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College Sex Bloggers
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This is a great idea for an article, but it needs seasoned ED vets to move in and make with the funny. Plz do not deletes. |
A variety of attention whore, typically a young and very stupid woman, who will say anything on a blog in exchange for attention, money, items from online wishlists, or just to be generally slutty.
College sex blogging is, as a rule, camwhoring for fuglies.
College sex bloggers typically suffer from internet disease and engage in constant shameless self promotion (see, for a herpes-raging example, Lena Chen). Often, college sex bloggers will remove their clothing if given enough of their preferred currency (Lena Chen, Zoe Yang, Meghan Bainum). They will also reveal how used condoms slip out of their cunts while they piss on the toilet bowl and/or the discharges their gashes make thanks to the numerous STDs housed in their cunts.
Bear in mind that all college sex bloggers are, without exception, incredibly stupid. As a result, they can be milked for lulz if you aren't too busy fapping to their disease-ridden axe wound.
Here are some notes on the more LULZy college sex skankbloggers:
Erica Andrist
MOAR proof that college in the midwest is thorazine boring: University of Wisconsin slut Erica Andrist was driven to fuck-blogging because, apparently, cow-tipping just ain't as fun as it used to be.
—Badger Sex Blogger Erica Andrist | ||
Um, yeah.
Ugh. Enough of this cunt.
Meghan Bainum
Desperate to escape from the thorazine snoarfest which is the University of Kansas, Meghan Bainum started writing about her fellatio-for-fund$ scam...
She hit the big-time when Playboy kidnapped her, put her up in a "posh-ass" hotel, and photographed Meghan Bainum with dildoes up her ass.
—fuckie-suckie blogger Meghan Bainum about a Playboy photo shoot (Yep, she's from Kansas!) | ||
Jenna Bromberg
"I had period sex and wrote about it," blogged kike skank Jenna Bromberg, "and now people look at me funny."
Actually, Jenna Bromberg tried to blog under the pseudonym "Jenna B," but got OUTTEDpwned when a dude fucked her and forgot her...but not before writing an article about it, "My Night Getting My Cock Sucked By Jenna Bromberg"
—Jenna Bromberg, post-coitus (Yep, she's a Jew!) | ||
As one can expect, getting outted as a whore impacted Jenna's non-whore marketability...By the end of employers laughing in her face, a drone job typing hotel reviews at HotelChatter-dot-com looked "FANTASTIC!!!1" to the pancake-makeup kike. "A vibrator will always be good to you," sighed the cunt in retrospect, "and won't blab how you're a frigid Jew slut to the college newspaper!"
Lena Chen
You could make a whole page about Lena Chen. Lena Chen is a Lolcow who, realizing she was too stupid to get through Harvard on merit, milked the Ivy-placement her daddy bought her by whoring it up and blogging the results on her blogs (sexandtheivy, thechicktionary). Lena Chen is best known for scores of orifice-related lulz:
- Posting about how she "lowered her mouth over his cock and slid my lips over his shaft easily"...to tip a pizza boy when she lacked the funds to pay him.
- Blogging about her STDs...but failing to make the obvious cause/effect link to her manic nymphomania.
- Blogging details of how she seduced and fucked her sociology teacher Patrick Hamm...then whining when Internet Heroes emailed the links to the Harvard Dean, thus getting Patty Boy miserably assfucked.
- Posting pics of herself nude and with [Patrick's jizz smeared on her face...then whining when someone else posted MOAR of her nude pics on the internet.
The best part, of course, is how Lena's astonishing stupidity leads her to be unable to take responsibility for her part in any of the foregoing LULZ.
Needless to say, manic nympho shit like this wasn't good for Lena's job prospects. These days, she's grossing $20K a year posting about shoving stuff up her twat...and yet denying that her sugar daddy German Patrick Hamm is paying for her numerous gourmet restaurant trips and shopping sprees.
Desperate for funds, Lena is now trying to jumpstart the LOLena Lena Chen meme, attaching catchy slogans to the best known picture of Lena Chen with cum on her face.
Helen Chiu
Helen Chiu, blogging as zoeynym, is yet ANOTHER California Azn (see also Lena Chen and Jing Yang) who decided to blog about all the cocks she stuffed into her cunt, mouth, and anus...as well as the nasty STDs she got from the bargain (SRSLY).
Helen Chiu blogged about all of this from her shithole school at the University of California Irvine (she was rejected by UCLA, apparently :P). You can find Helen Chiu's slutblog at TurnYourselfIn and zoeynym.com.
—Helen Chiu, blogging as zoeynym (Yep, she's Azn!) | ||
Miriam Datskovsky
Miriam Datskovsky '07 spewed the "Sexplorations" column at the Columbia University Spectator. The reason why is made obvious from this snippet:
—Miriam Datskovsky | ||
Yep, her writing SUCKED even worse than Miriam Datskovsky's blowjobs! A small cottage industry of blogs popped up like a bad boner to get the cunt the indecent burial she deserved: "Fire Miriam Datskovsky!" railed one; Bwog chuckled when a NY Times Magazine piece found Miriam's work unworthy of even mentioning.; and IvyGate was amused to see Datskovsky get more fucked on than fucked.
Since college left Miriam with too many semen-smears on her resume, she remains, 4 years later, a "self-employed free-lance writer" (i.e., and unemployed skank whose publicly spread legs fucked her chance at a career).
