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BG Kumbi

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Early Life

 

BG Kumbi (Kumbi for short) started out as a nerd in high school, whom no one liked. In his videos, he often talks about how he was bullied, picked on, and even sexually harassed in high school, especially during his Frenchman years. Yes, our poor Kumbi lived a hard life. But by the time grade 11 hit, things started to change. The tables started to turn. Everything horrible that Kumbi suffered would be put behind him. He began venturing into the mountains of his back yard daily, where he would cut down a tree with an axe, then haul it back to his house using nothing but what the gods gifted him, his natural strength. This made his strength visible, sculpting his body into the gorgeous marvel it is today. Kumbi became... Big Guns Kumbi. On his first day of grade 11, he went up to the football team linebacker who was six feet and seven inches tall, but Kumbi wasn't afraid. He looked the goon in the eye and said "They call me Big Guns Kumbi, just so you know. I run things around here now, you got that, little girl?" He laughed in Kumbi's face, but unfortunately for him, that was the day Kumbi decided to stop taking crap from people. He punched the linebacker right in the gut, and the linebacker collapsed and later on, Kumbi stole his girl. One day, Kumbi was surfing the Internet, which is not a common practice for him, being so devoted to his hard and brutal training. On the video site YouTube, he discovered a channel called Pewdiepie.




The War on Pewdiepie

Our good friend BG Kumbi hated this Pewdiepie from the moment he first watched him scream in front of a camera. He knew from that moment on, that he must rid the Internet of Pewdiepie. He joined forces with the powerful hacker known as Dillon, or to the common folk, Dillon the Hacker. Accompanying them was the greatest bard the world has ever known, 3pac, who writes powerful songs about the great endeavors of Dillon and Kumbi. Kumbi can be quoted as saying "I'm more muscular than Pewdiepie! Pewdiepie is a light weight!" These wise words strongly express true reasons as to why we should follow Kumbi, and not Pewdiepie. Pewdiepie's infectious army, eye-rollingly known as The Bro Army, have spent days and nights fully devoted to posting rage comments on Kumbi's videos. Kumbi, being such a formidable man, and having the best allies he could ever hope for (Dillon and 3pac), has continued to fight on, never yielding to the blight known as The Bro Army. Pewdiepie still has yet to face Kumbi himself, and has continued to cower behind his army of children.


The War on 4chan

Kumbi, being the fearsome warrior he is, had bolder aspirations than simply warring a world-renowned YouTuber. He decided to wage war on the Internet community of mouth-breathers, lickspittles, virgins, and autistics known throughout cyberspace as 4chan. Our good friend Kumbi once came very close to yielding. His strength was proving unworthy to defeat such a hellish army of degenerates. They did horrible, unspeakable things to poor Kumbi, such as send pizzas to his house, send threatening messages to his phone, and bully him over the Internet, you know, stuff that real tough guys do. These were desperate times in his war on 4chan. But our good friend Kumbi survived, and his strength still holds. The brains of the operation, Dillon the Hacker, has helped deter such a threat, and the great trio of BG Kumbi, Dillon the Hacker, and 3pac have prevailed, and continue to fight this aggressive war. To this day, the war goes on, and 4chan's forces tremble and soil themselves at the very mention of Kumbi's name, as is to be expected. Once Kumbi's wroth is upon you, there's no escaping it.

 

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