Bucky Bunny

BUCKY WATCH: The internet is currently at Bucky Alert 4

Wanted for being a bad person

Bucky Bunny, otherwise known as Pvt. Charles Alexander Bucchioni or Bucky Rabbit, is a furfag who has recently sparked up a significant amount of internet drama and fame for being a complete douchebag. Previously on the run from the police and pretty much the entire furry community, he's been convicted in furry court of the crimes of grand theft, using cocaine and generally being a bad person.

Preface: us people are honorable

A loving note to the internet from Bucky's apparent brother:

i would just like to point out that this kid has a brother(Me) and a loving family we never kicked him i love him dearly and i hope raptor Jesus brings his wrath down on all who buy this bull shit your all not perfect and we all fuck up the kid had a bad un in with drugs and dose not need to negative support of all you ass clowns his in rehab and hes doing much better im sorry for the things he did and anyone he hurt but to make a web page based on bringing down his already lower self esteem is way far beyond out of lie you people are honorable -Xuse

._. You're a douchebag, Xuse. No lie. You should probably commit to the emo plan and suicide all over your room. -Kuu

How to be the worst person ever

Step One: Become a furry. This rockets you fairly quickly down into the depths of being a complete and utter failure at life. Fortunately for us, Bucky was not content being only so low on the humanity chart.

Ergo, Step Two: Be a gigantic blithering moron and get yourself kicked out. After his parents found out their son was not just a faggot, but a furry to boot, they did the only honorable thing they could and kicked him the fuck onto the streets; mostly in hopes that he would slowly die from AIDS and reduce the furfag population ever so slightly. However, Bucky was not so dumb. He knew of the loving and gullible nature of furries, especially when prospects of buttsecks were involved. He called his good friend Quentin Coyote, who eagerly took him into his home out of the goodness of his heart, blissfully ignoring repeated warnings against such an action.

	“	Anyway, so (purportedly), his parents had just thrown him out of his house at the time, he had nowhere to go, and so he called me. I took him into my house without a moments hesitation, and there he stayed with me and Fal for the next several months completely rent free. ... We were all a cozy, happy little family, or so it seemed.	„
	—Quentin's initial warning post at Bucky Alert 5

Everything seemed to be going well, by furry standards. The assraping was plentiful and the drama was minimal, until various items of value began to mysteriously disappear. Among these items was a large fishbowl containing about $50 worth of change that was previously used for laundry. Clouded by his furry judgment, Quentin convinced himself that his other roommate and fellow furry, Fal, must have sleep-walked all the way to the laundromat with the change, did laundry, and left it there by mistake. After all, the fellow they invited into their home because he was kicked out of his parents' house (this should have been the first warning) certainly couldn't have been the culprit.

Having gotten away with his first theft scot-free, he proceeded to steal more things from around the house, including $100 which was "somehow missing out of [Fal's] wallet, around the same time". Not too long after, Bucky comes out of nowhere and gives Quentin the exact amount of money that him and Fal had been missing over the last few days as 'payment' for them putting up with him. This, of course, was another coincidence.

We're in the Army now

Private Charles Alexander Bucchioni, reporting for buttsecks

After stealing from his roommates and having sex with people from craigslist for money, Bucky suddenly 'got word' from a mysterious source that he's being shipped out to Iraq. Parties were held, and there were tearful goodbyes as he hopped on a bus to his inevitable doom. End of story, right?

A few days later, a break-in occurred in Quentin's neighbor's apartment.

	“	Someone had unscrewed the grating covering his basement window, came in through there, and had taken his xbox, all his guitar hero guitars, several of his games (but not all of them), as well as a specialty face plate for it, which Mal had kept hidden away in a very particular place, that, as he said, one would have had to have known what they were looking for. Nothing else was touched.	„
	—All obviously still a coincidence

Bucky watch

Two months later, Bucky magically showed up at a Yiffmas party. Most notable was his lack of Army-buzzed hair, although he claimed that he was on a 'special holiday leave' from Iraq. He then proceeded to get coked up to all hell and confessed the entire thing over the phone. Quentin's mind was subsequently blown, and so began Bucky Watch.

