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March Together For Life
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The Site
March Together For Life is a pro-life blog advocating the end of legal abortion rights. It is run by a fellow named Pete. IRL, Pete thinks he is a pretty smart cookie, but as we know, the internet makes fools of us all. Especially a hard-headed male that spends every waking moment trying to claim mining rights on uteruses (uteri?) all over the USA.
The Motherfucking Ay'yo Cockup
March Together For Life gained notoriety for publishing an article entitled Murder Without Conscience, criticizing the glib attitude towards abortion written by one Caroline Weber in the online/IRL newspaper The Onion. Pete was apparently unaware that The Onion is a very well known news satire site. Pete was also apparently unaware of the voraciousness of Intarweb Citizens, and after being lambasted in real life, had his left arm and half of his penis torn off. Eyewitnesses interviewed stated "Well, after we tore him and his arguments to shreds, we figured why not go for the motherfucking gusto?"
Police investigators state that an investigation is ongoing, but then recalled the ongoing investigation, stating "Fuck Pete."
Fallout
After over 500 comments on the Murder Without Conscience article, Pete attempted to salvage his pride by stating that he was aware that The Onion contains satirical articles. After over 500 comments on his followup article, Pete desperately tried to regain ground with this delightfully poorly-worded brainfart:
He signed his string of filth with "Color me stunned ... douchebag". His name is douchebag? ...& what color is "stunned"?
Pete's demonstrated knack for comedy could very well make him one of the kings of Teh Funney. What color is stunned, indeed? Thankfully, we can rest easy knowing that people like Pete are out there, solving problems such as these.
In one night, one dumb fucker managed to set back the online pro-life movement at least 100 years.
Controversy
There have been reports that Pete is actually a fetus that was aborted, but survived.
Though he/it has a bare minimum of motor functions and less than basic comprehension of reality, this is more than enough to crank out craptacular blog articles, and fight so very hard to retain what little pride he might have had.
