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Drudge Report
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Like The Daily Puppy but to the reverse, The Drudge Report, is a conservative troll site run by semi-closeted conservative homosexual Matt DrudgeJew.✡
As well as showcasing shock images of scary liberals, the site also contains valuable information marked in red, not to confuse the average IQ viewer, with outrageous claims such as "over 9000 aborted babies in China every DAY!". When the information is this valuable it is usually presented in ALL CAPS.
Matt DrudgeJew is most famous for exposing the Monica Lewinsky story, and for just being an all-around dickbag. Mostly, Drudge simply leaks rumors and half-facts, always with a conservative Republican angle. More of an attention whore than a political tool like Rush Limbaugh, Drudge just wants people to notice him and buy high-cholesterol diet scheme ads from his site.
The Drudge Report website is not so much a website as it is a Geocities page. A big mess of text links, bold fonts, AP culled photos, that only accidentally includes worthy news. His skills with HTML have been likened to those of a cat, and his site is a close approximation of what most 16-year-old girls' websites would look like if not for Instagram. Rarely does Drudge post proper links to recognized news sources, and prefers instead to post vague semi-bombshells without really giving sources or further info. He is also heavily self-aggrandizing, as evidenced by his hit counter (which is doubtlessly 46% neo-conservative dittoheads, 50% people like the author who are mocking him, and 4% furries waiting for him to come out of the closet) and a link to the Drudge Reference Desk, which is actually an independent site in which he is not involved and which is probably mildly allergic to him.
Use in drama
Matt Drudge is now used as a source for more spectacularly unevolved conservatives (i.e. all of them) to prove points in lame internet debates. Usually used to support a one-liner, as follows:
- Doltasaur: HILARY CLINTON DID VIETNAM
- Skeptic: Get back in your corner.
- Doltasaur NO FOR REAL LOOK HERE ITS FOR REAL
- Skeptic: Get back in your corner.
It is only a matter of time before a permutation of Godwin's Law is made for Matt Drudge.
Drudge
Matt DrudgeJew is well known among liberals for having attempted to assassinate Bill Clinton at least 100 times so that he'd finally have some credibility among conservatives. His sheer ineptitude led him to fail every time, usually resulting in furry rape, arrest or both. He later attempted to fellate Clinton in hopes for creating his first real news story, but confused Clinton with a toad and contracted herpes instead. He now simply throws cinder blocks at squirrels in hopes of being arrested and therefore being newsworthy. It hasn't worked.
Trivia
- Ann Coulter is Matt Drudges' real life butt buddy and good friend.
- In his neighborhood they call him "La Loca."
- Wears a size 6 shoe.
- A distant relative of gay king Edward II of England.
- 2001 Golden Elephant Award for most fashionable male Republicunt.
- Was expelled from the Fox News Channel for wearing pink trousers.
- Is officially shit nobody cares about ever since Bill Clinton left office.
See Also
External link
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Drudge Report is part of a series on Fox News [Over To You] |
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| Drudge Report is part of a series on Gay Republicans [OPEN THE CLOSET!]
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Drudge Report is part of a series on Visit the Sites Portal for complete coverage. |