Shelley Gupta
Lots of fuckbloggers are Azn, but this one's a rarity: Shelly Gupta is a SOUTH Azn who apparently didn't get her clit sliced off in time by her Muslim parents. As a result, we get to read scads of shit about Gupta taking cocks into her scab and mouth.
—Shelley Gupta, Law Student, making the case for bloodfucking | ||
Typical of college sex bloggers, Gupta couldn't find a job after graduating...no doubt since employers retched when they googled her online accounts of her seploits. So Gupta is now at a third-tier toilet law school, where she shits on her fellow students and professors on her "lawl student" blog (OOPS, Shelley Gupta's bitchy lawlblog moved to jdjustjurisdoctoris.blogspot.com).
Jessica Haralson (Jessica Gold Haralson)
Oh look: another Ivy fugly who fucked up her future by spreading her legs in public!
Once upon a time, Jessica Haralson jizzed herself over the attention she was getting. Alas, Jessica Haralson was a fatty as well as a skank, so she didn't do any nude pics (unlike Lena Chen who did too many nude pics).
Amazingly, college skank bloggers rarely ask themselves one obvious question: with all the cum on my resume/google-search profile, who the fuck will ever hire me? So it happened with Jessica Haralson; despite her worthless Ivy degree (in writing and French, lol), Jessica Haralson's job prospects were so hopeless that she ended up fleeing America. Jessica Gold Haralson, once a touted Ivy League Skank Blogger, is now babysitting kids in South Korea. Enjoy those Ddong-chims, bitch!
Karen Owen
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You gotta hand it to Duke University's lacrosse team. They get more poon than anyone, evar. The problem is, they pick bitches with big mouths.
In 2006, there was the Duke lacrosse case, which was an innocent case of gang raping a stripper. Now there is Karen Owen, who fucked 13 members of the team, except one at a time.
At first, the lacrosse players were very happy, because she had a big mouth, well suited for oral. The problem was, they were all so bad in the sack, that Owen felt compelled to make a PowerPoint presentation outlining each of their shortcomings. To her surprise, this ended up on the internet, because she emailed it to her friends. This caused massive butthurt to the Duke University regents, since they all wanted a chance to demonstrate how bad they were in the sack.
Owen is now graduated from Duke, but will have a hell of a time trying to find a job without a creepy old boss who just wants to fuck her.
Samantha Willner
Cumdumpster Samantha Willner is a (very oral) Communications major at Cornell University. She's also managed to suck enough cock to land a summer gig as an "editorial intern" at McGraw-Hill Higher Education in New York. Apparently, Sammy doesn't do much "work" besides giving blowjobs, since she has SCADS of time to blog about ramming shit up her fetid, diseased cunt:
Oh, for those who like making Jews suck their cocks, you can find Samantha Willner on OKCupid at Ivy_Inamorata. Don't forget to make her take her Valtrex!
Skankwhore Samantha also finds worktime to blog about such other pressing matters as:
- Samantha Willner's ache to suck black cock (Just make sure her parents Marci Willner and Irwin Cohen don't find out! They'll LYNCH the nig!)
- Samantha Willner's fantasy of being gangraped during one of her habitual blackout-drinking sprees.
Hilariously, Willner doesn't seem to remember what happened to the LAST Cornell whore who blogged about the scores of guys she sucked off: whorecunt Jessica Gold Haralson. As Jess-jess learned, and Samantha Willner will learn VERY SOON, Google remembers all that slutblogging...long after graduation, when you finally realize that writing about your drunken cumslurping tends to make GETTING A JOB rather difficult in this economy. Oh, well.
Upon discovery of this article, Sammy (or one of her fucktoys) tried to remove her information by blanking this section. Since vandalism is pointless, the "damage" that was done was quickly reverted and the user was banned.
Zoe Yang
What happens to camwhores after they graduate from college? A prime case study can be found by examining Zoe Yang aka Jing Yang (who is obviously Asian like her heroine Lena Chen)
It all started when Zoe, despite her parents' dumping megabuck$ into the Winsor School, was unable to be accepted into an Ivy, got shitcanned to Pomona College. Nestled in with all the other wealthy wannabes, Zoe hit upon a brilliant idea: blog about SEX! And add PICTURES! So little Asian Zoe skankblogged her heart out.
—Zoe Yang, stating the obvious, on her sex blog, zoehassex | ||
—Zoe Yang | ||
Zoe's blog was SO CUTTING EDGY!1 that the campus Conservatives had great glee in gutting Zoe Yang's Vietnamese whore fantasies
Shortly after (she thought) scrubbing the 'net of all traces of her fuckie-suckie blogger and camwhore pics, Zoe Yang embarked on a job search. She landed at McKinsey & Company in New York.
Once Zoe Yang realized that sex photos aren't exactly good for ascending the corporate ladder, she immediately tried to change her name to Jing Yang. Jing Yang (aka Zoe Yang aka Yijing Yang...shit, how many times HAS this skank changed her name after a selfpwn??) seems unaware that teh internets are a bit smarter than she is.
Alas, the defensive maneuver was too little, too late: once Zoe Yang's whoring was discovered, McKinsey shitcanned her skank ass in short order.
Christine Yu
What do you get when you cross a skank and a geek? Christine Yu, of coruse! SRSly:
—Christine Yu, MIT, explaining how she like getting her rectum boned on "Nerdy and Flirty" | ||
Apparently, being a skank can lead to PTSD, since Yu is well-known for the time she got arrested for assault and battery (SRSly!).
—Christine Yu, explaining why she's a nympho fuckup | ||
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College Sex Bloggers is part of a series on Visit the Whores Portal for complete coverage. |