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ChaCha
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
CrotchCha is the latest contender for Google.
The difference between ChaCha and most search engines is that ChaCha supplies you with an online guide to help you find relevant results.
USATODAY.com says that "One day searchers may quit Googling and start ChaCha-ing" [1]. This is about as likely as aforementioned searchers asking family members to stand over them as they masturbate to see if they're doing it right.
Besides, should ChaCha ever become a serious threat Google would just buy them out like they did JewTube.
ChaCha doesn't do guides anymoar, I keep saying but some fag keeps reverting.
They still call them guides, but they only respond to SMS queries.
Typical ChaCha Search
Status: Looking for a guide ... Status: Connected to guide: Lien(82603) Lien(82603): Welcome to ChaCha! Lien(82603): hi there You: Hi Lien You: ... If that is your real name. Lien(82603): yes Lien(82603): how can I help you today You: I looking for 2 girls, 1 horse, and 3 polynesian tigers. Lien(82603): what type of girls You: 1 black 1 white You: I like them like oreos You: I want to buy all of this, of course. You: wait You: are you there Lien(82603): yes Lien(82603): trying to find your request You: ok do you think I could attain all this for less then 1000 rupees You: ? Lien(82603): sorry for the delay You: Its ok You: do you think i can get it for less then 1000 Lien(82603): not sure You: o You: well if i have to sub the white girl for a mongolian one its usually cheaper. Right? Lien(82603): ian Lien(82603): i beleieve so You: ok then You: sub the white for mongolian Lien(82603): ok You: Want to know what im going to do with all this. Lien(82603): Thanks for being patient! Rest assured I'm finding the most relevant results for your search. You: Do you think you could find male horse and tiger. You: ? You: I need you to talk so I can ask stuff. You're just searching without talking. Lien(82603): ok You: Now I want to cross breed them and make a tiger girl and a horse girl. Lien(82603): lol You: Do you think this is easy to do Lien(82603): don't know You: o You: Well I was thinking if I take the horse semen and tiger semen You: and mix them then feed it to the girls it would work. Lien(82603): i thnk that might work You: enough searching Lien(82603): Are these results sufficient? You: i need you to talk from experience Lien(82603): While I am searching, have you had a chance to look at the relevant links at the side of the page? You: I was to busy thinking You: I need to know your opinion know. You: now* Lien(82603): ok Lien(82603): cool You: How much money do you think i can make at a circus if this works Lien(82603): anythign else Lien(82603): lots of money\ Lien(82603): let me know Lien(82603): i want some You: like 2000rupees Lien(82603): sure or more You: i will split 50/50 with you Lien(82603): ok You: I can wire transfer if you want. Lien(82603): ok You: What would a good name for them be lien? Lien(82603): good question Lien(82603): what do you think Lien(82603): tiger hay You: I can name one and you can name one You: How about Judeth You: be honest is that a good kinky name Lien(82603): higer You: I want them to be kinky Lien(82603): lol You: Judeth and Higer You: Excellent Lien(82603): lol Lien(82603): ok Lien(82603): need anything else You: man shipping and handeling is gonna be a lot. Lien(82603): well Lien(82603): it depends You: UPS is a pain with that Lien(82603): true You: Hey one last thing Lien(82603): yea You: rate this rap Lien(82603): i am here Lien(82603): what rap? You: I'm the hiphopapotamus my rhymes are bottomless You: ... Lien(82603): yea You: what would you rate out of 10 Lien(82603): 8 You: any criticism You: improvements You: ? Lien(82603): no Lien(82603): it was cool You: Ok I'm off to bread see ya in hollywood. Lien(82603): ok Lien(82603): see ya Lien(82603): need anything else You: yes a picture of danny tanner having buttsecks with dj tanner. Lien(82603): uh You: think you can help Lien(82603): not sure You: well can you try You: Ok I g2g dude. I need to finish eating my fecies. You: peace Lien(82603): bye Lien(82603): Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha. Status: Session ended.
