Mike-the-cat
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This person has Assburgers Syndrome, so you can't say anything bad! :-( Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck. |
Mike-the-Cat is an autistic furfag and contarded tartlet who has too high of an opinion of himself. Mike is a Mormon fundamentalist who takes his religion in jeebuz super seriously. Like every good Mormon, Mike believes that he will be awarded 72 virgins from Elohim and have endless sex with his spirit wives. To prove his worth Mike nobly fights his one man army against the gay agenda who want to usher in a Gay Reich and force good Christfags like him to bake gay weeding cakes in concentration camps. Mike's slight obsession with homosexuality is because he's secretly gay and to continues to deny his lust for juicy cocks by violently lashing out at faggots. Mike is also an expert in biology and psychology, getting his info from legit sauces like Glenn Beck and National Review which are the only sources not to be taken over by the liberal-Communist-Socialist-Atheist-Satanist-reptilian-lizard-men who have taken over the media. Mike plans to detail his struggles against the liberal owned media in a future book: Mein Kampf.
And before we begin let us just put this little selfie just to give you a genera idea of what you're in for.
His "Art"
At the start of his DA career Mike gave us all his enlightened opinion in the form of well drawn political cartoons. Take a gander at these fine master pieces. Truly beautiful! Works of art! Masterpieces!
To give him credit the asspie did improve eventually to draw something OTHER than fucking stick figures.
Absence on DA and transformation into edgelord.
Sometime around 2014 the furfag left DA for a time to do missionary work for the Mormons. In the Mormon faith they believe that black people are really just lazy niggers who stood by and did nothing while Satan was having anal sex with Jeezus. So really not that much different than from real life. Because of this god punished them by making their skin a disgusting brown color (melanin is a lie told by the liberal media and biased scientists also in on the gay agenda). However like how the Mormons latter back-pedaled on Polygamy after they realized no women outside of their wanted to actually fuck them on their own they later changed their stance on the niggers. Now as an apology they send two of their strapping young men to Africa (totally not gay) to fully submit their anuses to big black cocks. After losing his virginity in constant orgies of black cocks and guzzling cum from the Bukkakes Mike would never be the same. He came back to DA much more angrier and determined to fight the gay agenda which leads to our next point.
The Gaystopo
One of the reasons Mike fights the gay agenda so hard besides him being a closet homo himself who secretly craves cock and a semen milkshake is that the Gay Reich itself brutally raeped this sorry excuse for a human being. A dramatic drawing of the aftermath of the events was luckily provided to us by Mike
We are still unsure what exactly took place but psychologists theorize that Mike attracted the attention of the Gay Agenda's paramilitary force: The Gaystopo. Gay stormtroopers burst in his room wearing nothing but their jackboots, Hugo Boss designer clothes, and a thong instead of pants.
For several hours Mike was subjected to a non-stop gangbang where his anus was made the personal cumdumpster of the Gaystopo, widening his asshole to a an astonishing 45 centimeters. Featured on the right as aforementioned is the end result of this brutal of fuckfest. Ever since this traumatic incident Mike has gone on the war path against the evil-satanic-homo-demon-commie-socialists inspired by local folk hero Glenn Beck. Another fascinating thing about Mike is he claims be against the persecution complex, yet seems to think that the Mormons faced trials as bad as the Kikes during the Lollercaust.
That's right. No one will know persecution like the Mormons. Bringham Young with his 55 or so wives was simply leading a peaceful religion and not a cult and was a persecuted minority. And Joseph Smith's story of finding ancient tablets that only he was able to read totally does not raise suspicion. The U.S government was persecuting a poor religious minority, not some cult based around fucking hoes. And what have those faggots have to complain about? "Most sodomy related laws in Western civilization originated from the growth of Christianity during Late Antiquity." Just some laws made by his fellow christfags. But don't forget! Christfags are the one who are persecuted by the homos! Not the other way around. In what is perhaps an astonishing feat Mike is even more of a faggot then the actual faggots.
Attack of the Trannies
However out of all the faggots trannies get a special target on Mike's hit list. Mike claims that he thinks they suffer from a mental disease (like all LGBT and homos) but the truth is the leader of the gaystopo was a tranny with a full foot long dick that made him its bitch during the raid. Ever since Mike has now waged his personal war against them. The autistic faggot then went to rage about his enlightened, sophisticated opinion in the most logical way possible: MEMES! The furfag tried to use shitty memes to justify his point. However then the liberal shills who were the minions of the gaystopo came along. The gaystopo came and did the most horrible thing to Mike: give facts! What this resulted in was the tard hiding the comments after having his anus rekt. Instead of manning up and admitting he was had, as the egotistical narcissist that he is he tried to hide the comments from his own butthurt. To quote him why no one else had their comments hidden it is because no one else did the cyber equivalent of shoving their cock up your ass and making you their bitch.
