Emoticon

As the name suggests, Emo On The Internet Icons or Emoticons (sometimes called smileys, which is ridiculous as not all of them are fucking smiling) are the only way to express human emotion OTI, as shortly after Al Gore invented the Internets, he passed a law stating that everything on it must be shortened to an acronym. Complex feelings, such as <3 and h8 are no exception, and so arose the age of the emoticon.

Origin Of The :)

The smiley, like many other worthless inventions, was invented in Pittsburgh.

	“	19-Sep-82 11:44 Scott E Fahlman :-) From: Scott E Fahlman <Fahlman at Cmu-20c> I propose that the following character sequence for joke markers: :-) Read it sideways. Actually, it is probably more economical to mark things that are NOT jokes, given current trends. For this, use :-(	„
	—Carnegie Mellon University message board, 19 September 1982

Because of the general IQ around CMU, it took a while to get across to the other students that he meant to look at it with your head tilted to the left, and not as a dick fucking the underside of a dome.

Disregard that, I suck cocks

In fact, emoticons were invented by bored telegraph operators back in the fucking 19th Century.

Common Emoticons

Real life example of the XD smiley. X) is better though.

File:1204733738114.jpg

Example of the XD smiley. Or the Japanese masturbation joke.

:l3 Can also be used to signify a ballsac on your chin.

:)

The traditional "smiley". Used to denote a lack of ability to provide an intelligent response. Similar to lol.

(:

The reversed "smiley". Only girls and gays use these.

:(

Emo, usually suicidal tendency.

=]

Troll smile.

:-)

Smiley with a nose. Most commonly used by your mom in funny emails she forwarded from the office.

:'(

Holy shit! Run before you get their whole emo life-story.

;(

Severely emotionally impaired, if someone uses this pretend you didn't see it. It's for your own safety, people.

O.o

Alien for the sentence: "I once used to be human, but four tentacles entered my ass, and one of them might enter you."

:*

The writer has been punched in the mouth. Or has an asshole mouth.

8)

The writer is looking at 13 year old boys, loli or your mom.

:D~~

The writer is drooling over 13 year old boys, loli or your mom.

:-J

The writer is Chris Hansen of Dateline NBC, preparing to bust someone drooling over 13 year old boys, loli or your mom.

<(^.^<)

Cry for help; direct to this website.

t('.'t)

Speaks for itself really. Correct response to any emoticon of the previous variety.

(>'.')>-I----- t('.'t)

Used whenever you want to rob someone with a sword over the internet.

(>^.^(>O_o)>

Buttsecks.

┌║┐(•_•)┌║┐

For saying "Fuck You" to the previous post.

:X

Commonly used to show that one's lips are sealed with packaging tape. Possibly BDSM, possibly kidnap victim. Probably both.

:P

The writer has some sort of disability that prevents keeping tongue in own mouth. Alternatively, the tongue might be in someone else's mouth.

:L

The result of a failed attempt at creating a laughing face which resulted in something looking like a guy having a stroke. Using this as a laughing emoticon will make you look like a complete fucktard.

>:(

The writer is angry. Or constipated. Or both.

:<

Homosexual cousin of >:(

:S

Someone skeeted or shit in or around the general vicinity of my mouth. Oht3hnoes.

D:

I'm sad. But I'll still suck your cock. Generally used by your mom.

<='C

BAWWWW

:@

The writer is about to go down on a huge black cock.

;)

Wink and/or punch in the eye. Occasionally has sexual connotations.

(||)

A klarawagnerish girl.

:/

A shrug, sometimes showing a lack of satisfaction with a recent comment or service.

:|

Similar to the above, only much less satisfied.

:F

Similar to the above, only much moar Rootbrian.

:E

The current ultimate smiley.

8E

Dat Ass

>:/

Josef Fritzl. Commonly used in Australia.

XD

This is a punctuation mark XD should be used at the end of every sentence XD see thirteen year old boy XD

P:

Tongue licking cum off face. Similar to DevianTart's :P smiley.

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

LOL SO RANDUM XDDDDDDDDDD

OGC

The most common response to getting on the internet.

'/////';

The Kaputsky.

:B

The writer is a redneck. Internet, moar like INBREDnet, amirite?

D8

The phrase "D8" means to be deeply involved in an activity or to perform an activity to the fullest extent possible.

:Q

Common response after one views Tubgirl for the first time.

\m/

The writer likes My Chemical Romance, or some equally faggy band.

$.$

Use this one when viewing Jailbait.

^_^

Japanofag emoticon, used by anime fags when they can't think of anything to say. Often mistaken for :3 (aka Kawaii).

^_________________^

The moar underscores, the kawaiier!!!

>.<;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

EVEN l33t MASTERS GET NERVOIS.

/^==^\

furry

8 [ o ]

IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER

(T_T) or ;_;

The emoticon of emo anime fags. ;_; is also used in conjunction with "life-like texture".

〒_〒

The Emoticon of Evolved Weeaboo, made from the Yuubin Postal Mark.

@w@

A mystery emoticon used to show allegiance to Amuria

o.O

Shorthand for "Yo momma got one big tittie, and one little tittie, and they call the bitch "Biggie Smalls". Can also be written: ( . Y o )

(_o_)

Emoticon representing gaping assholes.

