Claudy Tu

Claudy Tu is seen as most to be a troll dwelling in the depths of the IMDb message boards. Like most trolls, he starts threads of a negative and derogatory nature, for no purpose other than to provoke people.

Claudy himself claims that he is "the Simon Cowell of the film world", leading retards to believe he is actually Simon Cowell. A third set of people believe, due to several comments made by Claudy, that he is very well connected in the movie world, and has dated Whoopi Goldberg.

These are exciting times on the IMDb boards, with more and more people rushing to take part in solving the mystery of "Who is Claudy Tu?"

See his profie here [1] . Note the arrogance that is exuded, displaying an argument with one poster, and proudly displaying several of his own quotes, and of course, announcing this:

	“	"I pride myself on the fact people often refer to me as the 'simon cowell' of the film world"	„
	—Claudy Tu, on identity theft

Whatever the answer may be, Claudy has become something of an enigma to those who use the IMDb message boards.

UPDATE: CLAUDY GIVES UP On July 4th, 2007 at 7:43 Central...Claudy_tu gave up his farce and ran away with his tail between his legs. Here is his post.

Unfortunately, I must work on my own website. This will take a considerable amount of time. I would like to propose an offer for those reading. This imdb account was handed down to me 16 months ago, (as it was handed down to the previous owner). I feel as though I have upheld standards but unfortunately must now move on - Applicants for the password to claudy_tu's account must apply to: - [email protected]. I only ask that you state your reasons for wanting this account with a very brief description of your role within the industry. Your objective should be to spread honesty to the masses and one of your personal qualities should be that of severe determination. Please do not apply if you cannot commit to the above. Thanks then!

And there you have it. Even in defeat, Claudy is delusional.

UPDATE: Claudy has since returned, posted a video on You-tube and claimed "victory" when no one posted a video response despite numerous text responses that held all the information to crush any argument he made, and has already deleted said video to hide the evidence. Now, after a solid beating from his most vocal opponents on IMDB (one involving him being caught on a lie claiming to be a woman), he has claimed to "ignore" their screen names. The last act of a desperate, defeated man who knows he can't hide who he is. Unfortunately for Claudy, he has failed to understand that the people who oppose him are NOT there for him. They are there to inform other's of the low-life piece of shit that is Claudy_tu.

UPDATE: October 22nd 2007 Once again, Claudy has given up. And despite his claims otherwise, he has been broken down. He has been beaten. He has lost. Here's the post: "Sadly it is time for a new account. Faced with those reporting my posts out of malicious intent (and a well deserved pc upgrade) - I've decided I have to act as cowardly as they do. Time to hide behind alternative identities. It’s a shame that these individuals became so upset they actually felt motivated enough to pursue me and repeatedly report inoffensive material for the sake of proving a point to themselves..erm EVERYDAY ! - The point is, the moderation here’s daft, easy to take advantage of. They fight dirty and are lowly puny scum.

At the end of the day they will never stop me. They had to cheat just to get one notch ahead. They will never break my spirit, and they will NEVER EVER win ! Next time you see a thread which generates over 500 responses, think of me fondly... you big gay fuckers"

His last words to us, apparently, shall remain homophobic and childish.

Cowell In Disguise?

Claudy's explosive nature and stinging reviews certainly fit the profile of Mr Cowell, but are they one and the same? Or is it just coincidence? Several experts have begun to examine the likelyhood of this poster being the Pop Idol judge, submitting their findings to us.

Exhibit 1 - The Attack on Johnny Depp

After beginning life (at least under this username) as a regular IMDb poster, it wasn't long before Claudy could no longer hold his tongue and began to criticise people or movies which he felt were not up to his standard. The first of these attacks came on Johnny Depp, based his performance in "Pirates of the Carribean", in which Claudy began the thread "Johnny Depps a bit of a talentless fool really... yes?", and proceed to write the following:

Johnny Depps a bit of a talentless fool really isn’t he? I mean, he’s' explored all these avenues in order to broaden his appeal /tried to convince us all he has potential as a serious actor. He's tried desperately to shake off any 'prettyboy' image or typecast... yet he still manages to exude this introverted wooden style in just about every damn movie he does! When the majority of his hormonal female audiences vote for him, are they actually considering his acting ability? I've never understood the phenomenon of celebs cred/rise to fame, often interpreted as actual talent. I suppose it's like a small snowball rolling down a hill. hmmm.. just a passing thought.

