Bebo

ED's official Bebo page is now accepting Bebo death cult requests.

Is it just me?

Bebo is a sanctuary for suicidal youths and camwhores who think they are cult enthusiasts who discuss and enact the most gruesome way to become an heroes. Unlike MySpace, there is no semblance of order on bebo, and any abuse thrown out by any user is completely ignored by the phantom admins that the site is supposedly managed by. For some reason, the majority of users are from the UK and Ireland. Be warned: to read many Bebo pages, you will need a code-cracker, due to the bizarre mangling of the English language therein. The majority of girl users on Bebo think it is SUPEH CUUL to take pics of themselves with a mobile phone while looking into a mirror— not realizing how much of a twat it makes them look. It is mainly populated by chavs and lesser emos who all proclaim themselves to be special and unique.

zOMGz NEWSFLASH - Bebo Death Cult!

camwhore much?

An hero, every one.

Last Thursday a Welsh 16 year old girl known on Bebo as "sxiwildchild" joined six other emofags from her village in becoming an hero, triggering yet another old media Zerg rush to blame the Internets for all the world's fail, because, like, they all used the same social networking site and the Internets are evil.

Naturally, this immediately lead to such lulzworthy comments from politicians and police as "I'm particularly concerned about this false romanticism of the memory wall that seems to have set up on Bebo giving some sort of romantic idea of suicide and not conveying the huge tragedy and wasted lives that we are looking at here" and "we urge parents to be vigilant". PROTIP, we're talking about kids from Wales here, their lives weren't set to amount to a huge deal in the first place. More importantly, what the fuck were they doing with computers in the first place? It's not like there's any electricity there to run them on.

Following this latest suicide, sxiwildchild's BFF decided she wanted some of the action too, so indulged in a little light self harm. This conclusively proves that Bebo will be the starting point of the forthcoming Emogeddon.

Most likely reasons for Deaths:

• The Bebo Leekspin Application

Confirmed kills

• Dale Crole, 18
• David Dilling, 19
• Thomas Davies, 20
• Zachary Barnes, 17
• Liam Clarke, 20
• Gareth Morgan, 27 (note the age gap, possible pedophile)
  
• Natasha Randall, 17
• Madeleine McCann, 4
• Sam Leeson, 13

Rustling up these Bebo users' pages in order to spam the crap out of their "remembrance walls" is left as an exercise for the reader. Add screencaps of the lulz to this article as you do, or it didn't happen, kthnx

Moar, Oh Yesh Plz

BBC News article: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/7204172.stm
Moar lulz at Reuters: http://www.reuters.com/article/internetNews/idUSL2355551020080123

List of Trolls

• James Green
• Vladimir Lenin
• Adolf Hitler
• Hope Dixon
• Big Hungry Scumbag
• J Stalin Lulz
• Gods Army
• Pedo-Bear
• Mo Lester
• Hank Palooka

OH SHIIIIII-

The moralfags of A Bebo Concerned have taken it upon themselves to baww to the party van over their repeated rape at the hands of the aforementioned trolls, many accounts have been banned and locked, pending 'investigation' by the Police, which are British - so there is no need to be concerned for the trolls. Around 30 trolls have been felled in battle.

Apparently however, it was not the bawwing of A Bebo Concerned that drew the police to investigate, it was actually some CP stored on some Pedos account.

Phantom Admins

Although the site says it possesses admins or people with positions of equal importance, this is simply untrue, no one cares enough about the kids of Bebo to protect them from the true horrors of the internet and save them from an heriosm to come in later life. On rare occasions, these mythical creatures will creep out of their holes and take up the banhammer because you were reported for supporting Leeds United. If you appeal, you will receive an automated message informing you that the matter is closed. You can either continue appealing to these microchips and wires for your account or, if you aren't sick of Bebo already, spend 3 minutes making a new one.

