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Critter
A critter, denizen of Wild Critters is what a group of 15 people and 1 rape victim who congregate on a shitty IRC channel call a chibi, or something akin to a loli version of a furry, by certain proportions but still may lead to "extremely cute yiff". Please note that a critter does not need to be based on actual IRL animals, but more a random thing with eyes, ears, atrophied members, and an abscence of a neck, which may be the result of a genetic disease due to the amount of inbreeds amongst these species. Somehow they remain cute for some reason. It should be noted that a critter is anything.
It's typically born from a childhood of isolation, a love of cuddly things in the ire of Tails, Klonoa, Pikachu, and generally even having the most liberally void compromise between cutesy and fitness is not tolerated. Somehow, in spite of characters on any reasonable fitness level being puckered off as pig disgusting it's fine to have so many folds of fat it eclipses your head at least 5-6 times.
Many Pokemon, short furries, and otherwise cutesy things are shoehorned into this neanderthal populated sub genre. Be warned, if you're feeling as though the promised land is upon you and you happened upon your bankai by stumbling into this page, ready to take the plunge into an even headier mist of foggy shit from your usual furry escapades or want to become one now you know people like what you do, we're out for you. I'm a lv 50 black wizard.
A few popular examples: Klonoa, Pikachu, Gizmo from the Gremlins, Kirby, Brian Peppers, Vegeta, and everything (especially full anthros) may fall into these categories.
Wild Critters
The website wildcritters claims to be best viewed with FireFox 3 (because furries like foxes), indicating that you'll save your sanity when the damn thing crashes due to the way the site is actually managed.
The whole site appears to be all innocence and light, catering mainly towards the plushy crowd, further reinforced by the light pastel colors and wapanese-style icons. But you suddenly, expectedly, stray into vore territory. Completely disturbing when it's surrouned by "cute" pictures of rabbits and foxes. Or whatever the hell - RECORD SCRATCH.
Wild Critters derives its true body horror from the lulzy and utterly retarded users. The IRC is highly dominated by morons who self admit the boring atmosphere and stale personalities which inhibit the site, and one guy called Momiji who supposedly hacks - HACKED you if you cross the line. Former figures were Tommencloose, notably only for looking like an old man and having an old man avatar, and Tehweenus/ChunInUndies, some anorexic 20 year old person who manipulated him while speaking crap about the moron behind his back and tried to get pictures of my shit in a bowl. You think I'm kidding?
Some more famous monumental cultural landmarks of the WC IRC to the right - I couldn't decide on a caption between the two.
One particular user who was a troll tried to report the site to tektonic.net, its hosting company. This plan failed through though, as he called them stupid niggers who couldn't read in the same message because they haven't closed it down in spite of the anti cub laws in the US. Don't ask me how I know.
The same user is probably going to try a mass purge involving Iwata and Shigeru Miyamoto, and AGNPH and a reporting scheme.
Trolling Wild NaziCritters
Trolling is best done covert, and in a way that you blend in. When trolling in large numbers you only give them a reason to feed their usual paranoia they're going to be attacked, so start off with a discussion. It could be about anything from pie to black persons to Iron Maiden and it'll usually catch on and make them giggle like giddy fat girls being offered the last twinkie by their pedophile boyfriend. The place is ran by Tidus from FFX and some creepy guy who has a beard and looks 70 years old, but more than anything they absolutely hate popularity, like the emogoths they are. The place is also ran and moderated by a hacker called Momiji and his moronic fuckbuddy, himself a recolor Pikachu who fantasizes about cocks eating people and spitting them out as cum.
Always come on a proxy, in fear that a resident hacker will pull a fast one. DDoSing is fully recommended, especially if you are Otts and have 16 computer and 20 accounts. But like 90% of the contributors to this page you likely are a closet furry, and there's a reason Agnph hasn't been brought down in its 20 odd years of functionality (it's because furries are bad at everything). Come now. I will still however ponder buying you a drink if you brought it down with reckless abaddon, plastering black girls being fucked left and right and bangbros all over the gallery and loud heavy metal in the background.
General Rules
It's still incredible to see a non-human erotica site with - THEY SEE ME ROLLIN', THEY HATIN', THEY ROLLIN' AND TRYING TO CATCH ME RIDING DIRTY
So, the following content is generally forbidden at Wild Critters:
- Anthropomorphic characters, they look too human, so - 1. Tits, because they're actually hot and invoke a boner.