\:D/

Is supposed to be an orgasmically happy face throwing his/her arms in the air with joy, but in fact just looks like a happy sandwich.

8==D O8

Replace any given emoticon with the I'm-about-to-be-raped-in-the-mouth-smiley for great justice.

\{(0)}/

Vagina for the eChallenged.

@/@

0

Oh noes

B^U

:3

Ostensibly means "I AM CLEVER", but really can be used in any context. For example,

I am the firestarter. Twisted firestarter. :3
Who is John Galt? :3
Mother died today. :3
In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I've been turning over in my mind ever since. :3

Occasionally used by furfags to make a cat face.

>:3

JESUS CHRIST IT'S A LION GET IN THE CAR!

:#

I GOTZ A GRILL MA NIGGA

>:[ ]

I'm gonna suck your ~~blood~~ dick!

>:-[

SRS BSNS

>:O

RAGE

>O

Azn RAGE

:DS<

Crazy wavy rubber arms.

>:O-8O-{~:c

Woman giving birth to an unhappy baby.

8=========D

The person is a nigger.

(_(_)lllllllD

When 8========D just doesn't cut it.

<3=====D

Heartdong is made of heart and dong

(_)_)XXXXXXXD

HELP MY PENIS IS STUCK IN A CHINESE FINGER TRAP!

( . Y . )

LOL boobs

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Butterfly! fags

I_O_I

I need TP for my bunghole!

¬_¬

Generally used to portray "You best be jokin', nigger."

>:V

YOU SAID THERE WOULD BE CAKE

￣ω￣

Dude... I am *SO* high right now...

|-|

A stupid emotion that aim invented for cassette tape how many people use this?

(V);,,,;(V)

Dr. Zoidberg

ಠ.ಡ

retard

ಥಿ೪ಥ

Moar retard

¯\(°_o)/¯

How Do I Shot Web?

¯\(ºдಠ)/¯

I dunno lol after going through the Internet Hate Machine...again

8U

Ultimate horror, possibly rape

ಠ_ಠ

ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ

ದ_ದ

nuthin

ಷ_ಷ

Scratch eyes plz?

ಠ_ರೃ

monocle

ಗ್ಲಿ_ಗ್ಲಿ

Balls 2 Face :D

۞_۟۞

First time seeing Goatse

~~C================================================3

Your first time seeing Goatse

(☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞

pointing to the right

≧▽≦

orgasm

+O

OMG Cyclops roars.

In no way should you ever attempt to use emoticons IRL.

Σ:3

Kitteh :D

;x

Use this if you're a gay

ಭ_ಭ

titeyes

గ_గ

16-year-old girl

ঞ_ঞ

≖_≖

I see what you did there.

ళ_ళ

๏_๏

wut

ફ_ફ

ಗ_ಗ

ಞ_ಞ

ச_ச

ঢ_ঢ

ळ_ळ

Shepard

ର_ର

ଲ_ଲ

jellyfish eyes

ಱ_ಱ

ಲ_ಲ

(See Jigglypuff on right.)

ਘ_ਘ

ਝ_ਝ

ങ_ങ

ക_ക

Dick eyes?

\(╬ ಠ益ಠ)/

Angry anal rape, I think?

(ﾉಥ益ಥ）ﾉ ┻━┻

Table flip!

ಠ益ಠ︻デ═一

Angry motherfucker with a BB gun

٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶

bitch please im a ninja

(๏̯͡๏)

h...hissy...? ;_;

: (|)

I just fucked a nigger.

<3

Testicles in an ice cream cone

(´･ω･｀)･ω･ヘ)

Confused Bear likes Anal?

ヘ(^_^ヘ)(ノ^_^)ノ

NewFag Dance

(,,#ﾟДﾟ)ノ

Catch That Nigger!

( 　ﾟ,_ゝ,ﾟ)

New ;_;

(・_・)ノ⌒

meh

(･_･三･_･)

Twins?

(☞ ಥ益ಥ）☞ ︻╦̵̵͇̿̿̿̿╤──

When fire doesn't work

:^)

⎝⏠⏝⏠⎠

I'm on facebook and I found these giant characters that can be made to resemble a face.

Common Jewmoticons

.{:r)}}

Orthodox hooknose Jew

$r)

A hooknose Jew that just got ten dollars. Also called "the Lowtax"

ಶೃಶ

Suspicious hooknose Jew

סּﬞ_סּ

wut

✡_✡

jew

^ಏ^

Weeajew

Graphical And Animated Emoticons

Many complex emotions are represented here, including Homosexuality, Infantilism, Furry, and the ever-popular "masturbating in the bath while listening to music".

As emoticons evolved, they were replaced by graphical representations, and eventually animated GIFs. This allowed for even more flexibility in illustrating an ever wider gamut of emotions, from happiness to "Fuck you, I'm a dragon!"

Jew, charging money for downloadable sets of smileys, for use on AIM, Yahoo and MSN Messenger. These are still wildly popular with 16 year old girls and pedophiles alike. For the non-retarded Internets user who knows things like that should be free there's always DeviantART.

Image Macro Emoticons

In shitholes like 4chan, emoticons are replaced with image macros and spammed incessantly. Here are what some mean.

Gallery About missing Pics