(Thread located here [2])

Exhibit 2 - Dissecting Forrest Gump

The next review Claudy posted was on the Tom Hanks film, "Forrest Gump". Again, negative from start to finish, and never holding back on his views, it was titled "Making fun of the disabled.. FOR ALL THE FAMILY !", and followed:

8.3/10? Well that's the rating system. This movie is nothing more than condescending, weepy, sentimental clap-trap for emotionally unstable housewives. This Robert Zemeckis abomination often teeters on the edge of tedium with its 'by-numbers depiction' of the disabled as innocent victims who can do little wrong. Zemeckis also seems totally unaware that as the portrayal of Winston Grooms character manifests before us, (in typical patronising Hollywood heroism of course), there’s contradiction he fails to address. Any appropriately imaginative basis of a believable character becomes lost amidst ridiculous stereotypical presentation. It's a movie which insults both the audiences intellect as well undermine the disabled community. Elements of satire or humour throughout constantly revolve around the central characters predicament- often evolving into this sick kind of playground mockery that audiences are supposed to digest as entertainment?! 'lets all give the retard a sex life' lets all laugh at the slow person because he's so stupid' I constantly laughed throughout this simply because it was SOooo weak. Any intentional smutty innuendo, I didn't find humorous, it just made me angry. With a host of emotionally provocative soundtracks and back-to-basics manipulation, the gormless are sucked into a storyline which really doesn’t attempt to emphasise any point, a part from those well worn moral dilemmas for feel-good fanatics ((yawn)). Well, If you're easily sucked in by this one, my sympathys my friend! Chances are you need more help than the central character ever needed. The only audience base I can see this thing appealing to are those of an easily led disposition. The same kind of people who don't realise Grooms character is actually a very real person and some of the events depicted occured. (Thread located here [3])

Exhibit 3 - Chronicles of a Critic

Claudy's next attack was on the "Chronicles of Riddick". Regardless of whether people think he has a valid point or not, you cannot deny the venomous approach that has fast become his trademark style. Thread was titled "Ending was complete BS, don't you think ?" and read:

''So assuming that necros 'keep from what they kill', considering they obviously have freewill and also their new ruler (Riddick a "mortally weak Furyan) is an outsider & detested advisory- I was left wondering why the hell the remaining necromongers didn’t just jump Riddick & carve him up instead of standing there like idiots and eventually kneel to him. Isn't that going against half the ideology depicted in this movie. Seemed a bit stupid to me, especially when other necros were competing for rank.

Why is it in all these movies- using Conan the barbarian & even the wizard of Oz as other examples, all the remnants who were once loyal subjects to a ruler or kingdom, just bend over for new successors or walk away ? Is that some whole obligatory movie rule thing ? At least to conans credit, the subjects were under hypnotic captive- with this necro sect, you've got these half dead armies wandering around doing whatever the hell they want. The implication's that they will kill the weaker, even each other if necessary. Visuals and actions great but the story feels like it's been improvised through several chapters of this one. ''

(Thread located here [4])

And so it continued that way, with attacks on several other films, such as:

Underworld: Evolution [5]

Casino Royale [6]

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre [7]

Rocky Balboa [8]

Fight Club [9]

As Good As It Gets [10]

Troll in sheep's Clothing?

Even though his stinging attacks on films may be viewed by some as articulate and insightful, it wasn't long before many began to see the true colours of Claudy Tu. And those who would meet his posts with intelligent responses of their own would be greeted in either one of four ways; by Claudy playing dumb and pretending to not understand what was said, by snide remarks and name calling, by having spelling or grammatical errors highlighted, or by not receiving any response.

