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Captain Jack

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
This is an old revision of this page, as edited by imported>Mantequilla at 09:36, 31 October 2011. It may differ significantly from the current revision.
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Captain Jack can refer to the following:

  • Captain Jack Sparrow, main character of the Pirates Of The Caribou Barbie movies. Runs around acting generally awesome and stoned. Played by Johnny Depp doing an inexplicable Keith Richards impersonation. His childishly amused face is a 4chan meme.
  • Captain Jack Harkness, who rather than being a dimension-hopping pirate is a dimension-hopping arse-pirate from the fifty year old British sci-fi series Doctor Who. He is played by the flamboyantly camp John Barrowman, a Scottish theatre queen raised in Canada to have a fake American accent, and got his own spinoff show where he did Spike from Buffy.
  • Captain Jack, a German dance act consisting of a Franky Gee (a shouting, camp nigra who left the US army because he was a pacifist) stapled to an increasingly hot succession of laughably fuckable women. This year's model is called Illi Love. Captain Jack laid waste to entire continents with his campness and shoutyness after the Weeaboo menace spread his music across the world via the vector of Dance Dance Revolution.
  • Captain Jack (song), a song by Billy Joel featured on his 1973 album Piano Man