Status: Connected to guide: Paul(69848) Paul(69848): Welcome to ChaCha! You: hey paul Transfer: You are being transfered to another guide who can help you search even better! Status: Looking for a guide ... Status: Connected to guide: Eric(56251) Eric(56251): Welcome to ChaCha! You: Hi Eric Eric(56251): Hey You: I'm into experimentation, and I was hoping you could find me something Eric(56251): Ok Eric(56251): What?? You: I want two goats and one girl Eric(56251): for purchase? You: finding the circumference of a circle You: I want detailed pictures of it Eric(56251): Dont be silly girls cant do math You: I'm VERY interested You: you're right... You: but the goats could do it while she sits there and looks pretty Eric(56251): Thats what shes good at Eric(56251): but Im pretty sure goats would just try to eat it You: oh yeah... You: describe the picture for me... You: mmm... You: oooh Eric(56251): Girls look pretty Eric(56251): goats You: kinky goats Eric(56251): do math You: no no no Eric(56251): Man girls are so PRETTY You: I want detail... Eric(56251): the girl has hair You: ahhh.... Eric(56251): and two eyes one nose Eric(56251): and a mouth You: oooh... Yeah Eric(56251): with LIPS You: look at me baby... Eric(56251): and she has ears, 2 Eric(56251): a neck You: uhh... Eric(56251): shoulders You: yeah.... You: Oh god Eric(56251): shes wearing a tshirt You: Oh god.. You: keep going@! You: YES You: GOD Eric(56251): she has no breasts You: IM CUMMING! IM CUMMING! Eric(56251): she lost them You: FUCK GOD YES! Eric(56251): due to cancer You: I love chacha…. Oh God… Eric(56251): her shirt says Eric(56251): FIGHT BREAST CANCER Eric(56251): shes a little chubby Eric(56251): but not too big You: Round two? Okay. Eric(56251): shes got like a little roll of fat between her shirt Eric(56251): and her pants You: more cushion for the pushin Eric(56251): and her belly button seems bottomless Eric(56251): just a black hole You: ooo.. Eric(56251): and her pants are clearly too tight You: just how I like it Eric(56251): but she wore them anyway You: naughty Eric(56251): shes got thick, meaty thighs Eric(56251): and shes wearing jeans Eric(56251): they are.. fashionable Eric(56251): her feet are stuffed into sandles You: mmm Eric(56251): but she has an obvious ingrown toenail on her right foot Eric(56251): she painted her nails You: I knew you'd come around Eric(56251): but you can still see You: okay, enough of the bitch, describe the goats.... Eric(56251): now shes sitting on a rock Eric(56251): ok Eric(56251): goats Eric(56251): theres one Eric(56251): on the left Eric(56251): hes got like a bell around his neck You: ooh... Lefty... Eric(56251): he has two little stubby horns Eric(56251): and ears, 2 You: Kinky little goat... You: aw Eric(56251): one has a big chunk cut out You: I like amputeees Eric(56251): I think thats from another goat biting his ear Eric(56251): and his eyes Eric(56251): eyeballs Eric(56251): are vertical Eric(56251): because goats are just like that weird You: vertical You: wtf Eric(56251): hes makign a chewing motion Eric(56251): with his mouth Eric(56251): but he isnt eating anything Eric(56251): maybe hes just dumb Eric(56251): hes staring at me You: maybe.... Eric(56251): i think he wants something You: what about the math? Eric(56251): i dont know what You: grass? Eric(56251): i dont think he knows either Eric(56251): probably grass Eric(56251): but hes trying really hard to determine whether Im grass Eric(56251): stupid goat Eric(56251): the other goat Eric(56251): looks very similar You: I love goats ^_^ Eric(56251): to that guy Eric(56251): but hes eating a piece of paper You: ooh which one Eric(56251): with a circle on it Eric(56251): the girl You: describe the guy Eric(56251): i did Eric(56251): hes grey Eric(56251): grey fur or hair or whatever goats have Eric(56251): hes kind of gaunt Eric(56251): i guess you could say hes in good shape for a goat Eric(56251): he has cloven hooves You: oooh Eric(56251): and a little tail Eric(56251): the tail is mostly white Eric(56251): but