Invader Zim

You're not a true Zim fan until you've spent at least $1250 on merchandise.

Invader Zim is a show about an Jew and the constant attempts by his aspie emo fuck-buddy from Earth to stop him. Given that it was created by overlord Jhonen Vasquez, its fail levels were predictably over 9000. Hot Topic, sensing its exploitability in the pre-teen faggot market, promptly arrived to rape it with tee-shirts of the character GIR with quotes not even from the show. Hot Topic has beaten this trend to death and still continues to beat its rotting corpse. Fans of the show have gotten so sick of the over-merchandising that they have quit liking the show (however, these fans are all faggy teen agers, so they moved on to Twilight and Charlie the Unicorn and proceeded to shell out money to Hot Topic again). If you should ever encounter anyone over the age of 20 wearing an Invader Zim T-shirt in public, you are legally allowed to beat the piss out of them.

The Characters

Voice of Zim. Voice of Zim. He does not alter his voice at all

The cast consists of a bunch of spastic cartoons shouting at each other nonstop. this is only funny if something funny is happening. Shouting, by itself, is unfunny

Dib: A drama queen outcast with a massive head

Zim: a short alien prick

GIR: Zim's retarded robot sidekick. The only reason this show was popular was because of his win

Gaz: Dib's crazy bitch sister (notably the only one who realizes that Zim couldn't conquer his own dick)

Plot Summary

The show sets around an alien named Zim (he's from the planet Irk, therefore Irken), which rules a mighty empire, which, copying the United States, invades other planets, kills and enslaves the native inhabitants, and then turns the planet into something half-useful. Zim, who was banished after he fucked up the previous galactic conquest effort his incredible Jew set out to complete. Then, he was banished, but he hears about a new series of conquests, so he quits his banishment (WTF?), and begs his leaders, The Almighty Tallest, to give him a second chance. He shows up on the Irken Empire's convention planet just as the Tallest are selecting a series of special ops troops. These highly trained soldiers, along with advanced robots, are to infiltrate the enemy planets and get to know the natives and their weaknesses before sending for reinforcements and wiping them out, just like Colombus did. Zim begs for redemtion, so The Tallest pretend to care and send him on a mission to his death with a defective robot named GIR, who was made from Irken garbage. Basically, he is supposed to find some "mystery planet", whose location is a mystery. Despite six months of extreme annoyance by his fucking childish robot, Zim manages to not die, and find Earth. He contacts the Almighty Tallest and the two gay lovers are completely surprised to find he actually lived.

Meanwhile, a spastic emo aspie named Dib hears the broadcast from Zim's planet and promptly freaks the fuck out. His family, used to his stupidity, ignores him, just like everyone else does through the rest of the series. Then, Zim arrives in a giant spaceship and uses his alien technology to make a house grow out of the ground and even extend its tentacles into other houses, and chooses very poor and practically useless disguises for himself and his robot, all while waking up the neighborhood. Dib instantly recognizes Zim as an alien, but nobody believes him, and they all make fun of him. Even though he has the technology to kill fucking everyone, Dib still takes the abuse from his classmates. Each episode in a nutshell is pretty much a scenario in which the hero and the villain are too incompetent to thwart each other in saving/taking over the world, constantly canceling each other out with their retarded antics causing nothing productive to ever happen. Unfortunately, Zim never realizes he is a loser and fails to become an hero, which would have been a hilarious plot point.

Invader Zim ran for just over one season, but managed successfully creating a detestable fanbase, loads of merchandise, fan sites, rabid hellfans, a cult following, and general mass destruction in its wake. Violence in school escalated as kids argued over which episode was the best, which character was the best, and anyone who said the show sucked was immediately slaughtered with a plastic fork from the school cafeteria. Parents who failed to let their kids have the TV when the show was on faced a dilemma not unlike feeding a gremlin after midnight. It was like crack to the fans, and if they didn't get their Zim Fix, bad shit would happen.

Fanbase

File:Kiss on the Cheek by Double oh Seven.jpg

A typical example of Invader Zim fanart from DeviantART.

Of course, Emofags and Goths worldwide swarmed like dicks to Paris Hilton over this show, storming Hot Topic for the slew of merchandise that followed the release of Invader Zim so they could continue to be unique and original. About 80% of Invader Zim fans are whining, eyeliner addicted teenagers. It was a hideous new breed of human, if you'd even want to classify them as human: The Zimfags. Ten times more deadly than Furfags and holding onto one of the worst Rule 34 image reservoirs in all of history, Zimfags went around (and still are) scarring minds one DeviantArt submission at a time.

But the "art" was nothing, my friends; nothing compared to the terror of the fanfics. Riddled with grammar bad enough to give Sandygurl a run for her retarded money and full of stupid plots, bad fan characters, and flamingly bad sex scenes, Zimfags all around would read with sweaty palms and drooling mouths as they fap-fap-fapped to something that would fit very nicely into The Pain Series. The small percent of Zimfics not surrounding perverted sexcapades are a lot like rap music: once you've read one, you've read them all.

	“	This hilariously spastic TV show, cancelled well before its time, has inspired in my mind both an epic multi-fanfic-spanning storyline and a freakish little nightmare. The latter is available for your perusal here.	„
	—-Shay Caron of Forrester Labs proclaiming his/her source of divine inspiration

Invader Zim forums still exist.

Bloaty's pizza hog

'HAAAAAAAAYYY YOU EAT SOME PIZZA!

If you found that funny: click here to claim your prize

Zimfics of Pain

Swing 21 is responsible for this fanfic. A little preview of what horrors await you:

‘All this pain and suffering makes Zim horny,’ answered the Invader with a smirk.