Out of concern for his fellow furries, and certainly not out of the furry rage we've all come to know and adore, Quentin made this LiveJournal post documenting just how terrible Bucky is. The post was initially made private to friends only (except Bucky). But Quentin's rage got the best of him, and he soon made the post public, broadcasting it to his hundreds of internet friends, along with this followup:

	“	Is a liar and a thief (And, quite possibly, a whore, in the literal Websters definition of the word). If you allow him into your home, he will use you and steal from you. Many of you already know this, without my even telling you. If you don't, then the purpose of this post is meant to serve as a warning, so that you do not get played the same way by him, as we did here. More information on this topic, from sources other than myself, will be forthcoming shortly over the next couple of days or so. In the meantime, I invite anyone else who wishes to do so, to come forth now and testify with their evidence/horror stories about Bucky (First hand accounts, or well-substantiated knowledge only, please.)	„
	—Quentin's second public service announcement, now at Bucky Alert 4

Beyond this, things start to calm down on the Bucky front. Drama begins winding down, and he starts un-friending people from his ginormous friends list.

THIS IS TIME-CRITICAL

Furry justice at its best

Noting a severe lack of drama in the furry realm, on January 4th, 2008, Bucky struck again. But this time, he wasn't just after change bowls and wallets. He went after fucking everything.

	“	Bucky Rabbit / Bucky Bunny, A.K.A. Charles Bucchioni is a thief. He broke into the apartment of Quentin Mohos and Iddo Geva and stole all of their games, consoles, hard drives and graphics cards. The theft was EXTREMELY SPECIFIC, Charles knew exactly how to get in, when they would be gone, how long he had, and precisely where everything was hidden.	„
	—Ionotter, posting an all points bulletin on Quentin's behalf

Ionotter's post spread through LiveJournal like cancer on steroids. Hundreds of furries began posting the same damn thing over and over, filling people's friends pages with vigilante-style wanted posters. Thousands of replies were made over all of these posts, mostly consisting of "WE'RE KEEPING AN EYE OUT IN CAMBRIDGE, MASS" and "if we see him in London, we'll kick his ass." A few select furries replied with anger over all the attention the subject was getting.

	“	I GET IT I GET IT. BUCKY IS OUT ROBBING AND RAPING PEOPLE. I FUCKING GET IT. STOP POSTING THAT STUPID WANTED POSTER EVERYWHERE. ... There is seriously no need for this god awful vigilantism over a guy who...if you are a true liberal (wink, wink), is innocent until proven guilty in a court of law.	„
	—nothingkat, taking George Bush's dick out of his mouth long enough to comment on the situation

We're here to help

Naturally, the whole situation has dredged up furries who believe that Bucky isn't really a whore/thief/liar/shithead, and he just needs help. Numerous posts on Bucky's journal offer moral support, and some right out defend the fucker despite the overwhelming support for kicking him in the balls to death.

This support was not enough, however. Because of Bucky Watch, googling Bucky's real name yields catastrophic results. After the initial "I'm goin' to Iraq guyz thanks for the xbox" incident, Bucky apparently fled to Florida to stay with a 'non-fur friend' as a house boy, doing chores in return for his stay. Bucky eventually turned tail and ran, only after figuring out how to open the safe and steal a couple thousand dollars and some jewelry. This 'friend' apparently tried googling Bucky's name and came up with the ever-famous wanted poster. He, along with Florida police, contacted Fal to make sure the call was legitimate, and thus the list of states in which Bucky is wanted grows ever larger.

In his LJ post, Fal thanks the furry community for being able to spread gossip like wildfire, and also tells us about yet another confession of Bucky being AWOL from the military. And even after stealing tens of thousands of dollars from several people, Bucky plans on getting back to Iraq.

	“	Ohh and on a side note, this person said that Bucky had told him that he was AWOL from the Army National Guard since he didn't want to go to Iraq, but was supposedly in contact with them to try and smooth his way back in.	„
	—Fal, aka Iddo Giva, keeping the furry community updated like a good citizen

I'm sure the Army would understand completely, if Bucky were actually planning on going back. Apparently, he's been calling people and asking them to "'just go with it' if he calls them 'Sir', or says things like Yes, Sergeant!'"