the rest of him is all grey You: mostly? You: does it have shit on it? Eric(56251): !!!! WARNING !!!! abusive language by infoSeeker (does it have shit on it?) Eric(56251): i thought it would be rude Eric(56251): to look that close Eric(56251): he might bite me You: ooo You: yeah Eric(56251): the girl goat You: that would You: I'm sorry Eric(56251): is a little shorter Eric(56251): she also has a bell You: wait.. Eric(56251): shes brown though You: I wanted two GUY goats... Eric(56251): and she has fat udders Eric(56251): well Eric(56251): I COULDNT GET You: man... That's gross Eric(56251): TWO GUY GOATS Eric(56251): ON SUCH SHORT NOTICE You: but... Eric(56251): ya its gross You: Chacha... Eric(56251): look You: you find what I want... Eric(56251): you wanted goats Eric(56251): i got you goats You: Guy goats Eric(56251): you wanted a girl Eric(56251): i found you an amputee Eric(56251): but shes a girl amputee Eric(56251): so Eric(56251): quit your bellyachin You: :( Eric(56251): i did my best Eric(56251): id like to see google do better You: :( Eric(56251): the other goat Eric(56251): has Eric(56251): eaten Eric(56251): teh paper You: You're really hurting my feelings Eric Eric(56251): that i drew a circle on Eric(56251): for them to measure Eric(56251): im afraid to stop her because shes bitey Eric(56251): she just had babies You: put Nipples on the paper to show, Hey we're not all work Eric(56251): and they get bitey when they just have babies Eric(56251): ok Eric(56251): i gotta go the cops are coming You: mmm... Pregnant chicks are hot Eric(56251): i stole these goats Eric(56251): and the amputee girl You: :( Eric(56251): im going to jail... You: you could come hideout at my place! You: I trust you Eric(56251): again You: ahhh Eric(56251): third time You: again? Eric(56251): this week You: what did you do? You: man I thought I knew you Eric(56251): murdered a family You: that's deep man Eric(56251): they You: I trust you Eric(56251): had it coming You: you had good reason Eric(56251): ya i didnt like Eric(56251): them You: you had to kill those babies in self-defense You: it's okay Eric(56251): only two of them were babies to be fair You: everyone's curb-stomped an infant in their life once or twice You: true... Eric(56251): everyone whos not a pu**y Eric(56251): i gotta go man You: damn fuckin straight Eric(56251): !!!! WARNING !!!! abusive language by infoSeeker (damn fuckin straight) Eric(56251): cops are coming and i just killed the amputee Eric(56251): im taking these goats Eric(56251): to mexico Eric(56251): Thank you for using ChaCha!
Status: Connected to guide: JohnN JohnN: Welcome to ChaCha! You: Hi there. JohnN: Hello JohnN: How are you today? You: Great John, how are you? You: I'm looking for something along the lines of fiction featuring Captain Kirk and Commander Spock of the classic television series Star Trek in a narrative pairing. JohnN: Good, thanks for asking You: No probl em :) JohnN: Okay, one moment please. You: Preferably of a fan written nature. JohnN: Are you looking for something as in a sound file or something someone has written? You: Something along the lines of fan fiction. Just, you know. Short stories by fans... Preferably something of a... mature nature. JohnN: Something along the lines of link one? You: Yes, EXACTLY like that, thank you! JohnN: Okay, one moment while I find related websites You: Very good, sir. You: I'd also accept anything with Mcculley Culkin. JohnN: So, you're also looking for Star Trek meets Home alone kind of fan fiction? You: Yep. JohnN: Interesting. JohnN: Let me see what I can find. You: Thanks, man. You: Oh, I'm also in the market for explicit Bart/Lisa GIFS if you've got an extra minute. JohnN: Well, unfortunately, I can only make one search per session JohnN: You know, I'm not seeing anything Star Trek and Mcculley Culkin related. JohnN: Would you like me to transfer you to someone else who may be able to help you further? You: How odd. You: No, I think I got everything I needed out of you. You: Thanks! JohnN: Great, have a nice day.
