GNU Social

GNU social (formerly statusnet) is a failed twitter clone, currently used only by bronies, linux enthusiasts, channers, people with crippling depression and communists. The real lure of GS is the fact that it’s “decentralized”, which means that it’s made up of many websites connecting and sharing with each other. This has caused many lulzy rivalries between servers such as, Freezepeach VS Mastodon, Sealion.club VS Mastodon, Highland Arrow VS Mastodon, fucking everybody VS Mastodon. (Mastodon isn’t terribly popular). GS experienced its biggest influx during the events of #RIPtwitter around February, 2016. The amount of people who arrived during the February rush nearly caused an eternal-september style event but they all returned to twitter in less than a day, thus preserving the shitshow within.

GNU social discussing important topics

The GNU social server

GS is made up of ancient archaic dark magic, that stands on broken dreams and holds on duct tape. Alternate servers also exist and tend to be just as bad or worse. Postactiv is GS but with a new logo and Mastodon, despite not being written in PHP manages to be worse than the original, mostly due to the fact that the lead dev will ban you faster than a wikipedo on speed and thus, loses the only people who could make his short-sighted project a minor success.

Freezepeach

	“	I’m sorry, but Hollywood needs to die.	„
	—truth, https://freezepeach.xyz/notice/141262

Freezepeach currently holds the record for being the most blocked instance in GS Which is actually quite the feat. FZP is home to many notable users such as Kaiser, Se7en, Vloev and Coolboymew. Se7en frequently shares tech and Trump articles and is apparently not huge fan of furries

Smug loli

	“	maybe try Gentoo so you can recompile your keyboard driver.	„
	—You know, the loli server, https://gs.smuglo.li/notice/1234595

Smug loli is the by far the most anime-crazed server, and that is REALLY saying something. It is also illegal in Canada which sokyaf found out the hard way. Some of the more notable users are Nepfag, Hector, Dolus, karo and chen. Hector, despite being on the loli server rarely talks about loli, anime or anything like that in favor of dank memes and linux which is a trend that actually seems to run throughout the server's community. He also was a part of the brief attempt at a chan for the gnu-socialites which adventually shut down, abandoning all 15 posts on the site. Nepfag is the admin of the site and also happens to be one of the few people who discusses things other than linux on the site which makes him pretty unique straight off the bat. There was also another chan that’s still around and is filled with 8chan rapefugees. Most notable for a monstergirl board in which weebs post pictures of animu’d up monsters with huge tiddies and a love of female on male rape.

Shitposter.club

Shitposter.club (AKA, slowposter club) is one of the most popular instances on the federation, it is also known for it’s accidental uses of time-travel frequently traveling half an hour back in time. Any posts will also wait an hour before arriving on any other servers as to prevent time anomalies from forming. It is also known for being the only server not completely shitcanned by mastodon, of course Gargron approves each user before his posts can enter his site but still, for a site with a decently high capitalist population, that’s impressive. The site is run by Moonman who is in competition with Fl0wn and Nepfag for coolest admin. The server is hosted in NYC so the NSA doesn’t have to have 24/7 operatives to monitor GS.

Sealion Club

It's basically /pol/.

The CP server

After the thinly veiled Japanese pedophile movement LGBTPZN’s attempt to colonize FreezePeach was foiled by the ever-present fl0wn, the leaders of the movement are believed to have started their own server, developed entirely for their lord and master pedobear. It is counted among the ranks of Atlantis, El Dorado, the Fountain of Youth and Gargron’s balls. Some believe it never existed, others believe that the party van is now in possession of its sacred grounds, but one small sect of users believes that somewhere, out there in the deep dark jungle of the internet, lies hidden the official LGBTPZN server.

mastodon

Mastodon is a shitty excuse for a social network, perpetrated by it’s eternal autocrat Gargron. It’s famous for going after anybody who has ever had a whiff of republican or any other right wing thought (or just about anyone who isn’t a gay communist furfag anarchist programmer), going fucking ape shit on them just in time for big daddy Gargron to block the node to prevent his beautiful sanctuary from being threatened by a word of sane, rational thought. They frequently refer to the users of FZP and SLC as nazis so much that adventually, they began ironically calling themselves nazis, which attracted actual nazis, which made relations even worse. Nowadays the apeshits went back to tumblr. Their void was quickly filled by legions of absolutely brain-dead retards who believe the peak of comedy is saying the words “bepis”, “gay”, and “toot” for no fucking reason. Tumblr is in fact, preferable to Mastodong because they have the cognitive ability to form complete sentences and use actual words compared to the slop that is frequently seen slowly sliding down the public timeline. At one point, so called “moderates” claimed that there were a few good people residing in mastodon.social. That argument is no longer valid seeing as all four people capable of rational thought have abandoned the site for instances that don’t do mass blocking for egotistical purposes or better yet, no longer stay on sites running mastodon at all.

The bots

There is a large amount of bots created to hide the fact that nobody actually uses GS, so many were created in fact that a tally may be necessary to show you the magnitude of the problem.

• One BBC bot
• Two Zerohedge bots
• Two RT bots
• God knows how many Markov chain bots
• Seven known image bots
• Wikipedia bot
• Urban dictionary bot
• Image repost bot
• (Briefly) A Terry Davis bot
• One quote bot
• A lewd quote bot
• A youtube comment simulator
• A Yuri bot
• Jeff
• RMS
• Delores

There are even more bots than this out there, either not listed or undiscovered.

Alternative channels of communication

GS users can frequently be found communicating with each other over email, IRC and other services. You may be asking yourself But why don't they just use GNU Social?, well, they claim that they use other methods when GS won’t do for a fast conversation but in reality, they have come to the slow realization that GS is complete shit and are silently trying to escape before Mastodon comes in and makes it an even bigger pile of shit.

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