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Erik Ribsskog

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Iconic picture of Erik Ribsskog with an axe (original). Erik's landlord is threatening him with eviction. Erik says: "I'm just going to by a new axe, and kill anyone who goes into my appartment or try to change the lock"[1]
   
“ 		 
The Police have been harassing me, and sent me a letter, calling me 'Miss Erik Ribsskog'.
  		„
  		 

—Erik emails the Queen

Miss Erik Ribsskog (born 25 July 1970), also known as Baron Adeler, Johncons or Eric Ribswood, is a batshit insane Norwegian blogger and cartoonist, currently residing in Liverpool. Since 2007, he has been telling his compelling life story on his blog (as of 2010 in over 9000 blog posts; this is to be taken quite literally). Whenever he drops a fart, it gets published on the blog. Most of it is unfortunately written in Norwegian and therefore has a geographically limited lulz potential. However, for those who do understand Norwegian, his blog is a continuous source of drama, lulz and BAAAWing. He also occasionally posts in English, usually when confronting the British Social Security authorities. Erik Ribsskog has become a cult figure on the Internets. Ribsskog has also become famous for a comic strip, published on his blog and focusing on experiences from his own life.

His background story, as he explains it, goes like this: Working as a store manager in Oslo, he overheard on the bus in 2003 that he was followed by the "mafian". This led him to flee the city, and eventually the country, and take up residence in Liverpool after surviving a murder attempt at his uncle's farm in 2005. He now supects most of his family and friends of being members of the Illuminati involved in a war against fair-haired people, and claims he was also used as a slave by a German company, Bertelsmann. He also claims the British police are threatening him with desmasculation, since they called him "Miss Erik Ribsskog" in a letter. One of Europe's most active bloggers, his blog deals with these events and with his attempts to "get his rights" from the police and various government authorities. He also writes at length and very detailed about issues like his sexual debut. On average, he posts about a dozen blog posts a day.

Background

Born in 1970, Ribsskog seems to have had a traumatic childhood, claiming that his parents left him when he was 9 years old. His childhood stories frequently revolve around this event. In hindsight, Ribsskog relates most of his childhood memories to a large conspiracy, which involves everyone from his family to former Norwegian prime ministers, the NWO and the Illuminati.

In spite of his difficult childhood, Ribsskog appears to have been a functioning member of society up until a certain point of his life. He has served in the Norwegian Armed Forces and saw some success in his position as a supermarket manager in one of Norway's largest supermarket franchises.

He once described his family background as "white trash".

Mental illness

Ribsskog's mental illness has probably been latent ever since his horrible childhood, but it seems that there is one special event that triggered the full-fledged psychosis that is currently exposed on his blog. One seemingly ordinary day in 2003, Ribsskog overheard on his way to work that he was followed by an entity known only as the "mafian" (non-standard Norwegian for "the mafia"). Upon hearing this, Ribsskog promptly fled the country and took up residence in Sunderland where he was supposed to study Information Technology. He failed terribly at this, and has later worked for Arvato's Microsoft Product Activation Service, but left after having been subjected to their inhumane experiments.

He subsequently returned to Norway, but after surviving an alleged murder attempt at his uncle's farm in 2005, he fled to England once again and settled down in Liverpool, where he currently resides. In Liverpool, he also "overheard" that he was being used as a target-guy and "drone" by the police.

He spends his days as an unemployed, self-proclaimed asylum-seeker, bitching about how neither the English nor Norwegian authorities take his insane theories seriously. When not sending a million complaints to any and all government agencies, he applies for jobs, still firmly convinced that one day he will be employed in an executive position because of his vast experience in the consumer merchandise retail industry. He also enjoys taking over 9000 pictures of himself walking the streets of Liverpool or in the same corner of his god-forsaken apartment, as can be seen in this video.

Erik takes a lot of pictures of himself

Major themes

Major themes from Erik's blog include, but are not limited to:

His family

  • His little sister, who is a member of the 'mafian' and the Illuminati in addition to being a witch and a communist, and who used Erik as a slave when he was a boy. The source of all evil according to Erik (despite being amazingly nice towards him and helping him out financially)
  • Christell, his step-sister, who is a Neanderthal. Ribsskog is hopelessly in love with her.
  • His grandmother, who was a witch and who murdered various people.
  • His father, who constantly harrasses him on the phone

Work

  • The German company Bertelsmann, which allegedly used Erik as a slave. Erik once protested against Bertelsmann by a German war-ship in Liverpool.
  • Rimi, Norway's Wal-Mart, where Erik once worked as a manager. He has reported the owner/founder of the company to the police for various crimes, including attempted murder, and believes he is involved in a vendetta against him for quitting his Rimi job.

