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Judge William Adams

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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If you take the man at face value, Judge William "Bill" "The Judge" Adams is a high class judge and all-around good natured family man. However, behind the monkey suit lies the most monumental redneck sack of shit you will ever meet. Hailing from the lovely county of Aransas in South Texas his existence is spent beating his wife and daughter and feasting upon the sandwiches they prepare for him. Make no mistake, while this smarmy fucker doesn't wear a wifebeater and shotguns cans of Bud Light, he is the embodiment of backwoods trash. When he's not busy lying through his teeth about his family life and wasting taxpayers' money on stupid shit he's getting secretly filmed beating the holy fuck out of his disabled furry daughter.

Judge William Adams
Judge William Adams lookin' cute. no homo
Download Kazaa? That's a paddlin'
Details
Description Texas Judge in Aransas County, known for paddlin' internet users.
Classification Progenitor of Butthurt
Virginity Compromised
Fears Kazaa, the internet, youtube, technology, gays
Values God, beating children, sodomy
<video type="youtube" id="etyugRjCkrY&start=42" height="25" width="190" frame="false" />
Links
URL Youtube
That's a paddlin'
   
 
Get on the stomach or I'm gonna start beatin' you again
 

 
 

Judge William Adams, exercising his second amendment rights like a retard

   
 
I never got mah lick in on 'er
 

 
 

Judge William Adams, demonstrating his true redneck colors

   
 
I'm a computer, some crazy bitch just installed Kazaa on me her dad found out and went BATSHIT CRAZY and almost beat the living fuck out of her!
 

 
 

—Computer, giving evidence

   
 
Hey guys I'm a belt, Some whore just downloaded Kazaa and her father found out and went fucking BATSHIT CRAZY, I was in the wardrobe at first and I was trying to stay out of it but the FUCK he came and got me too and they beat her with both of us!
 

 
 

—2nd belt, giving evidence

   
 
Hey guys, I'm some girls bed. I was just laying there, being a bed you know, and she was over there on her computer dowloading kazaa and the next thing I know her dad goes BATSHIT CRAZY. Then he gets me involved! Bends her over me and just starts belting her right on top of me.


 


 
 

—Bed, giving evidence



The Video

 
"The Judge" seen here shopping for fresh meat to pound.

Last Thursday the daughter of Billy posted a video to YouTube that was secretly filmed in 2004. The video in question depicts Judge Adams savagely beating his daughter with a belt. From what can be garnered from the video, Hillary is a bit of a video game fan (note the Starfox Adventures and Sonic Adventure 2 posters on the wall) and a computer geek. Judge Adams, being the upstanding, moral individual (read: redneck dumbfuck) he is didn't agree with her downloading that evil rock and roll music and playing those satanic video games and decided to "give her a spanking." Instead of a spanking, he proceeds to beat the living fuck out of her, good ol' boy style. At the time, Hillary was downloading Japanese music and games that were not yet available for legal purchase in the Jewnited States. Not wanting to miss out on the latest episode of the hottest animu Hillary turned to the Internets to satisfy her cravings. Disappointed with his daughter's actions, The Judge then decided he was going to beat some sense into the little shit.

Detecting the incoming justice, Hillary smartly placed her camera on a shelf and covered it, leaving it on "record" mode to capture everything that happened. Seven years later she released the video causing the shitstorm of butthurt taking place today.

He is seen relentlessly manhandling and beating Hillary everywhere on her body, threatening to beat her across the face if she doesn't assume his demanded positions. Hillary's mother, another victim of Billy's abuse, is seen shouting at her and telling her to "take it like a grown woman".

   
 
Take it like a grown woman!
 

 
 

—Wife of Judge William Adams, beating her daughter in fear of the same happening to her

 
Even Judge Judy has a hard time watching good ol' Billy's beating spree.

Because Hillary is a gamer the video rapidly gained momentum on the v board on 4chan where it then spread to b and subsequently Reddit from there, picking up supporters along the way. Judge Adams should be preparing his asshole for the oncoming shitstorm because lulz are sure to ensue. Hope your career works out buddy! (It should be noted that he is up for re-election on 8 November 2011, just one week after the video was posted. The timing of the video upload is almost certainly intentional, on the part of his daughter.)

It is worth pointing out that Hillary is disabled. She has cerebral palsy and thus has a very fragile frame. (She was also born with fucked-up fingers, though she has since, through a program of physical therapy involving learning to play the piano, managed to correct this defect.) This didn't faze Billy one bit, he still beat her to no end. For he knew that, despite her pleas to the contrary, the bitch was faking.

Dox

 
His house as seen from Google Street View.
 
Same house. Picture taken November 2, 2011.
 
His daughter, all grown up.

  • Name: William R Adams
  • DOB: Feb 1960
  • Address: 717 Magnolia Street Rockport, TX 78382
  • Personal Phone: (361) 729-3452 (Old landline, current status unconfirmed) "Changed, disconnected or no longer in service" YOU can help by updating this number.
  • Work Phone (Aransas County Courthouse): (361) 790-0138
  • Work Fax (Aransas County Courthouse): (361) 790-0185
  • Work Email [email protected]

Raw divorce data:

127597  ADAMS WILLIAM                   47      HALLIE G                        46      01      02/01/1986      12/13/2007      004     ARANSAS    

Source: http://www.dshs.state.tx.us/vs/marriagedivorce/dindex.shtm

How can YOU help this father of the year?

That's a Paddlin'


Vidya gaems? That's a paddlin'


Apparently he has more in common with them Jappos than he thinks


He may be a Mexican


Another Godless Hippie Heathen (Warning: video contains an asshole)


If he would have just got on the internet, he would have see this
lovely instructional video! By a 16 year old black girl, no less!

See also


External Links

Judge William Adams is part of a series on
Gay Republicans
[NO! CLOSE IT, CLOSE IT!OPEN THE CLOSET!]

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