Dangerous Place
Mike likes to think of himself as a crusher of SJW cucks (cuck is racist :[ ) despite the fact he is about as easily triggered as they are if not more. Well one day he decided to be more autstic then usual and in a stunning event that still baffles scienitsts to this way managed to be more edgy then he usually was and made his dangerous place. Not seeing the irony he was mocked by both the tartlets of DA but also those on Dumblr which is a sad day when even Tumblr mocks you for needing a safe space. This ended up with Mike apologizing profusely for being a failed abortion even though this was basically shit no one cares about. The good people of the internet have not forgot about event nor will they probably let it pass.
Child Slaves
Mike decided to grace the internet with something we all wanted: his unasked for opinions and his smart economic theories. A little known fact is that Mike unlike those godless anarcho-commies is a god fear anarcho-capitalist which is no way similar. However what started this little shit storm was the below.
Yes in all his wisdom Mike thinks that Child Labour laws were in fact were detrimental to Western Culture and civilization and the work ethic since those god damned kids are just being lazy instead of being forced to work in those coal mines.And before you think this was a one off thing he fully commits to the idea that getting rid of workers rights, specifically those involving children will solve all our problems. Didn't take long for an all out war to begin. Among the combatants where ACR and Procrastinating Shill but they were but shitlibs so they did not stand a chance. However it would seem something more terrible was waiting in for Mike. The gaystopo lead by the Nazbol gang
was back for round two and this time it was everyone's favorite coffe: Mocha and it just so happened Mike's anus pussi is her favorite cock holster. What ensued by a beat down that will be told throughout the lands and will be known as the great raping of ancapistan.
On one side was a Nazbol girl arguing in favor of not being a total dumbass and the other the ancap furfag who in favor of making sure that children can know the hard work and dedication of working at minimum wage at McDonalds or a coal mine.As expected it was over relativity quickly with Mike trying again and again to argue that child labor laws in fact do more harm then good to children and society and yes he actually did try to this unironically. Eventually it ended after Mocha finished raping and splooging into his anus causing Mike to block her and cry how much of a meanie she was. He then went on to try and claim that India passing new restrictions on child labour only makes things worse and that child labour laws actually make child labour more common. Yes someone this retarded actually does exist. He also gave us great quotes such as this:
Since made kids work in textile mills and coal mines in the past we should do so again
And every child labor law is just more of those dastardly SJWs virtue signalling. As you can tell Mike is pissy at his lack of child labourers and sex slaves.
The Edge Lord and Cuck
In addition to the above Mikey has a horrible secret that despite calling himself a constitutional-libertarian-conservative he may perhaps be one of the biggest cucks and edge lords. For starters Mike himself claims that he is an unironic edge lord. Srsly. This kid is the trope "trying to hard to be edgy" personified. While he thinks it makes him seem like a tough conservative badass compared to liberal cry babies how easy it is to hurt his feelings and how much an autist he is just makes him as much a lolcow as your run of the mill SJW. For example despite claiming that he does not care about your feelings and that he operates a dangerous place (be ware the cringe) he's surprisingly easy to fuck with and make him go into an autistic tempertantrum and rage for us all to lol at. He takes his pride in Mormon Jesus super cereal and any criticism of it is BIGOTED!!!!!! The irony of him claiming others to be a bigot after he acts like one is lost on him. Here are some ways to fuck with Mike.
- Mention that Niggers were cursed by Elohim and thus his religion is racist.
- Say that Freedom of Association would mean that people could deny him based on not liking his religious beliefs.
- Write a smut fanfic involving Jesus X Mohammed.
- Inquire how his magic Mormon underwear is working out for him.
- Link the shitty video below
- Make note that his bitching about moral values is the same thing SJWs do.
- Note that using the Bible or religion as an argument is nothing more than a fancier version of "muh feelings." Proceed to tell him we do not care about his fee-fees.
- Link this other shitty video below.
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Mike-the-cat is part of a series on Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
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Mike-the-cat is part of a series on Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
