Registration has been disabled and the moderation extension has been turned off.
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.

Crystal ball

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
This is an old revision of this page, as edited by imported>Sickpuppy at 01:24, 15 March 2014. It may differ significantly from the current revision.
Jump to navigation Jump to search
A crystal ball. Since balls are touching her hands, it is only not gay because she is female. She is also 65 years old, too, and has decades of experience in massaging balls.
Notice how it's not the Wikipedia globe logo she is holding. This is because a crystal ball is one of the things that WIKIPEDIA IS NOT, and is serious business.

A crystal ball is what those who consider themselves to have esoteric knowledge gaze into. They can see for at least 100 years into the future, and can predict things such as death and when you will get raped in the ass. They can tell you whether you will be rich with lots of cash, or just an alcoholic hobo with no prospects and no future.

This website

Asstrology (F.A.O. all Cunts)

Also known as the science of whoreroscopes, studies the phenomena that a galactic crab that gave your mother cancer on her concaved tits (that’s a dent for you scientifically illiterate black person) can predict with absolute fail that a faggot believer will be able to tell their personality by what month their genetically defect faggot hippies mom and dad had sex.

Although the white master race with their superior science cocksider whoreroscopes as pseudoscience, the believers (man whores) usually dismiss this by claiming:“FUCK YOU, THIS IS SPARTA!” which clearly indicates their fondness to big Mediterranean men with big man bulges wearing skirts and say this is normal.

A proponent of astrology, Carl Jung, now absolutely dead (if you don’t who know he is then you are a poor retard who don’t have access to education and clean water, most likely a nigger, a yellow gook, a Muslim, or a woman) claimed that “his soul-image or anima with whom he mistakenly identifies. And I, Mephistopheles, am, Faust’s own shadow” which made prefect faggot sense and then say butt-rape is normal.

Bill Nye Pwns Astrology

On his children's show, the Eye of Nye, Bill Nye clearly explained why astrology is full of shit by pointed out the obvious, that the constellations have moved from their original dates, and thus people are not the zodiac signs they thought they were. This caused massive butthurt and identity crises among astrofags everywhere and they keep flooding this video to this very day.

   
 
scientism is the ultimate disease. Out to disregard everything under the guise of non-proof
 

 
 

—Abyss Reflector, unaware that "scientism" is what gives him the food, clean water, and shelter that allows him to survive on a day to day basis.

   
 
Ah... a shining example of sciences' failures.
 

 
 

—James Swanson, an obvious failure

   
 
I AM NOT A LIBRA!!!
 

 
 

—Every butthurt "Scorpio" ever

   
 
A fun thing to do when someone asks you your sign is to lie and tell them you're something completely different. Then you get to be entertained as the deluded moron makes a fool of him/herself by lighting up and saying "I KNEW IT!"
 

 
 

—chronicprocrastina has the right idea

   
 
He's wrong regarding how this information applies to astrology. "Western astrologers don't work with stars or constellations. Their focus is our solar system. They study the patterns of the planets and the moon as they pass through 12 zones defined by the relationship between the Earth and sun. Those zones have the same names as constellations because of a historical quirk, but they are unrelated to the constellations." from: freewillastrologycom
 

 
 

—Kari May unintentionally explains why astrology makes no sense

   
 
Bill Nye is a Sagittarius. His body type and cranial structure prove this. He has multiple placements in Sagittarius and Mars in Libra which is in detriment, leads to poor musculature.
 

 
 

—TheAstrocologist still relying on phrenology


Crystal ball is part of a series on

Wikipedia

Visit the Wikipedia Portal for complete coverage.