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Labyrinth

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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File:Labrinth.jpg

Labrinth is probably the greatest thing to happen in the 1980s other than Big hair Our future god emperor appearing in the WWF, rumours that George Michael was straight and the Japanese invasion of cheap steel, electronics and Animu.

More fanfics exist, containing Mary Sues and David Bowie's character of Jareth than there are fanfics of Jesus and Mary Magdaline from the early days of Christianity to the present.

Surprisingly, the movie still holds up well being 30 or more years old and it is probably the second best thing David Bowie is known for to trendy fuckers right after Space Oddity or Major Tom to the Trendy Fucker currently reading this.

Plot

File:Labrinth bowie.jpg
So gay. Or not gay enough

As with most Lucas films, the plot is quite simple, having cute characters and a goal to chase after for 120 minutes.

Sarah, the main character of the movie, is a Midlevel Cosplayer. Because she is like you and has no friends or hope of friends in the near future her Father and Evil Step Mother expect her to watch her half-brother for free.

During one of her half-brother, Toby's crying fits Sarah tells him a story about wishing him away to the Goblin King. It's when the goblins hiding in the wall repeat the proper spell of, "I wish the Goblin King would come take you away," that she hears it and repeats it.

Being a 14-year-old girl Sarah instantly regrets what she did and begs the Goblin King, who has been wanting to toilet cam shots of her, to return Toby.

Stuck with the misfortune of being in the room with a loli and having Bowie Bulge, Jareth relents but he will only give Toby back only if Sarah can navigate his labrinth in 13 hours, thus beginning the 2 hour chase to the credits.