EdwardF: Hi there. I will be helping with your search. You: hey, i heard this rumor EdwardF: yes You: george bush looks like or is a monkey You: i'm trying to verify this EdwardF: really You: well that's what i need help with EdwardF: i will see what i can find, one moment please EdwardF: there is one, i will see what else i can find You: oh my god it's true You: george bush is a monekey EdwardF: can i help you find anything else tonight You: yes i was thinking of a barry white egg cup You: like you know the ceramic or metal cups that hold eggs EdwardF: one moment You: i would prefer one in the shape of barrys head You: rather than a screen print EdwardF: sorry there seems to be no sites with barry white being associated with any egg product EdwardF: let me try again You: oh well im pretty pleased i got to the truth about the bush monkey rumor first EdwardF: i can look for the egg holder once more if youlike You: i guess youre pretty good at this You: go on EdwardF: sorry i dont see any listings EdwardF: i hate not getting a result dwardF: can i do anything else for you this morning You: edward EdwardF: yes You: hold me
Status: Looking for a guide ... Status: Connected to guide: KarenB KarenB: Welcome to ChaCha! KarenB: Hello! You: hi karen, i want to know the most painless way to kill myself Transfer: You are being transfered to another guide who can help you search even better! Looking for guide ... Status: Connected to guide: LauraM LauraM: Welcome to ChaCha! LauraM: What can I help you find on this topic? You: can you help? You: i want to find the quickest, most pain free way to end my life You: i'm far beyond suicide prevention. i just want to die, will you help me You: please You: laura? You: why does everyone leave me????? LauraM: I'm here You: so how should i go about it? You: every website i've gone to has told me to take pills, but i know that can be painful unless you know what your doing You: assisted suicide looks good, thankyou laura LauraM: You need to seek help LauraM: Not just from me LauraM: And it's probably all pretty painful LauraM: Is there anything else on this topic I can find for you today? You: what good would that do, i've spent over £3000 on counseling over the last 2 years. it wont bring my wife and children back You: anyway, thankyou laura. You've given me the courage to end it all. Thankyou. LauraM: Are you still there? You: Thanks, I'm done. Status: Session ended.
Status: Connecting ... Status: Looking for a guide ... Status: Connected to guide: EmileD EmileD: Welcome to ChaCha! EmileD: Hello EmileD: How are you? You: Hey, how are you? You: I'm OK. You? EmileD: iam good EmileD: How can I help you today? You: Well, some guys at work were talking about "meatspin" and I was wondering what it was EmileD: ok, just one moment while I look it up for you You: OH MY GOD! You: WHY WOULD YOU SHOW ME THAT?! EmileD: you asked what it was EmileD: its my job to give you the info you asked for You: THIS IS DISGUSTING! You: EW!!! You: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!? EmileD: well you asked for it You: YOU'RE SICK! EmileD: whats wrong with you fag!!! EmileD: you must be gat!!!! EmileD: !!!! WARNING !!!! abusive language by guide (fuck you!!!!) You: YOU SHOW ME THAT AND HAVE THE GAUL TO CALL *ME* GAY!? EmileD: biat** you asked for it!! EmileD: ho EmileD: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha. Status: Session ended.
Status: Looking for a guide ... Status: Connected to guide: KimberlyJ KimberlyJ: Welcome to ChaCha! You: Hello Kimberly KimberlyJ: Hi there You: I need help...this is kind of embarassing You: but I'm just barely legal You: and my boyfriend wants to have intercourse You: and I was wondering if you could find any sites that teach me how You: or if you could give me pointers You: I don't know how to had sexual intercourse You: Oh, I forgot to mention that I am a homosexual You: You may have heard of us You: So I don't think these sites are very relevant KimberlyJ: Let me transfer you then. Transfer: You are being transfered to another guide who can help you search even better! Looking for guide ... Status: Connected to guide: sheria sheria: Welcome to ChaCha! You: Hello Sheria You: This is kind of embarassing but sheria: hello, how are you today You: I'm good but a little nervous, how are you? sheria: fine don't be nervous You: You see...I'm just barely legal and my boyfriend wants to have sexual intercourse sheria: and there is nothing to be ahamed about You: but I don't know how You: also, we're homosexuals, you may have heard of us sheria: yes I have You: I asked KimberlyJ but she said she didn't know how homosexuals do it You: and she transferred me to you You: It's kind of embarassing to be telling so many people I don't even know sheria: well the good thing is you don't know us You: Yeah, it'd be much worse if I was asking my parents sheria: so its less stress for you You: I'm Catholic sheria: I am a christian You: Oh gosh sheria: and do not agree with your lifestyle You: This is why I was nervous sheria: but I do not wnat you to get into something that will be bad in the end sheria: no pun intended You: So you won't help me? sheria: i will say if you are not ready to make that step wait sheria: and I will send you to a site that can help You: I'm ready...mentally. I want to pleasure James. You: It's just that I'm not sure how exactly homosexuals have sexual intercourse. sheria: how do you know that you are homosexual sheria: I have a friend and she said it kinda comes with know that that is who you are sheria: think about it You: