BAHDUM TISH

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Let’s say you are new to a community on the internet. You don’t know many people on the forum and you feel rather isolated in the community’s chat room because it is overwhelmingly big. What do you do to fit in? You use humor to connect with your new community’s contemporaries. And what better way to use your humor than to tell jokes? Everybody knows that jocularities, barbs, and informal witticisms are the best way to win new friends. But who needs shitty friends when you could have FANS? The best way to do this is to end your jokes with BADUM-TISH!

Description

BAHDUM TISH! (also known as bah-dum-tis, drum-roll, and rimshot!) is onomatopoeia for the quick roll on a snare drum followed by a crash cymbal being hit and then quickly muted. It also happens to be the number one way to make yourself more hip and more internet-powerful than anybody around you.BAHDUM TISH

Usage

Whenever you tell a joke on a forum or during chats, make sure you use BAHDUM TISH! whenever possible. It will make you seem more trendy, fashionable, and by far, more hilarious than everybody else.BAHDUM TISH

Examples

Please add your own favorite one-liners, barbs, gaffes, and wisecracks below BAHDUM TISH:

1. A man comes home and finds his wife in bed with another man. "What the hell are you two doing?" He screams. "See, I told you he was stupid," says the wife to the other man. BAHDUM TISH!

2. Why do we bake cookies and cook bacon? BAHDUM TISH!

3. What do you call a video of pedestrians? Footage. BAHDUM TISH!

4. What's Mary short for? She's got no legs. BAHDUM TISH!

5. I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative. BAHDUM TISH!

6. I got some new underwear yesterday. Well, it was new to me. BAHDUM TISH!

7. There is no "I" in "Team", but there are four in "Platitude-Quoting Idiot". BAHDUM TISH!

8. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was, she said if she told me it would defeat the purpose. BAHDUM TISH!

9. Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims? BAHDUM TISH!

10. If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes"? BAHDUM TISH!

11. Don't get married, find a woman you hate and buy her a house. It's a lot easier on you. BAHDUM TISH!

12. Alzheimer's advantage: New friends every day! BAHDUM TISH!

13. They call it PMS because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken. BAHDUM TISH!

14. Nurse: "Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office". Doctor: "Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in."BAHDUM TISH!

15. What do you call an anorexic chick with yeast infection??? Quarter pound with cheese BAHDUM TISH!

16. If you rape a prostitute, is it really rape or is it shoplifting? BAHDUM TISH!

17. What would you call Fred Flintstone if he was black? A nigger! BAHDUM TISH!

18. What's the best part of having sex with a 12 year old girl in the shower? If you pull her hair back she looks like an 8 year old girl! BAHDUM TISH!

19. Why don't Muslim's eat at McDonalds? 'Cause the burkas are better at Hungry Jacks! BAHDUM TISH!

20. What do massage therapists eat for dinner? SPA-Ghetti! BAHDUM TISH!

21. What does aperson say when they turn 21? well now I can drive drunk in a RENTAl car!BAHDUM TISH!

22. A priest, homosexual, and pedophile walks into a bar. He orders a drink.BAHDUM TISH!

BAHDUM TISH!

NOT AN EXAMPLE

The exact opposite of BAHDUM TISH

Variations

These will all work in the same manner as BAHDUM TISH!

BAH DUM TISH
BUHDUM TISH
BAHDUMTISSSSS
RIMSHOT! (not to be confused with Rimjob)

Video

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External links

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BAHDUM TISH is part of a series on Language & Communication

Languages and Dialects • Grammar, Punctuation, Spelling, Style, and Usage • Rhetorical Strategies • Poetry • The Politics of Language and Communication • Media • Visual Rhetoric
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