan dubs is parody work or tributes of sorts. Surely, nothing is more hilarious than casting your puberty-entrenched middle school class as the cast of Evangelion! And surely we can all enjoy people being RANDOM!!!!1!1 and saying out of character, dumb shit in cartoon-like voices for hundreds of hours across the entire lifespan of an anime series? The answer is no - what the fuck is wrong with you, haven't you tortured us all enough by wearing your Naruto headband in public? Why don't you take your stupid PC microphone and sit on it and spin!
A fan dub differs from a fan sub in that a person records their voice over top of the original actors', whereas in a fan sub, the sound is not altered but a translation of the conversation is written along the bottom of the screen.
June 11, 2013
Fullmetal Alchemist is a crazy animu/manga about a boy and his robot/metal unicorn. The original title, Love Alchemy was dropped when Love Hina beat them to the punch. Some argue that the main character's titular nickname comes from the fact that he frequently uses the metal shavings lodged in his rectum from fucking his robot brother in his alchemy. The series incorporates science, religion, magic, politics, action and adventure to tell a thrilling tale about the First Law in alchemy: "humankind cannot gain anything without giving something in return."
June 4, 2013
Dickgirl is a name lovingly given to women with penises (in contrast to cuntboys, which are men with vaginas). If a dickgirl is thought to be a regular girl by an unsuspecting victim, when it turns out to have a banana where their fish pocket ought to be, said dickgirl is known as a trap. When said abominations are drawn into pornography by basement-dwellers when they're not busy posting about how much they like it in the butt on Facebook, it is referred to as Futanari.