The Landlord

  • The Landlord (T.J. Thomas/Imperial Properties). Erik refuses to pay rent (despite receiving housing allowance, which he prefers to use to buy a dozen Internet domains and candy), and since 2009 they have threatened him with eviction.[2] [3] In 2011, he bought an axe, and threatened to kill his landlord[4]. A few hours later, four policemen collected his axe[5].

Various conspiracy theories

  • Pizza Grandiosa, a Norwegian pizza brand, was a major theme for years. Erik speculates human meat is used on the pizza, and would go to great lengths to prove this.

"His rights" and his police reports

  • Erik constantly complains of being denied "his rights" by the authorities, and has sent thousands of reports to the police in Norway and the UK, and occasionally other countries.

Genealogy

Erik's hobby is genealogy, and he has discovered that he is "directly after [i.e., descended from] Odin", and that his grandmother's cousin's husband was a baron (Baron Adeler). He has consequently claimed the title Baron Adeler for himself, and has applied to the Norwegian authorities to change his name to Baron Erik Løvenbalk Ribsskog-Adeler. He speculates that he is persecuted by the authorities because he is heir to the title "Baron Adeler".

His step-sister, however, is not descended from Odin, as she is a Neanderthal according to Erik's research.[6]

You

Have you ever met him, been in proximity to him or eaten in the same country as him, you have to expect that he publishes everything he can find out about you on his blog, along with details of his sexual debut and opinion of your tits.

Highlights from Erik's blog

  • Erik reports Prime Minister Jens Stoltenberg to the police for conducting a vendetta against him, because his grandfather applied for a job in Svalbard in the 1950s[7]
  • Erik reports Merseyside Police to the Oslo Police for mafia activities, and reports Youtube to the police for denying him a girlfriend[8]
  • Erik reports his grandmother to the police for murdering the principal of his elementary school in 1978[9]
  • Erik reports The Financial Ombudsman for e-mailing him outside of the business hours.[10]

Quotes

   
“ 		 
I've complained to the courts in Norway, but they haven't done anything.
  		„
  		 

— Erik Ribsskog

   
“ 		 
Is this the CIA who want's to excuse themselves for throwing me out of the USA in 2005, for no good reason? Something is strange here i Think.
  		„
  		 

— Erik's response to this ED article

   
“ 		 
Sie ge-kören aus Aech mit der tranvestitten in der auto. [You drove from Aech with transvestites in the car]
  		„
  		 

— In this letter to his uncle, Erik Ribsskog demonstrates that he is fluent in German[11]

   
“ 		 
I really have an intellect myself. I think, so I really just need a woman sometimes, to keep me warm in bed, etc., (at this time).
  		„
  		 

—After he failed to annul his step-sister Christell's marriage, Erik is becoming increasingly desperate

   
“ 		 
I'm a business-man, an academic, an IT-expert, a commerce & office, marketing and Information-management expert, I'm an infantry and home defence veteran from Norway, I've been in politics, in Norway, I'm an earlier shop manager, I'm a shooter
  		„
  		 

—Erik Ribsskog is convinced he'll get a top job soon

Writing style

Ribsskog has developed a very distinctive style of writing. He always starts a new paragraph for each sentence. Additionally, he uses several standard phrases in any text he writes, including:

  • "I think I have to say"
  • "But but"
  • "So that's how that is"
  • "More then"
  • "So we'll see what happens. (new paragraph) We'll see"

Erik: the comic strip

Trolling Erik Ribsskog

Yankee go home!

Trolling Erik Ribsskog is about as difficult as stealing candy from a child.

  • Send him an e-mail claiming to represent the mafian, and that you have not forgotten him.
  • Make fake subscriptions for gay magazines. [12]
  • Plant strange ideas in his head, which he will subsequently process in his batshit insane mind before sending enraged complaints to the Norwegian government.[13]
  • Address him as "Miss Erik Ribsskog" (Merseyside Police once did this, which has since served as a source of numerous conspiracy theories)

Although he is completely convinced that he is followed by the "mafian" and that this mafia wants to kill him at all costs, he posts his home address about 200 times daily on his blog. His address is:

Flat 3 5 Leather Lane
Liverpool GB-L2 2AE
Great Britain

[email protected]

Erik's protest against Bertelsmann by German war-ship in Liverpool. A true classic.

External links

Erik's own websites

Third-party

Featured article June 12 & June 13, 2011
Preceded by
Fullmetal Alchemist 		Erik Ribsskog Succeeded by
Dominique Strauss-Kahn
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