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Judge William Adams

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Judge William "Bill" "The Judge" Adams (AKA Judge Dredd) is a don't-mess-with-Tex-ass family law judge, but under the robe lies the most monumental redneck sack of shit winner you will ever meet. Hailing from the lovely county of Aransas in South Texas his existence is spent beating his wife and daughter and feasting upon the sandwiches they prepare for him. Make no mistake, while this smarmy fucker doesn't wear a wifebeater and shotguns cans of Bud Light, he is the embodiment of backwoods trash. When he's not busy lying through his teeth about his family life and wasting taxpayers' money on stupid shit he's getting secretly filmed beating the holy fuck out of his disabled furry daughter.

Judge William Adams
Judge William Adams lookin' cute. no homo
Download Kazaa? That's a paddlin'
Details
Description Texas Judge in Aransas County, known for paddlin' internet users.
Classification Progenitor of Butthurt
Virginity Compromised
Fears Kazaa, the internet, youtube, technology, gays
Values God, beating children, sodomy
<video type="youtube" id="etyugRjCkrY&start=42" height="25" width="190" frame="false" />
Links
URL Youtube
That's a paddlin'
   
“ 		 
Get on the stomach or I'm gonna start beatin' you again
  		„
  		 

—Judge William Adams, exercising his second amendment rights like a retard

   
“ 		 
I never got mah lick in on 'er
  		„
  		 

—Judge William Adams, demonstrating his true redneck colors

The Video

 
Damn skippy it is
 
He is the law

Last Thursday the daughter of Billy posted a video to YouTube that was secretly filmed in 2004. The video in question depicts Judge Adams savagely beating his daughter with a belt. From what can be garnered from the video, Hillary is a bit of a video game fan (note the Starfox Adventures and Sonic Adventure 2 posters on the wall) and a computer geek. Judge Adams, being the upstanding, moral individual (read: redneck dumbfuck) he is didn't agree with her downloading that evil rock and roll music and playing those satanic video games and decided to "give her a spanking." Instead of a spanking, he proceeds to beat the living fuck out of her, good ol' boy style. At the time, Hillary was downloading Japanese music and games that were not yet available for legal purchase in the Jewnited States. Not wanting to miss out on the latest episode of the hottest animu Hillary turned to the Internets to satisfy her cravings. Disappointed with his daughter's actions, The Judge then decided he was going to beat some sense into the little shit.

Detecting the incoming justice, Hillary smartly placed her camera on a shelf and covered it, leaving it on "record" mode to capture everything that happened. Seven years later she released the video causing the shitstorm of butthurt taking place today. What was captured is grainy images of The Judge relentlessly manhandling and beating Hillary everywhere on her body, threatening to beat her across the face if she doesn't assume his demanded positions. Hillary's mother, another victim of Billy's abuse, is seen shouting at her and telling her to "take it like a grown woman".

   
“ 		 
Take it like a grown woman!
  		„
  		 

—Wife of Judge William Adams, beating her daughter in fear of the same happening to her


 
Even Judge Judy has a hard time watching good ol' Billy's beating spree.

Hillary originally posted information about the video on Reddit, but the video quickly spread throughout the various tubes. Because Hillary is a gamer, the video gained momentum on the v board on 4chan, as thousands of basement dwellers lifted their flabby arms in outrage that someone could hurt a white, normal looking girl that enjoys vidya. This selective vigilantism then spread to b from there, picking up more supporters along the way. Judge Adams should be preparing his asshole for the oncoming shitstorm created by the mass of nerdrage slowly vibrating towards him with the force of a thousand suns, ED will be following all the way, as lulz will undoubtedly ensue. Hope your career works out buddy! (It should be noted that he is up for re-election on 8 November 2011, just one week after the video was posted. The timing of the video upload is almost certainly intentional, on the part of his daughter, sneaky little rascal.)

It is worth pointing out that Hillary has a disability. She has ataxic cerebral palsy and was born with fucked-up fingers, though she has since, through a program of physical therapy involving learning to play the piano, managed to get 1337 p14n0 skri11z. This didn't faze Billy one bit, however, and he still beat her to no end. For he knew that, despite her pleas to the contrary, the bitch was faking.

 
"The Judge" seen here shopping for fresh meat to pound.
 
Hillary Adams reaction to her dad's new found fame

BREAKING YOUR DAUGHTER NEWS!

Judge Dredd himself has been contacted by a local news outlet. When asked for statement, he said, "It happened years ago.. I apologized." That's right guys, he's truly rehabilitated! His bad! Moreover, he made sure to let us know that, "It's not as bad as it looks on tape," proving that he is truly a reasonable, God fearin' man and we have all blown it out of proportion. So go ahead and pack it up guys, its time to leave him alone. In further interviews, he continues to shrug off any accusations and responsibility, still contending that beating his daughter was completely normal. Taking some quotes from CNN.com:

   
“ 		 
'She's mad because I've ordered her to bring the car back, in a nutshell, but yeah, that's me. I lost my temper,' Adams told the TV station. 'Her mother was there, she wasn't hurt ... it was a long time ago ... I really don't want to get into this right now because as you can see my life's been made very difficult over this child.'
  		„
  		 

—Judge Dredd to KZTV, reminding us its his daughter's fault

   
“ 		 
In my mind I have not done anything wrong other than discipline my child when she was caught stealing. I did lose my temper, I've apologized. It looks worse than it is.
  		„
  		 

—JUJ DURR-ED


What a class act, everybody! More information in the External Links section.

Dox

  • Name: William R Adams
  • DOB: Feb 1960
  • Address: 717 Magnolia Street Rockport, TX 78382
  • Personal Phone: (361) 729-3452 (Old landline, current status unconfirmed) "Changed, disconnected or no longer in service" YOU can help by updating this number.
  • Work Phone (Aransas County Courthouse): (361) 790-0138 (line busy? Feel free to call Aransas County Judge C. H. "Burt" Mills, Jr., 361-790-0100)
  • His account on http://www.fetlife.com is William_Adams and his password is spankie
  • Work Fax (Aransas County Courthouse): (361) 790-0185
  • Work Email: [email protected]

Raw divorce data: 

127597  ADAMS WILLIAM                   47      HALLIE G                        46      01      02/01/1986      12/13/2007      004     ARANSAS

Source: http://www.dshs.state.tx.us/vs/marriagedivorce/dindex.shtm

  •  
    His house as seen from Google Street View.
  •  
    Same house. Picture taken November 2, 2011.
 
His daughter, all grown up.

How can YOU help this father of the year?

Græt success

   
“ 		 
Sheriff Bill Mills said Wednesday that William Adams, a family law judge who handles child abuse cases, has disconnected his phone because of threatening calls and faxes after the video went viral. Mills said Adams told him he did not plan to go to his office at the courthouse Wednesday.
  		„
  		 

— God bless you Anon

Blackmail?

 

When the video went up on Reddit, people immediately started questioning why the furry waited so long to post the video, instead of reporting it immediately to the authorities. She replied back on Reddit saying that she was saving the video until her dad made her mad. He made her mad just recently, so she posted the video in order for the judge to receive the 99%ers and soccer moms' wraths. It's also worth noting that she posted it about a week before his re-election.

That's a Paddlin'


Vidya gaems? That's a paddlin'


Apparently he has more in common with them Jappos than he thinks


Another Godless Hippie Heathen (Warning: video contains an asshole)


Hillary pounding away at the keys like her daddy pounded away at her

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See also


External Links

Judge William Adams is part of a series on
Gay Republicans
[NO! CLOSE IT, CLOSE IT!OPEN THE CLOSET!]

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