- Henry Rollins, even drawn in a - 2. Pussy, because generally pussy is attached to things you can fuck and this is actually a psychotic evil cult dedicated to a World of Warcraft player.
- Buckets and Diesel locomotives ares also part of the 3. Hot, girl ass. You won't see non furred catgirls with beautiful asses you want to fuck all night drawn here, nor real life woman in bunny suits.
- Guro (Pictures of critters being severely hurt, bleeding, or killed- 4. Furries, you cannot post scenes of them actually having fun and being in peace unless you're a severely retarded moron who was raped as a kid, like 3trees, one of their artists claims he was every second.
- Claiming you weren't raped as a kid, not doing this every five seconds within the IRC channel is a case of doing it wrong and is punishable by execution.
Thank you mom for telling me that, its not as though I was going to bombard and parade the site with guro if I use encyclopedia dramatica. Thats nothing any off the wall lunatic who browses this site would attempt. Way too evil.
Hold F11 on your browser NOW to emulate 3trees childhood
- [00:57] <Killua> Confuzzled beyond belief.
- [00:57] <`3trees> hold up
- [01:00] <`3trees> okay
- [01:00] <`3trees> it was confusing and scary
- [01:00] <`3trees> to be wanted in a way you didnt understand
- [01:00] <`3trees> i swore i would never do that to anyone
- [01:01] <`3trees> except i didnt know anything about sex at the time, aside from that
- [01:01] <`3trees> so when i hit puberty, natural feelings had no idea where to go
- [01:01] <`3trees> you cant supress them
- [01:01] <`3trees> i had this idea that women wouldnt want to have sex with me, because i was unpopular
- [01:02] <`3trees> and i didnt want to force it on them and be like my grandfather
- [01:02] <`3trees> i was terrified of the prospect of sex
- [01:02] <`3trees> but those feelings have to go somewhere
- [01:02] <`3trees> kemono stuff was cute and also sexual
- [01:03] <`3trees> and there was no impetus to actually perform the act with someone
- [01:03] <`3trees> the characters were made for sex, it was their purpose
- [01:03] <`3trees> so it was okay
- [01:03] <`3trees> it is a long explanation i know, but its a complicated issue
- [01:07] <`3trees> okay im going to dinner with a friend, be back later
- [22:57] <Killua> It wasn't a very long or complicated explanation, and its understandable enough; what you said yesterday, btw. But now I look at it, theres nothing about it which directly correlates the horror of being raped as a kid with your sexual preferrences.
- [22:58] <Killua> I can only fathom that your supposed psychiatric scarring is an arbitrarily self imposed fiction - even if the experience itself was real and scary at the time - to explain your otherwise niche interests as normal, although normality is not a requirement for an interest to be healthy.
- [22:58] <Killua> Unless you can provide a more direct reason that supports the basis that, 'sex with an adult against my will as a kid made me get into kemono porn,' implies.
- [22:59] <Killua> I'm still curious since that is what you implied.
- [22:59] <Killua> Kind of.
- [23:18] <`3trees> back
- [23:18] <`3trees> this is.. a problem of communication i think
- [23:18] <`3trees> sexual preference is something that develops over a long time
- [23:19] <`3trees> i believe it is almost entirely dependant on your environment
- [23:21] <`3trees> in this case, the environment i developed in was one in which 1) i felt guilty for having urges 2) i was afraid of sexual encounters 3) my parents were incredibly anti-sex, so much that i wasnt allowed to use the internet freely until high school
- [23:21] <`3trees> i wasnt allowed to watch movies with nudity, etc
- [23:35] <Killua> Hey thats different than my mom when I was 15 who'd just bitch at me for leaving a giant penis or a titfuck vid on the screen looped so she sees it when she comes in to clean in the night.
- [23:36] <Killua> Yeah but how does the encounter relate to your sexuality?
- [23:36] <Killua> That sounds more like general pent up urges, nothing to do with your sodomy.
- [23:37] <`3trees> the encounter made me afraid of sex, and of adults
- [23:37] <`3trees> especially sex with adults
- [23:37] <`3trees> even when i became an adult
- [23:37] <`3trees> and generally of people also
- [23:38] <`3trees> to have sex someone is to show them your most intimate side
- [23:38] <`3trees> this i can never do
- [23:43] <Killua> Hmmm.