Of course, none of these matter, the bottom line is that Claudy always ducks the issue and resorts to trying to win his argument by being horrible to other posters, much like any troll would. What sets him apart from other trolls through, is that he is too dumb to see when he is beaten, constantly coming back to be humiliated again and again. This usually leads to him editing earlier posts to make himself look less stupid, or deleting posts so no one will notice that he is not as clever as he claims. A prime example of this is on the "Serenity" message board. Claudy entitled a thread "Exclusive viewing...Only for fans", which of course drew the attention of all the fans. When they opened the thread, they were treated to another harsh review of the movie. After numerous fans pointing out the holes in his review, Claudy deleted the first post to try and hide how bad he had been defeated, but still left the rest of the thread intact, where he continues to be barraged today. (See here: [11])

Other Facts

Little else is known about Claudy, only a few other bits that may or may not be true.

- He is British

- He is married

- He has a child

- He has a 16 year old sister, who ran screaming from the room at "Sin City"

- He has dated Whoopi Goldberg

- Steven Spielberg has come to him for advice before

- He works within the "business"

Irony

Whilst Claudy delights in pointing out the spelling errors of others, he sacrifices his own credibility by making similar mistakes, often in posts pointing out the error of others. Here is an absolute classic example:

In the Johnny Depps a bit of a talentless fool really... yes? on the POTC board...

"You really need to establish some basis of credibility- I mean... this isnt even a typo. See, aside from the mispelling of "imbecile" here (which really leaps out at the reader), you've also misplaced your comas. You know when you're implying someone's retarded, it sort of helps if you get the sentence structure & spelling correct ! Somedays, I despair."

Note the incorrect spelling of both "misspelling" and "comma", as well as a missing apostrophe in the first "isn't".

Epic Battles

Losing badly in the DONT WATCH THIS MOVIE thread on the "Serenity" board...

Bethpage_Black:

''Hi second-rate troll-

Since you clearly don't comprehend when there are more than a handful of words, allow me to summarize.

You opined: "Y'know, the only people who'll appreciate or accept this rubbish are those who aren't really that fussy."

whjunk answered with this list of "fussy" critics, who are not "hardcore fans":

BBC - Jonathan Trout

Dallas Morning News - Philip Wuntch

Newsday - Jan Stuart

Los Angeles Daily News - Bob Strauss

Metro Weekly - Randy Shulman

Houston Chronicle - Louis B. Parks

Detroit News - Tom Long

Toronto Star - Peter Howell

San Francisco Chronicle - Peter Hartlaub

Salt Lake Tribune - Sean Means

Chicago Tribune - Robert K. Elder

New York Times - Manohla Dargis

Los Angeles Times - Kevin Crust

Greenwich Village Gazette - Eric Lurio

You responded with this: "My name is whjunk and I need a critics review to help me decide if something is actually credible. Baaaaaaaaa (that's a sheep noise btw)."

While your response is cute in that "i'm 5 and check out my big-boy pants" kind of way, it really doesn't make sense in this discussion. Although, I can tell that the "See and Say" you got for Christmas is really paying off for you.

Care to try again?"

Claudy:

Sorry... erm bethpage, what's with the whole 80's trash talk ? (in other words, no response)

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Bethpage_Black:

Settle down there, claudy. We all know you are the only idiot on this thread. Now if you're looking for company, may I suggest the Shortbus board.

Claudy deleted his own response out of embarrassment

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In the Most irritating tat viewing ever… SPOILERS on the TCSM board...

Slainmonkey:

I didn't check what I spelt for mistakes, you are correct on that account but get over youself...you are acting like everything you say is the be all and end all of everything. Apparenly people can't have their own personal oppinion in your eyes and the instant someone calls you up on that you act like the spoiled brat you clearly are!

Claudy:

Oh shut up.. what are you, like all of 12? lol

A very mature response.

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In the same thread, Claudy gets busted by Tokyo-Vigilante:

''Why did you write just "Er.. OKaY then" and then wait a few days to add more fighting talk to your post?

Did you hope I wouldn't see it?

(I'm not commenting on what you actually wrote, because it's quite clearly juvenile.)

