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Colegio Cervantes shooting
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This person has Assburgers Syndrome, so you can't say anything bad! :-( Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck. |
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HIS FAMILY WERE NARCOS AND HE GOT THE GUNS THERE!!! |
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|---|---|
| José Ángel Ramos Betts | |
| Nationality: | Mexican 
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| Highscore | A teacher on her knees |
| Top 50? | FUCK NO |
| Style | Single player |
| An Hero? | Yep |
On the faithful morning of January 10, 2020, just mere days before Coronachan would dominate us all, our youngest challenger would go on to perpretrate a mass shooting, that despite fragged 1, caused massive lulz in North America (specifically the Spanish-speaking). This challenger is José Ángel Ramos Betts, who had already gotten a sub-section on Columbine Copycats, born and raised in Mexico since 2008, he was too retarded to do anything but playing Fortnite. This mass shooting occurred in the city of Torrèon, specifically in one of the secondary schools, Colegio Cervantes. This case is popular due to three factors:
- Perpretrator is a LOLumbine copycat
- It occured in the same nation as the Colegio Americano del Noreste shooting, also same kill counts
- Perpretrator is 11, world record for youngest school shooter
—José before the shooting | ||
Previous Quote | Next Quote
A boy of many faces (and problems)
On April 8 of 2008, in the shitty town of Torrèon, Mexico, there was a little kid that was just born, that seems so cute! Too bad we're talking about this article's main person, José. So, why did this kid sperg out? Well, the story is long, but let's make it short. Some people say it's vidya, some people say it's his narco family, but this guy was so fucked up in many ways that not only being an aspie affected him but:
- He played Fortnite extensively all day, causing retardening chemicals in your brain to pop up
- His mom epicly an heroine'd for the Lulz
- His father was always absent so he had to stay with the uncle
- His grandmother was murdered epicly
Not much is known of the perpretrator other than that, but we do know that his father has been arrested for drug trafficking, their family was super rich due to that, and the shooting just made them get arrested lmao[1] This kiddie was very fond of Eric Harris, one of the LOLumbine shooters, which is one of the factors that caused massive lulz.[2].
The shooting
At exactly 8AM of January 10, 2020, our challenger asked his teacher for permission to pee-pee, and she let him go. Little did she know this manlet would fuck her life up permanently. Since he's slow in everything (even in thinking proccesing), he spent too much time larping as Eric Harris and loading his guns, that the teacher went to look for him, but he finished reloading JUST IN TIME to start the shooting, saying: "Today is the day". Injuring her badly (couldn't even finish her off, smh), he went to a nearby classroom and just started to SHOOT FUCKING EVERYTHING, injuring 5 classmates and his P.E teacher. Afterwards he was walking in the hallway almost an hero'ing, when his English teacher came up to him on her knees sucking his cock, begging him to stop. But José was already mad that he couldn't kill anyone cause he was a dipshit, so he epicly put the gun in her mouth and killed her. After that, he shot himself in the eye to do two things:
- An hero
- Forget wtf happened with his teacher
And that ended the life of José, born retarded, died retarded. After 2 years, he got his own article here cause he's a bit lulzy.
Reactions
Mexican President Andrés Manuel López Obrador loved the event and said this in regards: "LET'S FUCKING GO THIS IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN THAT SHITTY FEDERICO ELIZONDO YAY" His wife didn't agree and lamented the shooting, lamenting the fact that parents don't check kid's backpacks. The Governor of Coahuila Miguel Ángel Riquelme Solís liked it too secretly, and in regards of him being a Columbine copycat, said this: "lol natural selection hehehe"
What about our reaction? We don't like this retard, he couldn't even finish his classmates off!
Graded Score
| Graded score | |
|---|---|
| Kill count: | 1/20 1 frag |
| Accuracy: | 0/20 Got a kill from someone in her knees lmao |
| Style: | 4/20 Cockumbine copycat and narco family |
| Butthurt: | 5/20 Lulz in Mexico but that's it |
| Bonus: | 2/20 Killed a cock-sucking teacher |
| Total score: 12/100 (F-) | |
Police action
Wanted Level:
Police Force