Troll bait

Chris Falconer

Chris grease-face

Bebo is known to have easy targets for trolling, such as the infamous Chris Falconer, who often spammed numerous debate-orientated groups with his Socialist rhetoric and finally had enough when a certain user caught him with his pants down and as a result he permanently fucked off due to being pwned too hard. It should also be noted that Chris' mother is a nigger and his girlfriend has more grease on her face than a McDonald's grill.

• Chris' Twitter [1]

Sare Heed

Another infamous user would be Sare Heed, a 30 year old drug user who openly admitted to being a dole-sponger and proud of it, and when Hank Palooka trolled him to death he threatened to beat his ass, the result was a barrage of lulz which only made poor Sare Heed more frustrated.

Michael McHugh (Lord Syko)

Lord Syko following in his father's footsteps

On the 19th of June, 1992, in Londonderry, Great Britain, a child called Michael McHugh was born to alcoholics Trish Kindelan and her husband. Lord Syko suffered a troubled life at the hands of his drunk father, who would come home each night and beat his wife and son. Diagnosed with autism at the age of 6, Lord Syko would ave great difficultly socially interacting with the local children of his hometown of Carlton Drive, Strabane, Great Britain.

Lord Syko was raised a Catholic and attended Holy Cross College in Strabane. After being bullied in school and failing numerous subjects - like math and English, Lord Syko decided to deliberately get expelled from school by behaving disruptively and telling teachers to "fuck off". Many believe this act of rebellion against authority gave birth to his rebellious attitude that would eventually transform into anarchism. Lord Syko would attempt to preach about his beliefs, but, usually, would end up praising America and agreeing with everything his capitalist idol and lover Hank Palooka would say.

Sometime in 2009, Lord Syko would become a full-time Bebo devotee and spend most of his day on a group called Debate Central. On there, Lord Syko would, again, find himself the victim of bullying as would arrogantly proclaim that he had an excellent understanding of psychology, a brilliant grasp of the English language - despite his inability to know when to punctuate his sentences, usage of TXT SPEK and frequently use words out of context - and he believe he could manipulate all this to "accomplish the task of trolling". Of course, this all completely backfired as Lord Syko would succumb to the trolling antics of other Debate Central members: The Screaming Ninja, Second Coming, Slicker Than Your Average, many others lesser-known trolls and even AFX/Mirror Man/Anne-Marie.

Even though Lord Syko has been bullied by nearly every chav in Strabane, he considered himself "cool", "hip" and "down with the times" due to his recreational drug-abusing lifestyle and passion for heavy metal music. Irrespective being an anti-capitalist and an atheist, Lord Syko worshiped corporate nu metal band Shiknot and was too stupid to notice the irony of it all. While only just turned 17 years old, Lord Syko would also claim he isn't a virgin, even though he spend most of his days on bebo or playing computer games like Call of Duty, Metal Gear Solid and World of Warcraft. Not one single person on Debate Central believed he has had consensual sex with the opposite sex.

The hypocrisy didn't stop there, it was also reveled Lord Syko's mother received financial assistance from the British government despite Lord Syko being an anti-statist. Further controversy would arise when Lord would claim to be entitled to these welfare payments due him being diagnosed with autism even though Lord Syko was attending a normal public school with the normal kids of Strabane. The controversy continued when - at the age of 16 - Lord Syko admitted his addiction to Jack Daniels whiskey and cannabis - all, of course, paid for by the tax-payer as his mother would give him the money she received off the state for having a retarded son.

Lord Syko considers himself to be Irish, but many believe this is a ploy to make him eligible for welfare in the Republic of Ireland. It is clear Lord Syko is loyal to his British identity as he is more than content to claim welfare off the British government despite the Irish welfare system being substantially more generous.

As of May 2013, it is apparent Lord Syko is still doing nothing with his life, as he was found indulging in his old habits of sitting on Bebo at 5 a.m. and at 11 a.m. on weekdays.

• Lord Syko's Bebo [2]
• Lord Syko's Facebook [3]
• Lord Syko's YouTube account [4]

Conspiracy fags

A small minority of Bebo's population believe that the world is ruled by lizards, and these certain people have many similarities, such as habits like taking drugs, being Jew haters, having no fear when people troll them, not being able to speak proper English, and black person.