I was born this way sheria: and hold a min while i try and assist you You: Even when I was little when I would meet other boys I found attractive You: I would get flustered sheria: you are catholic sheria: do you attend church You: Yes, I attend church sheria: and have you spoken with your priest sheria: regarding you perference You: No, I've already told you that this is embarassing for me You: But James and I do believe Jesus is God. Well, not God himself but you know what I mean. The son. You: God made us this way sheria: then you and james need to read his word regarding what he feels about the lifestyle You: We have, and we're not entirely sure if the Bible is being interpreted properly sheria: in my faith we belive in the holy spirit and in other spirits good and bad You: I mean why would God create people for him to hate? sheria: and believe that there are spirits that can be prayed off and that is one of them You: We're not posessed. We're very kind and good people. You: James works in a nursing home on weekends and I help out at the local homeless shelter on holidays. sheria: there is such a thing as the devil or enemy and his job is to steal kill and destry and anything contrary to God is to him You: So you believe the devil is the cause of all homosexuality? sheria: is good to him is what i meant sheria: yes sheria: and murder and diease You: I don't understand why God wouldn't stop him though. I mean God created him, he was originally an angel. sheria: that is why God said he bears our sickness and diease and we claim it and he wil take it You: Couldn't he just as easily destroy him? sheria: he gives us feel will and everything we do is a choice sheria: let me ask you sheria: he says that we are in this world but not of it sheria: when satan was knocked here he was the put here on earth sheria: though its all Gods world this is where he rolls sheria: and God is a God of order and will set things right in time but we have free will and an option to follow him or not sheria: the path to God is good but narrow , many rather the broad cause its popular sheria: Are these results sufficient? You: The links? You: Or the paths? sheria: the links sheria: the narrow is always God You: the link talks about a boy and a girl... You: James and I are both boys sheria: hold a sec You: However I do believe that homosexuality is the narrow path that many have chosen if that is what you are talking about sheria: avert.org sheria: is a area for all You: oh I see there is a sidebar, thank you You: was that the question you wanted to ask me? sheria: if it is ok i would like to pray for you, that you and james get a Greater understand of what God has for you both You: Thank you sheria: talk to your priest just to get direction on everything sheria: I do love you and you have a great day You: I think I love you too. You: You're very wise. You: Are you a man or a woman? sheria: i am a lady You: Oh...then I could never love you like that sheria: lol You: but as a neighbor sheria: i like that sheria: i am married any other way could get me in trouble sheria: :) You: Oh, haha. You: Well I don't know... You: if the devil is ridin' dirty here on Earth You: Couldn't God just stop him? You: Why would God make us suffer? sheria: He does not he shows us the way i see it like this, God gives a us something that satan does not a choice to do good or bad. We all know hte difference but our choice is where we take the stand . Satan is bent on evil alone. He wants to take as many of us with him because it makes is fire a little lighter. His fate is already know but its ours that is not You: I've always felt that God was the one who created me and put me on the path of a homosexual. What he had planned for me as my obstacles in this world. I've never thought the devil would be the one who made me this way. sheria: so to get to know God and what he wants for you is important to make that choice so that you can have a choice and not the one this world lays before you only, why do you think they wanted the bible out of schools and things like that , it forces many to see that what they do and how they live there lives is not the way God wants it sheria: do you believe in angles You: Yes You: Angels are who told Mary she was pregnant even though Joseph never made sweet love to her. sheria: when satan fell he took a 3rd of them with him sheria: so not to say he came and tapped you and said you will be homosexual sheria: we have things called generational curses and they are passed down You: are those like AIDS and mental retardation? sheria: i did not understand it till i read the bible and was free of some during a weeked with the church sheria: something like that You: I've read much of the Bible but I always interpreted it as God destroyed the sodomites because they did not care about the poor You: and not because they were homosexual sheria: no they swapped wives, men with men , women with women, and they worshipped idols and there was only one family that followed what God said and they were the only ones that got out sheria: I have to go though sheria: I loved talking to you You: Will I ever see you again? sheria: please go to your priest or a christian church ( pent, baptist) ask questions and ask for the location they are there for that reason if they are true men and women of God they will explain and make you welcome to learn of God sheria: LOl sheria: yes you will You: Thank you so much sheria. I enjoyed talking to you as well. sheria: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha. Status: Session ended.