To add to the bullshit, being AWOL for over thirty days becomes desertion, meaning he'll be turning his next tricks in Fort Leavenworth. Not quite "just goin' with it."

Busted!

Thank to the Furry Gossip Network, Bucky had apparently spent the next couple of weeks living on the streets and turning tricks in exchange for crack and sandwiches. When hobos got tired of sub-par blowjobs, Bucky needed to turn back to his old ways. Clearly in his right mind, he attempted to break into some of Quentin's old furfag roommates to steal, most specifically, a laptop. Fortunately, Bucky's cracked out brain couldn't work out how to get past glass, and was caught due to a call from the victims' neighbors.

Quentin could barely comment because of his furry sex convention, but nothingkat made sure to try and keep himself validated.

	“	Now I know this almost ironic seeing my previous post about Bucky was about how annoying his wanted poster was seeing it all over livejournal. Well let me tell you that if WE couldn't recognize him, those pictures on the wanted posters sure wouldn't help all that much. He seriously looked as if he had been homeless for the past couple of weeks. ... I'm sure this will somehow make it to that ridiculous Enyclopedia Dramatica entry so I just want to take my time to say that ED is not funny. ... Oh and I did not have sexual relations with that man, George Bush.	„
	—nothingkat, trying to covertly change his mind about everything

Bucky is currently being held in New Jersey, where, in addition to submitting written confessions, he has now pleaded guilty to all of the above crimes, in an attempt at doing it for the lulz. He is being held without bail, until his sentencing on Aug 1st 2008. Once NJ is done with him, he may or may not be extradited to Florida, to face additional charges there. Normally of course, just being in New Jersey would be punishment enough. But after all, he is a faggot, and deserves all the assraping he can handle.

Current events

• Bucky has stolen approximately $17,500.00 worth of games and software, as well as thousands of dollars in cash, credit cards and jewelry.
• He is AWOL from the NY Army National Guard Has apparently been given a hardship discharge.
• He may be in Georgia, staying with Divefox
• Dumbass got himself caught breaking into the NYC apartment of Quentin's former furfag room mates
• According to Bucky's journal, he is currently in Connecticut on probation.

NOT a Faggot?

Recently, it's been discovered that Bucky may not be a faggot, He might be a 'Bisexual' Pedo.

Almost 100 years ago, Bucky contacted a lonely loli ( See Fat ) and proceeded to tell her of his 'army life' and pretend he didn't want to buttsecks her to avoid a possible Chris Hansen. ( Though she was totally asking for it, amirite?). By Last Thursday, he thought he had said loli's trust and began repeatedly giving her a credit card number, offering to buy her hundreds of dollars in sex toys in exchange to see pictures of and watch her on cam using them, though she never did buy the toys. This odd 'relationship' lasted up until he got kicked out of his parents home for being a furfag pedo.

From Bucky

Thanks to Bucky bragging to fucking everyone about how he was released and thinking he just served time for a misdemeanor, Quentin called the NJ police, who in turn called the NYPD, who called Bucky in on a routine check, where they THREW HIS ASS BACK IN JAIL.

Bucky is still charged, is still awaiting trial, and reports have him going to NJ for MORE CHARGES, then off to Florida to be completely fucked up with EVEN MORE CHARGES.

Bucky is looking at a lot of jail rape at this point, and is expected to get AIDS.

External links

• Bucky's novel of a Livejournal
• Quentin's journal and goto source for Bucky news and Muslim support
• 2 Gryphon voices his edgy opinion about all this like he does for everything else
• Bucky fails hard at trolling Quentin.
• Another troll makes an attempt, ends up pwning himself instead.
• The Internets speak to Bucky.
• Bucky's looking for love ~

Bucky Bunny is part of a series on Furfaggotry Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage.

Featured article January 10, 2008
Preceded by Ron Paul	Bucky Bunny	Succeeded by Fandom Secrets