In Soviet Russia...

... articles read YOU!!

The Russian reversal is a form of unfunny shit joke that you can expect from any sentence starting with the phrase "In Soviet Russia..." These jokes are always a lame reverse of something considered normal and end in "YOU!!". These jokes were made popular when Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane famously couldn't come up with a good enough joke related to 1980s pop culture and had to make a crap reference to crap Soviet refugee comedian Yakov Smirnoff, who is the biggest drawing act in Branson, Missouri.

Original

The original jokes were all Orwellian, so they actually made sense as jokes:

"In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, party can always find you!"
"In America, you listen to man on radio. In Soviet Russia, man on radio listen to you!"
"In America, you watch television. In Soviet Russia, television watches you!"

Top-notch stuff, amirite?

The later variations by permanoobs on the internets are all unfunny reversals of every garbage sentence.

Examples

Classic: In Soviet Russia, TV watches YOU!!
TL;DR: In Soviet Russia, furry points and laughs at the idiotic sick fuckery that is enjoyed IRL by YOU!!
Unfunny nerd: In Soviet Russia, function calculate derivative of YOU!!
GNAA: In Soviet Russia, WTC DID JEWS!!
Other language: In Soviet Russia, 禽流感得到 YOU!!
An Hero: In Soviet Russia, iPod steal YOU!!
Runescape: In Soviet Runescape, noob gives money to YOU!!
Shitty Music: In Soviet Russia, Soulja Boy crank YOOOOUUUUU!
Verbose: In the Russian Soviet Federative Socialist Republic, a declarative statement or action which one would find archetypal is often redirected so that the protagonist of said statement or action is instead the target of the aforementioned statement or action.
Touhou: In Soviet Gensokyo, bullets dodge YOU!!

Others

In Soviet Russia, Olympics torch lights you up!
In Soviet Russia, Bitcoin mines you!
In Soviet Russia, cock beats YOU!!!
In Soviet Russia, car steals Nigger
In Canadia, Milk comes in bags. In Soviet Russia, Bugs cum in Milk!
In Soviet Russia, immigrants deport YOU!
In Soviet Russia, fleshlight accidentally YOU!
In Soviet Russia, Mudkipz liek YOU!!
In Soviet Russia, choppa get in YOU!!
In Soviet Russia, lazer charges YOU!
In Soviet Russia, lion gets in -- JESUS CHRIST IT'S A CAR GET IN THE LION!!!
In Soviet Russia, cock sucks Fallout Boy! (Note that even though it doesn't end with YOU!!, it still gives the ghey old feeling.)
In Soviet Russia, lulz did it for YOU!
In Soviet Russia, 1) Profit! 2) ???? 3) YOU!!
In Soviet Russia, cheezburger can haz YOU!
In Soviet Russia, that fucking cat see YOU!
In Soviet Russia, music listens to YOU!
In Soviet Russia, music downloads YOU!
In Soviet Russia, baby fucks YOU!
In Soviet Russia, Mother fuck YOU!
In Soviet Russia, That tap YOU!
In Soviet Russia, U NO!
In Soviet Russia, YOU spy over Mossad agents!
In Soviet Russia, pet feed YOU!
In Soviet Russia, Cock mongles YOU!
In Soviet Russia, 9,000 over YOU!
In Soviet Russia, Hadouken fire YOU!
In Soviet Russia, card crushes YOU!
In Soviet Russia, condom breaks YOU!!
In Soviet Russia, Urinal pees on YOU!!!
In Soviet Russia, pages moves Grawp
In Soviet Russia, Candlejack
In Soviet Russia, Shark jump YOU!
In Soviet Russia, Waldo finds YOU!
In Soviet Russia, horse rides YOU!
In Soviet Russia, Big Brother watches YOU!
In Soviet Russia, dick sucks YOU!
In Soviet Russia, Portals think with YOU!
In Soviet Russia, babies eat YOU!
In Soviet Russia, baby shaves YOU!
In Soviet Russia, government has a say in YOU! (No, RLY.)
In Soviet Russia, Jews kill YOU!
In Soviet Russia, goddamn door closes YOU!
In Soviet Russia, boobs fap to YOU!
In Soviet Russia, Hell dines in YOU!
In Soviet Russia, Jenkem huffs YOU!
In Soviet Russia, Harpoons man
In Soviet Russia, Norton got 'YOU!!
In Soviet Russia, Solja Boy cranks dat YOOOOOOOOUUUU!!
In Soviet Russia, The Game loses....Wait, no.
In Soviet Russia, ENGLISH SPEAKS YOU, MOTHER FUCKER!!!
In Soviet Russia, MAH LAZOR fires YOU!
In Soviet Russia, Pool closes YOU!
In Soviet Russia, Airport kills YOU!
In Soviet Russia, /b/ is the cancer killing YOU!
In Soviet Russia, Cart pushes YOU!
In Soviet Russia, Bike Steals NIGGA!
In Soviet Russia, Pedos catch Chris Hansen!
In Soviet Russia, Toilet shits in YOU!
In Soviet Russia, Pussy eats YOU!
In Soviet Russia, Little girl finds Pedobear!
In Soviet Russia, Little boy molests YOU!
In Soviet Russia, zero divides by YOU!
In Soviet Russia, God disbelieves in YOU!
In Soviet Russia, Wikipedia vandalizes YOU!
In Soviet Russia, Shit does not care about YOU!
In Soviet Russia, whore pays YOU! (and tourism good)
In Soviet Russia, Bricks shat YOU!
In Soviet Russia, The economy accidentally YOU!
In Soviet Russia, YOU rob bank. In America, bank robs YOU!!
In Soviet Russia, WTC does the Jews!

Never Funny

"In Mozilla, you keep tabs on your browser. In Soviet Russia, browser keeps tabs on you!"
"In California, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, Party finds you!"

"Roses are red

Violets are blue

In Soviet Russia

Poem writes you!"