Actor

An actor is an individual who indulges themselves in real life imaginary drama. Children and women are often actors when testifying in court. Mimes, clowns and improvisers do not consider themselves actors. When you watch a performance from any of them, you will agree. There are three main types of professional actors:

Theatre Actors

An actor from the theatre. Swashbuckling homosexuality!

An actor who specializes in theatre can usually be identified by a lisp, flamboyant dress, inability to sit down, and a distended and/or prolapsed asshole. Typically stuck in the nineteenth century, they tend to be n00bs at teh internets, and fail repeatedly. Theatre involves the live performance on a stage. Considered Old media due to its content, which, among other things, lacks boob shots most of the time. Unlike all other advances in civilization, which were performed with the sole intent of impressing the opposite sex, theatre exists only to impress the same sex.

Film Actors

Typically rich and beautiful, actors whose work appears on the silver screen are slightly less likely to appear on one's gaydar than theatre actors, however, this is still dramatically more than the general population. The overwhelming majority of film actors are shitty at best. A stellar example is Tom Cruise, noted SCIENTOLOGIST and whose pronouncements on psychiatry and mental health truly are an inspiration to the masses. Film stars typically possess large tits, or in the case of male film stars, pectoral implants.

Porn "Stars"

This category of actors probably constitutes the bulk of them. Porn stars are people who pretend to enjoy getting naked, masturbating or having sex on film in return for some form of compensation. Since women do not typically enjoy consensual sex with men -your mom is an exception- many porn stars, as well as wives and girlfriends, are actors. Those who star in snuff, gay and rape porn are not -strictly speaking- actors, because they don't have to fake anything. If someone has been in a movie with a sequel number greater than 10, they qualify to be called a porn "star". People who honestly enjoy having consensual sex on film are called "amateurs".

Tips

• Protip: Calling a politician an actor is good flame bait when in the company of actors; it is tantamount to saying that a black person is a human being at the weekly Ku Klux Klan meeting.
• Acting is serious buisness, if you excel at whoring yourself, you might get an award. [1]

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  Typical actor.
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  Typical lesbian actor.
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  Some theatrical homosexuals take a break.
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  Actors often moonlight as pixellated pugilists.

See Also

• Adolf Hitler
• Yokeup
• Belladonna
• Cdaae
• Celebrity
• Hugh Jackman Can Ride Anything
• Jameth
• Patrick Stewart
• Sacha Baron Cohen
• Sasha Grey
• Will Smith

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