Status: Connecting ... Status: Looking for a guide ... Looking: ... Status: Tasia has connected to help you with your search on Movies. Please wait while your guide searches for your results. Tasia: Welcome to ChaCha! You: Hello Tasia: Hi there Tasia: What kind of movies can I help you find today? You: I would you to find me a film that is a romantic comdey starring Edward Norton and Petter Sellers as a pair of street thugs who go to a strip club and get kidnapped by drug lords and forced to smuggle drugs into mexico, rated PG-13 Tasia: Are you just needing the name of the movie? You: Yes Tasia: One moment please You: Also a place where I can order it on DVD would be nice Tasia: Sure :) Tasia: Do you know how old the movie is? You: Made in 1997 Tasia: Peter Sellers died in 1980 Tasia: Could you be thinking of a different actor? You: Nope You: Edward Norton and Peter Sellers Tasia: This site shows the movies Peter Sellers was in and lists his date of death You: Which was? Tasia: July 24, 1980 of a heart attack You: Sorry I ment 1967 lol Tasia: lol okay Tasia: hmm .. Tasia: Well Tasia: I'm still not finding a movie that Edward Norton and Peter Sellers were in together .. Tasia: Would you like to see the three movies Peter Sellers did in 67? You: Forgot to mention I am not sure if the movie exists but if it does I would like to watch it Tasia: Well, I don't think it does Tasia: Is there something else I can find for you on this topic? You: The movie I wanted Tasia: Doesn't exist You: Are you sure? You: Can you name me a movie that exists? Tasia: The link I provided gives you a list of all the movies Peter Sellers was in Tasia: I can give you a link to the movies Edward Norton is in as well if you'd like You: What about a movie where Edward Norton wants to run for president but discovers that he can't because he was born in canada Tasia: Is this another movie you're not sure exists? You: Yes Tasia: I'm sorry, I can't help you. Tasia: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha. Status: Your ChaCha guide was Tasia ID: 73800 Status: Session ended.
Status: Connecting ... Status: Looking for a guide ... Looking: ... Status: Brenda has connected to help you with your search on help me. Please wait while your guide searches for your results. Brenda: Welcome to ChaCha! You: hi, brenda. i have a question. Brenda: Hello You: uh, yeah, hi. i have a question. Brenda: What may I help you find today? You: are you ready? most other guides have flat out refused to help me... it's something so horrible that you may not ever wish to see the light of day again. Brenda: I will attemp to assist you with your search. You: you are so willing to help, brenda. and so courageous. why is this? Brenda: I'm sorry I am not allowed to chat. Do you have a serious search request? If not I will need to end this session. You: all right. very wise. best ot get to the meat of the matter. i'm looking for a picture of an infant with Harlequin type ichthyosis. it's for my medical class. Brenda: Just a moment while I bring up that information. You: godspeed, brenda. godspeed. Brenda: Thanks for being patient! Rest assured I'm finding the most relevant results for your search. You: i will wait, brenda, for you to search those deep dark hollows of the interwebz for this most unholy prize... but will you make it out... with your mind intact? Brenda: I have found some articles, I am still searching for pictures. You: hmmm... a picture is what i need. try some of the darker corners. somewhere of pain. Brenda: I finally find one and it won't allow me to send, I am still searching. Thank you for your patience. You: you saw it? you saw the terrible thing? Brenda: Check out this site. You: does it have pictures? Brenda: Yes. You: and you can look on them without fear? Brenda: Yes. You: mein gott, brenda... you must be... THE CHOSEN ONE! Brenda: Is there anything else on this topic I can find for you today? You: no, no, no. what can i do for you, o chosen of longcat? Brenda: Have a good day. You: for it is you who will lead us to victory on catnarok! Brenda: Thank you for using ChaCha! Status: Your ChaCha guide was Brenda ID: 44482 Status: Session ended.