‘But we just…’

A painful twitch of his nipple transformed anything he had to say in a needy whimper. Soon, Zim was kissing him hungrily, claws roaming under his shirt. Dib’s hands traveled down, past the red sleeveless shirt, playing with the button of the black pants. He fumbled a bit with it, grumbling against Zim’s lips, eager to get their clothing –once again– out of the way.

Here is an entire community on Fanfiction.net dedicated to ZADR fics.

The Canceling of Zim

Zimfags worldwide blew their brains out when they heard the news that Zim was being canceled; butthurt was had, petitions were signed, forums were created, websites were formed, and nothing ever came of it other than a lot of irritating bullshit.

Butthurt Towards Nickelodeon

File:Sucksuck.jpg

an 'artist' shows their mary-sue OCs!

Of course, since any idiot with a computer can use Petition Online, there was a petition made to try and bring Zim back on the air. Nickelodeon laughed and ignored the retards, and they were left staring at the idiotic comments left by petition signers, ranting and raving about how it was the best show ever to hit Nick, obviously ignoring the classics like Ren & Stimpy, Rocko's Modern Life, Angry Beavers and Zoey 101.

	“	Your other shows pale in comparison to the humour of Zim. Bring it back or I know some individuals who will band together and riot.	„

	“	Foolish ideat NICK humans! I will descover why you are doing this! You suck, you know that? I'm serious, really.. You suck, really, you do... Give us back GIR AND PIG... and every body else, too...! Or we, THE IVADER ZIM FANS, will destory you! We will, really, yeah.	„

	“	My Sir named kir is going crazy gir was his best friend and if you dont bring gir back he will eat your biggie head jus like the squirll ate dibs head......BEWARE OF THE SQUIRLLS	„

	“	I LOVE ZIM! IT'S SOOOO MUCH BETTER THAN SPONGEBOB. MY WHOLE HIGH SCHOOL LOVES HE WHO IS ZIM! BRING HIM BACK OR "PREPARE YOURSELF FOR DESTRUCTION!!!!"	„

	“	IF U DONT' BRING ZIM AND GIR BACK THEY WILL COME TO OUR EARTH (not the odd insane earth he's at now) AND TAKE OVER ALL STATIONS AND AIR ZIM 24/7!!! this is just a warning	„

	“	we neeeed Invader Zim - My life needs the pig!! Without this show life is dull!!!!!!	„

	“	INVADER ZIM IS IN MY FAVORITE THREE SHOWS AND IT'S PRBABLY NUMBER ONE ON MY LIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE MUST SAVE INVADER ZIM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVER SINCE YOU CANCELED INVADER ZIM, THE WORLD WHEN WRONG!!!!!!!!!!! EVERY WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE WORLD WILL ONLY MAKE SENSE WHEN INADER ZIM IS BACK ON THE AIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU MUST SAVE INVADER ZIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! INVADER ZIM RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! INVADER ZIM IS THE BEST SHOW EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE PUT INVADER ZIM BACK ON THE AIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEN I CAN BE HAPPY AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT UNTIL THEN, I WILL BE SAD AND WILL NEVER SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SAVE INVADER ZIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!	„

Previous Quote | Next Quote

Jhonen's Take on the Cancelling

	“	Zim was cancelled in, what? 2002? I mean, babies have been born... have learned how to walk; have begun gathering the necessary essentials to succeed in life, so it's... it's forever ago for me!	„

The Aftermath

After a year or so of whining, suicide, and depression, one of the rabid fans of Invader Zim eventually slept with Nickelodeon (and probably Jhonen too) hardcore in return for a DVD release. What Nickelodeon did was laugh at them, made them their bitch, and then sold the rights for Zim to Anime Works. Three volumes were released, packed with bonus features, unaired episodes, and though it was rumored to be, the producers must have pussied out because the unedited version of The Worst X-Mas Ever was nowhere to be found. Among the unaired episodes was "The Girl Who Cried Gnome", which is actually a documentary on the all-too common species Attentoinus whorebagus. In the episode, a little girl gets her foot stuck in a hole, and even though she can get out safe and fine, she freaks out; rescue teams and news vans ensue.

DVD Bonus material includes subtitles in the Irken Language, the original pilot, interviews with the cast, and commentary, which surely gave a collective orgasm to every Zimfag on the planet.

	“	ZOMG THE DVD HAS COMMENTARY I CAN HEAR JHONEN TALKING HE'S SO HOT OMGOMGOMG!!!!	„
	—Typical response from a Zimfag

Operation Head Pigeons

The latest plan of failure to bring back Invader Zim. Apparently a group of Zimfags took a blog entry written by TEH ALMIGHTEH JHONEN OF DUUM!111! saying that he'd like to work on Invader Zim again but Nickelodeon refused to let him waaaaaay too seriously. So over 9,000 Zimfags decided to get together on DevianTART and Facebook to try to bring the show, which has been dead for nearly 10 FUCKING YEARS, back.How? BY SPAMMING THE FUCK OUT OF NICKELODEON, OF COURSE. As if they give a fuck.

Trolling Potential

Zimfags are so easily riled up, it should be considered a crime against man not to fuck with these people. DeviantArt is riddled with Zim fanclubs, Zimfags, and ZADR lovers; take your pick and post the lulz. thefmaismine invadersourrocks, invadermim, insideparanormal, analteredmind, Sadistic-Murder, foxx-demon-fireand akatsukilunar are all zimfags that are easily riled. Troll the fuck out of their pages and post the lulzy journals! On another note a great way to find zimfags is through the clubs that abound and one of the most fun ways are the ones with fetishes like the lesbian xenophile irken-femme-love or the gay xenophiles of the zadr club.