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Beatmania IIDX

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Beatmania IIDX is a music game by the creators of DDR and Pop'n Music that involves button mashing to shit techno tunes. This is marketed as a DJ simulation game, but only a fucktard would believe this is true, because DJs don't mash buttons at over 9000 key presses per second, and their disc scratches sound like actual disc scratches. If you choose to remove social life, your family, women, sex and pretty much everything else that involves other human beings, then it's the game you must play.


Gameplay

The goal of this game is to destroy the turntable controller by mashing your hands over it until they become a pile of skin, or they just burn into flames. Doing this will make the music hearable. If you play like shit, the music will sound like shit. Also, there's a vinyl disc that sits besides the keys, just to make sure it looks like a DJ game. But when you scratch it, it makes any random sounds, so it's like just another key, but it's harder to press.

Typical Beatmania IIDX gameplay

Real men play this game with two controllers


The series

beatmania IIDX 19 Lincoln
The latest game in the series

Beatmania is the Street Fighter 2 of music games. The second game gets a series while nobody gives a fuck about the first one. But it's way much worse, since Konami will release IIDX 19 Lincoln this year, while they've stopped making PS2 ports since IIDX 16, because it's an old overrated console (it's still possible to get a more recent game for the PC). The only differences between each game are some additional shit tunes and a different look, but the game is still the same. Except for 17 SERIOUS, where they've added Charge Notes, a mechanic that forces you to hold notes. This should've been in since the first game!

List of games

  • beatmania IIDX (1999)
  • beatmania IIDX not 2nd style, but substream (1999)
  • beatmania IIDX 2nd style (1999)
  • beatmania IIDX 3rd style (2000)
  • beatmania IIDX 4th style (2000)
  • beatmania IIDX 5th style (2001)
  • beatmania IIDX 6th style (2001)
  • beatmania IIDX 7th style (2002)
  • beatmania IIDX 8th style (2002)
  • beatmania IIDX 9th style (2003)
  • beatmania IIDX 10th style (2004)
  • beatmania IIDX 11th style RED (2004)
  • beatmania IIDX 12 HAPPY SKY (2005)
  • beatmania IIDX 13 DistorteD (2006)
  • beatmania IIDX 14 GOLD (2007)
  • Call of beatmania 15 - Modern DJ Warfare (2007)
  • beatmania IIDX FOR GIRLS (2008)
  • beatmania IIDX 17 SERIOUS (2009)
  • beatmania IIDX 18 Resort Anthem (2010)
  • beatmania IIDX 19 Lincoln (2011)
  • beatmania IIDX 20 We ran out of names (2011)
  • beatmania IIDX 21 ...what (2012)
  • beatmania IIDX 22nd style (2012)
  • beatmania IIDX 23 Apocalypse (2012)

Characters

beatmania IIDX 19 Poster
A way to lure people in the hell that is this game.
beatmania IIDX Iroha Candy Rabbit Figurine
These unimportant characters are still made into figurines.

Yes, in such a shitty game, there are actual characters! But most of them are either douchebags or fap material, while they are supposed to be DJs. In the game, they only appear in the result screen, when you win hard at this game (or if you just lost your life). Apparently, these characters have fans, so they had to write a big fucking story about each of them. But most of the time, their stories involve playing IIDX and other shit Konami music games with other characters. But that's not all, there are people who practice cosplaying based on these characters. The problem is the face nobody knows (let alone gives a fuck) about their personnality. So they end up acting like a fail DJ.


A fail attempt at cosplaying Eiri

Sometimes, they just play the fucking game!


See Also

External Links

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