Mission Statement
ON VANDALISM
An Essay by Bobby Boulders
President, International Society of Vandals
What drives the Wikimedia vandal to action? What makes him or her tick? The current Administration of the various Wikimedia portals would have you believe that vandals act simply out of a need for attention. They seek to disrupt the ease and functionality of information exchange via the Wikimedia. And they seek to do this only "because they can."
On a basic level, this concept is true. The majority of so-called "vandals" on the Wikimedia sites vandalize to get a rise out of their peers, or to be clever, cute, funny, or ridiculous. They seek little more than the fleeting attention their handiwork will generate before its inevitable reversion or removal. It is plainly obvious that such vandals are endemic to the Wikimedia, and will remain so, as long as the Wikimedia remain open-source sites, freely capable of being edited by any and all passing users. Primal, unconstructive vandalism is quick, easy, and will always be so.
Vandalism will always remain "easy," but it needn't always be unconstructive. Indeed, if bent to just purposes, vandalism of the Wikimedia can be a powerful political tool. We at the International Society of Vandals believe, quite firmly, that vandalism should be constructive in nature. It should serve a greater purpose. It should be done not in bad faith, but with positive, rehabilitative intent. We vandalize to bring about positive and pure change to the Wikimedia system.
What change do we seek? To be blunt, we strive for nothing less than the overthrow of the current Administration of the Wikimedia, and their replacement by more fair, balanced, and philanthropic Administrators. Like the common Frenchmen rebelling against their tyrannical government in the French Revolution, we believe quite strongly in the essence, spirit, and future of our "nation." Indeed, we value the free exchange of information on the Wikimedia more highly than any of the Administrators do. And we believe that, only by removing or forcing the ouster of these fascist and tyrannical Administrators, can information once again flow freely.
The Administrators have gone too far. They have become cliquish, catty, fascist, and above all, self-interested. They have demonstrated, time and again, that they are not motivated by Good and Righteous desires to aid and continue the freedom of information and aggregation on the Wikimedia. Rather, they are interested only in reverting people's edits, restricting the flow of new information, and resisting any and all change to the status quo of articles as they currently exist.
Science has taught us that information is not static. One can never know the sum total of all there is to know about any given subject. Likewise, to think that any given Wikimedia article needs no further revision – as seems to be the belief and practice of Administrators – is to spit in the face of Progress and Education.
And thus, our mission is made clear. We will continue to vandalize. We will continue to rebel against tyranny. We will continue, and we will NOT stop, until our goals have been achieved, and the current Administrators of Wikipedia are dethroned. We will disrupt and destroy all Wikimedia sites, piece by piece, until the owners of the Wikimedia sites have lost all faith in the Administrators to execute their jobs effectively. And once those Administrators are terminated from their duties, we will rest. And we will know peace, freedom, liberty, equality, and Progress.