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Candwich

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
This is an old revision of this page, as edited by imported>Leanne at 07:00, 17 June 2014. It may differ significantly from the current revision.
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The brilliant marketing and research department at markonefoods spent millions beyond millions of dollars trying to develop the next food of the 21st century and after years of painstaking work, they came up with the cutting edge Candwich. The sandwich in a can with a CANDY SURPISE!!1 inside.

BBQ Candiwch is definitely the best selling item on the Candwich line.

Development

Scientists from around the world were recruited by the most powerful men in the world to develop a long lasting product that could be eaten in a bomb shelter had a nuclear war started. The president called upon Markonefoods to make a delicious substance that would have a long shelf life, preferably fried chicken or BBQ chicken, maybe grape soda with possibly a watermelon candy surprise. To reach the requests of our lord and savior, the scientists had come up with the most delectable piece of food known to man with a shelf life of over nine thousand mother fucking years. The scientists had made a combination of all three of the presidents preferences: fried chicken, watermelon, AND grape soda and thus made the BBQ chicken candwich.

   
 
We at the research and development department have made the next best thing since the hotpocket. The BBQ chicken, unlike the PBJ candwich, this was custom made for the president. The can resembling the Grape Soda and the BBQ chicken resembling the chicken he dearly wanted.
 

 
 

—Scientists

When we asked what resembles the desired watermelon candy surprise, they said

   
 
We are not authorized to tell you what the surprise is because then it wouldn't be a fucking surprise
 

 
 

—Scientists

New Candwich!!!11one

Upcoming flavors include

  • Peperoni Pizza
  • BBQ Beef
  • French Toast
  • Cinnamon Roll w/ Chocolate Sauce

Others in the making include

  • Biscuits and Gravy
  • Chicken Enchilada

See Also

External Links

 
Candwich
is part of a series on
Food and Drink

[BleurghOm Nom Nom]