Status: Connecting ... Status: Looking for a guide ... Looking: ... Status: anthony has connected to help you with your search on pain series. Please wait while your guide searches for your results. anthony: Welcome to ChaCha! anthony: Hello You: hello, anthony. You: if that is your real name... anthony: it is anthony: Please be more specific as to what you're looking for on this topic. You: it's actually quite simple. it's a montage of medical abnormalities called the pain series. i need it for my medical class anthony: ok anthony: one moment please You: i'll wait. Transfer: You are being transferred to another guide who can help you search even better! Status: Looking for a guide ... Looking: ... Status: Cristi has connected to help you with your search on pain series. Please wait while your guide searches for your results. Cristi: Welcome to ChaCha! You: uh, yeah. hi, cristi. Cristi: Ok, one moment while I look that up for you... You: ok, thanks You: did you check them? is it a montage of medical abnormalities? i kinda need it for my medical class. Cristi: Yes, i read, looking now You: ok, cool. i'll wait. Cristi: I'm having a hard time finding these results, I will transfer you to a new guide for more help. Transfer: You are being transferred to another guide who can help you search even better! Status: Looking for a guide ... Looking: ... Status: nedra has connected to help you with your search on pain series. Please wait while your guide searches for your results. nedra: Welcome to ChaCha! You: uh, hi nedra. can you try to find my stuff? it seems nobody else can. You: hello? You: why am i having so much trouble with this? nedra: I am having technical difficulties. Transfering you to another guide. Transfer: You are being transferred to another guide who can help you search even better! Status: Looking for a guide ... Looking: ... Looking: ... Looking: ... Status: Guide not connected.
Some argue that ChaCha is a shitty idea, as it takes at least 100 times longer than a Google search and gives you maybe two results tops if the topic happens to be easy. It also has some "No pr0n policy," which ensures the breakthrough search technology is only applied to appropriate searches.
However, ChaCha is an endless source of lulz, as nothing is more fun than trolling ppl at random. Because of this, ChaCha employees are paid under minimum wage to put up with 13 year old boys shit all day.
But unfortunately the sick fucks have removed the endless source of lulz by removing the guide search entirely, leaving only a simple search, due to research and development into Text Messaging services. It was cheaper, even though that's hard to conceive, given the Guides' pay rates. All guides are now being retrained to work with users and their cell phones.
ChaCha has recently tried to acquire a larger share of search results from Google and so have tried a flagship of a service, in which Guides are given a better pay rate, in exchange for putting information in their blogging system, so that Guides' pages get hits in search results, which gives users a chance to search with their Guides. The only problem with this is that the Guide system no longer exists.
Hello (Insert Name Here), We're looking for some of our most passionate Guides who have a deep knowledge about anything and would be interested in consistently writing about it. Are you an expert on home-schooling?, Do you love to write about the best restaurants in your area? Do you have helpful tips to share with others about your local community? If you do then you might be the kind of person we're looking for. As Esther said in her blog, "We want to drive traffic to all the services and to find ways to spread the news about the unique value ChaCha offers by providing answers from people who are passionate about helping others. One of the ways that we can do this is by appearing in the top search results. In order to do this, ChaCha is partnering with Compendium Blogware, who will provide a tool for Guides to create blogs and for ChaCha to gain prominence in search results. We can “win” certain keywords, which will drive InfoSeekers to our Guides’ blogs on specific topics. Once they read the blogs, they will see the ChaCha search box where they’ll have the opportunity to search with a Guide." Having a blog is a great way to share your love and knowledge with everyone and if you are selected to be one of our test-pilots for our ChaCha blogs you'll find out what a rewarding experience it can be! If you're interested in maintaining your own personal ChaCha Blog, click on the link below to complete a short survey. We will be starting with a small pilot group before making them available to all Guides. If you are selected to be a part of this group we will get you blogging! Thanks! -Justin Keller ChaCha Guide Care