Memorial groups

The majority of the groups on Bebo consist of memorials for an heroes that have passed before us, and these are very pitiful as every underage boy or girl on the internet swarms to apologize poorly of e-weep over the death of an unloved one. All the other groups are just a poorly seasoned user of the tubes pretending to be a shit band and lauding gr8ness and rock out but everyone knows Fall out Boy and Marylin Manson don't use Bebo. Many lolfags such as polish memeigrants DO use bebo, such as this young Bumlover and his douche-patrol friends http://www.bebo.com/Profile.jsp?MemberId=17901174

Typing

of course the most important part of any bebo profile is how you type your profile or comments

there's the Y0z cUZZy BrO Ims Da stuPIDs as NIGger (also applied by white trash)

or †hê ¢ðñ£µ§ïñg §hï† ñð ðñê ¢åñ rêåÐ (also popular with niggers and white trash)

or the ever popular haha try reading my profile with lines through all the words

and we can't forget [x] im emo \F/ (or something like that im not emo so i don't know how to type like a fucking retard)DISREGARD THAT YES I DO.

LOL ART THIEVES

On June 22nd, 2007, Kawaii Kitsune posted a news item on DeviantART about how many members of bebo went and "stole" mediocre art of both official and fan characters created by shit Sonic artists, recoloring them badly and claiming that it was theirs. It goes to show how much fail bebo is... they fail so much at art (and life) that they can't even summon enough creative energy to create their own shitty Sonic recolors with animu hair and boobs. Instead, they have to steal the shitty recolors made by tartlets. But the butthurt that resulted makes the victims of the theft just as much fail.

While a few non-fail tartlets pointed out that fan characters are already unimaginative as it is and that they should stop, most of them displayed the typical butthurt and Internet tough guy comments, as well as pointing out the obvious.

A few of the lulziest comments:

• Oh noes he's gonna rip out their colons!
• ANTI-ART-THIEVES TO THE RESCUE!!!!1one
• Why this guy thought anyone would steal his shit is beyond me.
• The irony here is almost sickening.
• OMG HE KNOWS A 1337 H4X0R THEY'RE GONNA GET IT NOW

Also, it seems that most skins on Bebo are actually ripped off from design site such as Naked and Angry, and Threadless. Shows how much effort these fuckers they put in the skins. Most of the time, the shit on their skins talk about the vomiting and shitting of rainbows.

The Phishing Copypasta

We have encountered suspicious activity on your account. Because of this, we will need to verify your account. Luckily, it is a relatively short process. Please reply typing NOTHING but your email, followed by your password, followed by your username. This is an automated message, so please do not reply saying anything else, and make sure your account details are correct.

Your details are safe and secure with us,

The Bebo team.

Courtesy of Funions and #bebo

ZOMG GIMME LUV

• Luv 1
• Luv 2
• Luv 3

YAYZ I HAS 4!!!! I WANTS MORE NOW! NGGGG!

Operation Pandora's Boxxy

THIS NEVER HAPPENED> A BAG O SHIT. This group ist kvlt though. The fuck is this shit? Proof of the happening of this undertaking: Offended. Also evidence can be seen on numerous camwhore groups.

Bebo summed up

Its shit, go outside and talk to girls. If you're over 19 and use bebo is recommended you progress straight to the grave.

Bebo death notice

And now it's being shut down probably [5].

Gallery

• 
  Good news
• 
  They care enough to send an automated response. Aw.
• 
  Someone had it coming
• 
  Trying to be funny, bitch nigga?
• 
  Very caring

See Also

• Bebo Concerned
• Facebook
• Friendster
• MySpace

External Links

• Hot American girls first lesbian experience.
• Bebo
• ED's official Bebo
• Leekspin App
• Rickroller App Rickroll people who come to your page
• Bloody Barbara
• [6] Country Boys group

Bebo is part of a series on Social Media Visit the Social Media Portal for complete coverage.