Claudy replied:

No. You are juvenile, you nutjob. What are you on about? I can edit a post if I want, what's your point.. do you even have one?

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In the same thread, Claudy also got bested by a poster called Ore-Sama. If you look here [12], towards the bottom of the page you'll see where Claudy has deleted his posts to try and save face.

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In the Exclusive Viewing... thread on the Serenity board...

Zombie_Ninja:

Well, a large group of my friends and I saw Serenity without having seen the series, and we understood it just fine. I would also like to point out that my sister in elementary school understood it perfectly without having seen any episodes of Firefly. Serenity is what actually got me interested in Firefly, so I was incredibly dejected when I found out that Firefly had been canceled because I had been hoping for more. Also, Claudy has said multiple times that Serenity didn't live up to all the hype. I ask, what hype? Maybe Claudy heard a lot of good stuff about it, but I barely heard anything about it. There were barely any commercials for it, and most of my friends had never even heard of it before. I actually had no idea what it was going to be about when I saw it in theaters, but I ended up falling in love with the characters and story.

Claudy's response:

Oh god the LIES, just stop it ! (Here is a man that can win any argument by logic and fact)

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In the same thread...

jdcole1978-2

You can't be bothered with it, yet you keep posting. Sounds like you're very bothered with it. Then again, you're insecure enough to post arguments from instant messenger chat logs on your profile, so we shouldn't be surprised.

Once again, Claudy deleted his own response out of embarrassment

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Also, in the same thread...

myk_bankholdup: Hahahaha! That's pretty funny.

Oh jeez I'm sorry, I'll explain why to you when you're a little bit older.

But seriously, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, IF you'll actually answer my questions properly... If you aren't a troll, then why is the post "Exclusive viewing.. ONLY for fans..", but then you claim the post isn't an attack at fans, but aimed at people who have not seen the film? ''

Claudy:

You're only 21 ??? lol (Again, another solid answer from Claudy)

Classic Claudy putdowns

"Sir, you’re a joke, an insult- please remove yourself from the thread before you embarrass yourself further. Take your japanese people carrier out for a spin, go immerse yourself in some impending mid life crisis. God, if this was me I'd hang my head in shame, really would."

"* ignore * Which is exactly what you've chosen to do, eh? Now.. should everyone else be exempt from your rule? If you knew anything about trolls, you'd realise the majority dont bother to reply to threads. Please sputter your naive dyslexic accusations elsewhere. Post history isnt indicative of anybody and where is my gender even suggested? Ughh amateurs."

Did I give you permission to watch any of those movies legendeer? er.. NO. Next time, wait for one of my reviews before viewing. God, it's like you have to put the pencil in their hands.

Yes, I often wonder, these people accuse me of having no life yet there they are- spackily tip-tapping away on their bloggs into the late hours. Pasting humiliating pictures of themselves, uploading stupid video clips of animals performing daft tricks & desperately filling out their calendars like they were conglomerate business men. I mean.. It makes me laugh, it really does heh heh

See Also

• IMDb
• Troll

Note from Myself (claudy_tu)

It's with extreme contempt I address the perpetrator of this article and others involved. Not only is this tat manipulative, deceitful and lowly but blatantly inaccurate! These kind of cowardly underhanded tactics should serve as an example to all - If you're someone of a generous disposition who's only motivation behind regular usage of an internet site is to be as informative as possible:- expect to be victimised, harassed and hounded by all manner of sad reclusive troublewhores. If I’ve learned anything from them, it’s the ability to identify & empathise with those influential people throughout history who have also experienced repeated attacks on their character and integrity. I hope whoever’s responsible and their supporters feel really proud of themselves for this grotesque misrepresentation. These people had a unique opportunity to learn from me, to broaden their intellectual horizons, yet what do they do? They mock, they taunt and make light of valuable voluntary contribution and insight. It's all been a cowardly witch hunt really.'

The above is the typical Claudy_tu tactic. When someone provides actual quotes by you, call them dishonest. And this, my friends is all the proof you would ever need.

PS- Whoopie is a monkey faced lesbian with herpes.

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