- [23:44] <Killua> Eh I see; so you turned to kemono stuff as it was the least human aspect of sex.
- [23:44] <Killua> Understandable.
- [23:44] <Killua> I see.
- [23:44] <Killua> Sorry if I touched on sensitive aspects there.
- [23:44] <Killua> I was just curious.
- [23:44] <`3trees> nah
- [23:45] <Killua> You're pretty open.
- [23:45] <Killua> Thats cool; it means if I'm curious on something it isn't considered stigmatic to ask.
- [23:45] <Killua> Many, ahem, rape victims are horribly defensive.
- [23:45] <Killua> Understandably, I add.
- [23:49] <`3trees> yeah
- [23:49] <`3trees> i hate that
- [23:49] <`3trees> i knew someone who was raped when they were a kid
- [23:49] <`3trees> they used it like a badge
- [23:49] <`3trees> like "look at me and feel sorry for me"
- [23:50] <`3trees> one time i got tired of it and said something and she was like how can you be so insensitive
- [23:50] <`3trees> i almost told her what happened to me
- [23:51] <`3trees> but ive realized its not something you should just go spreading around
Aftermath
After this page was created in a distant land far away shortly beyond the previously thought fruitless attempt to get it shut down by some baby eating superhero, Sieg, hosts were changed and the current admin stepped down from rulership, says inside sources. (It was 3trees, he has autism of course he told the person who put the above up grudgelessly) It can be concluded that now, it is no longer ran by Tidus from FFX and is instead spearheaded with a somewhat more liberal membership scheme. Now free of someone who associates with Broken Wing as its admin, aka Tehweenus, fat art, scat and shitting people out as cum through your dick are henceforth more minimal features of this site. The version of Tidus in command, aka Tommencloose or something was also a robotic old man version of him from the future of FFX, as is evident from his either previous or current avatar of an old man with a beard.
Presently circulating evidence would give dickheads like the person responsible for this even less reason to really give a shit about scouting for information by himself, by thoroughly notifying us of the selling plan. It would seem the changed administration isn't so rigid, and the continued ejaculation over the members' dignity hopes to steadily maintain itself. When jesus can be assed he'll probably go over there and make it worse.
Thus, it can be concluded that, although it is still a circle jerk of rejected agnph members and sick fucks who beat off to Gatomon, if you're homosexual enough to get a hard on over some of the crap serialized or copypasta'ed here you can masturbate without looking at some old man with a beard. If you have the ridiculous mind required to enjoy this stuff, the place is less of a complete troll ground and more just a comedic minority.
I was responsible for everything that went wrong there. It was all Sieg's fault. Every last bit of it was his fault and that fucking Gym Tonic video's. The end of Episode I. Fuck you.
WildCritters Today
Today, Wildcritters is split up into two sites for whatever reason. Both having different domains, .ws and .net. Their communities hate one another despite the fact that the content on both sites are mostly similar. There's hardly a difference other than the .ws site has Pawsie and piss, while .net has more actual critters and Pawsie is banned there.
Huggable Critters
- Pi/ka/chu
- Kirby
- Hamtaro
- Meru
- Bin Laden
- Klonoa
- Behemoth
- Sonichu
- Sazh Katsroy
- Brian Peppers
- Nappa
- Vesuro
- Everyone
- Noone
- 3trees
- Sieg Cabbit
- Zangoose
- Digger
Notable critters
- Pawsie - Also known as Spike, ruler of wildcritters.ws
- Niko Espeon
- Collision Cat
- Kelenius
- Otts - aka Tricksta/Baginazard on FA, best known for drawing cub scat porn. Both him and his art are banned on .net
- AJ - One of the figureheads of wildcritters.net
- Assimilation
- Dunkinbean
- Lendono
- Batabii
- Lando
Cuddly wuddly is how we like 'em ^^
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WTF! wheres your childhood now -
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he didn't see it coming. -
Pedo Pandas on Parade
Links
- Wild Critters - A Website for crittards - including crittard (fat) porn, drawing board, forums and chatrooms (for the sex generally)
- Wild Critters - A Website for furrtards - including furrtard (piss) porn, forums and chatrooms (for the sex generally)
See Also
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Critter is part of a series on Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage. |