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Game of Thrones

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This page contains spoilers — important plot secrets and/or conclusions may be revealed. For example,
HOLY SHIT Joffrey baratheon's father is his uncle, Viserys Targaryen dies, Kal Drogo dies, King Robert Baratheon dies, Ned Stark dies, Renly Baratheon dies and Theon Grayjoy betrays the Starks and captures Winterfell!!!1

Game of Thrones is a long-format pornography that airs Sundays on HBO.

Plot

A metric fuckton of dull characters all around a generic medieval world endlessly drink wine and talk about boring shit nobody but casuals and WoWfags cares about. Then, they all have sex and/or failcest with each other and die while fighting over who gets to be gangbanged. End of rine.

Sean Bean's Ghost

Like in every other movie, television show, video game, or pornography that he has appeared in, Sean Bean dies. He begins the series as the defacto main character before plot twist demanded that he be M Night Shyemiluminium'd to death, thus finally hitting his Diamond Death Jubilee and transcending into Valhalla. Sean Bean's career is essentially the show "1000 Ways to Die" made flesh.

The Imp

This section, like Peter Dinklage, is a stub.

Sexposition

The show's dialogue is so boring and long-winded that writers decided on using sex to keep viewers attention since the fanbase consists of cellar-dwellers, man-children, wiccans, and yaoi-fangirls.

An example scene may go something like this:

  • Jon Snow: Blah blah blah honor of the Night's Watch...
  • Background: Two dudes begin a train on this voluptuous hooker. As the surly armorer removes his helm he jams his powerful rod into the whore's fleshy cage. She moans vigorously as the bulky armorer bends lower to grant a fruity trap entrance to his hairy vortex. The sounds of ball-slapping and ecstasy echo throughout the chamber while the hefty milkmaid feeds goats beyond the window with her massive medieval tits. The man shoots his load as the wench lets out a bellowing scream before he lowers his axe onto her neck. As her head rolls along the floor, the trap finishes and pats the armorer on the back, making some reference to the uselessness of women.
  • Jon Snow: I'm a bastard child...
 


See Also


 

Game of Thrones is part of a series on

Television

Visit the Television Portal for complete coverage.

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