Game of Thrones

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Game of Thrones is a long-format pornography that airs Sundays on HBO based on a series of books that are the very textbook definition of TL;DR.

Plot

A metric fuckton of dull characters all around a generic medieval world endlessly drink wine and talk about boring shit nobody but casuals and WoWfags cares about. Then, they all have sex and/or failcest with each other and die while fighting over who gets to be gangbanged. End of rine.

The series is based on the Song of Ice and Fire novels, which are basically Lord of the Rings with less ambigiously gay midgets, more incest, and random lesbian quickies. In order to understand the subtle diffences, compare Torchwood to Doctor Who, or Mass Effect to Star Trek. You'll notice that actual story is replaced with torture, sex, and gayness.

Sean Bean's Ghost

Like in every other movie, television show, video game, or pornography that he has appeared in, Sean Bean dies. He begins the series as the defacto main character before plot twist demanded that he be M Night Shyemiluminium'd to death, thus finally hitting his Diamond Death Jubilee and transcending into Valhalla. Sean Bean's career is essentially the show "1000 Ways to Die" made flesh. This is because "The Sean Bean Effect" is so armor-piercing it even penetrates 10 layers of Plot Armor.

The Imp

This section, like Peter Dinklage, is too short, and needs Moar Pint-sized Badassery.

But here's a vid of Joffrey gettin' pimpslapped like the bitch-ass Ho he is.

Cracka-lacka   “   Gotta Keep the Pimp Hand Strong.   „

You know you suck when a guy half your size slaps three shades of silly out of you, right in front of your own bodyguard.

Sexposition

The show's dialogue is so boring and long-winded that writers decided on using sex to keep viewers attention since the fanbase consists of cellar-dwellers, man-children, wiccans, and yaoi-fangirls.

An example scene may go something like this:

• Jon Snow: Blah blah blah honor of the Night's Watch...
• Background: Two dudes begin a train on this voluptuous hooker. As the surly armorer removes his helm he jams his powerful rod into the whore's fleshy cage. She moans vigorously as the bulky armorer bends lower to grant a fruity trap entrance to his hairy vortex. The sounds of ball-slapping and ecstasy echo throughout the chamber while the hefty milkmaid feeds goats beyond the window with her massive medieval tits. The man shoots his load as the wench lets out a bellowing scream before he lowers his axe onto her neck. As her head rolls along the floor, the trap finishes and pats the armorer on the back, making some reference to the uselessness of women.
• Jon Snow: I'm a bastard child...

characters

Jon snow: that feels guy but a main character,usually complaining about being a bastard or his whole family dying or some other stupid shit, he also has a wilding lady grind the shit out of him, in season two, and they become fuck buddys, until she trys to attack castle black and dyes,thatfeelwhennogf.jpg

Sansa stark: sees her father beheaded infront of her, and then constantly gets beaten, until she escapes kings landing with little finger, then she gets the shit beaten out of her by lysa arryn when they go to the vale, until little finger sparta kicks that bitch into the moon door, then has sex with little finger who is as old as her mother also sansa is 13.

arrya stark: possible the best character of the series, shes an 11 year old girl whos droppin niggas left and right

See Also

• Skyrim
• Lord of The Rings
• Mordor
• LARPing
• White Knight

Game of Thrones is part of a series on Television Visit the Television Portal for complete coverage.