Faulty Logic

Faulty Logic refers to a set of eighteen holes in the arguments typically presented by Christians, Republicans and other mouth-breathers. As a flame war technique, it is surprisingly ineffectual against those most vulnerable to it, because telling people that they're stupid doesn't stop them from believing in an invisible old man in the sky. It can still be used casually, however, as an effective tool for putting your opponent on guard and costing them extra mental anguish by making them think too hard about things. Example:

Prima: If we don't ban the furries, next we'll have the diaperfurs in here.

Secunda: BZZZT! Slippery slope!

By and large it's a great way of working really hard to make yourself look like a complete nerd. Nonetheless, here it is for posterity.

Fallacy	Example	BZZT!
False Analogy	711chan has an /i/. 4chan doesn't have an /i/, and they get on fine without it.	4chan users are too busy posting THE BEST and bitching about each other to organize.
False Premise	Everyone wants to get laid. GHB will get you laid. Therefore, everyone should buy Aqua Dots.	Not everyone wants to be pwnt in the ass by Bubba.
Red Herring	Wikipedia admins are great. They revert and delete new pages every day!	Assumes good faith on the part of the Wikipedos.
Ad hominem	Roger shouldn't be allowed within two miles of children. He's a furry.	Ad hominem, although totally justified in this case.
Genetic Fallacy	Roger shouldn't be allowed to go to Anthrocon. He's a diaperfur.	Simular to ad hominem, and likewise totally justified in this case.
Appeal To Pity	Children are abused on the Sea Org by locking them in the hold, and you call us "Protestfags!"	Similar to red herring. Regardless of Child Abuse, holding up a "LONGCAT IS LONG LOL" sign still makes you a fag.
Appeal To Ignorance	12chan must have no pedophiles at all - nobody there has ever been v& for cp!	Pedobear is a crafty beast.
Either/Or Fallacy	If we don't put all the black people in prison, they'll steal our televisions.	Assumes that putting black people in prison will stop them from stealing televisions.
Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc	People get CP from 12chan. Therefore, reading 12chan turns you into a pedophile.	Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc. Many 12chan users read ED too - does reading ED make you look at CP?
Concurrence Fallacy	Emo kids listen to My Chemical Romance, and many of them become An Hero. Therefore, listening to My Chemical Romance makes you kill yourself.	Not everybody who listens to My Chemical Romance kills themselves. But they should.
Personified Abstraction	History tells us that six million died during the Holocaust.	"History," does not "Tell" us anything, revisionist sympathizers do.
Ill-Founded Generalization	I surf 4chan every Saturday. I can tell it's a great place to get pictures of cats.	If you went on Friday you may come to the conclusion that it was a furry site.
Non-Sequitur	People who surf 12chan are bigger pedos than those who surf 4chan. Roger surfs 12chan. Roger should be arrested as a pedophile.	Roger may have already run a magnet over his hard drive.
Circular Reasoning (Tautology)	Joshua is a Jew because he always tricks people out of money.	The correct syntax should be Joshua always tricks people out of money because he is a Jew.
Begging The Question	Places like Wikipedia should require email login.	Conceals a second argument. Wikipedia cannot ask for email login, or Jimbo would not be able to walk around with a giant moral hardon. The argument is really "Wikipedia should require email login."
Equivocation	Anonymous is morally neutral. Sean says "But I really care about Chanology." Therefore, Sean is not an Anon.	Anonymous contains moralfags, protestfags, newfags and oldfags, but the most annoying of all are the ones who whine "Internet hive mind!" and tell people where to get off.
Appeal To Wrong Authority	Sarah went to ITT Tech, and she says big colleges like Harvard aren't that great.	SERIOUSLY wrong authority.
Slippery Slope	Don't let your kids watch Rescue Rangers. They'll end up going furry for Gadget and asking you for a fursuit.	One thing does not necessarily follow another. But it does. It totally fucking does.
Shifting Burden of Proof	PROVE ME WRONG	It will get you banned on 4chan, PROVE ME WRONG.

Featured article July 16, 2008
Preceded by Sonmanic	Faulty Logic	Succeeded by Daniele Fiorenza