Frank Garrett

Frank Garrett was an old construction worker for Duncan Construction who was oft annoyed by prank callers. He was known for his eloquent diction and brilliant linguistic skills.

From humble beginnings

Back in 2008 in the year of Our Lord Frank Garrett, a youtuber named W3baholicx made a seemingly typical soundboard prank (using Deacon Frost from the movie Blade) to a random Oklahoman construction company. What he uncovered was one of the most lulzy and exploitable men the internet has ever known. The rest is history.

Select Lines

Yesh.
This is a business phone, get off of it.
Hey does your momma still got, uh, worms crawlin' out her pushy?
Well I don't give a shit.
Don't call me anymore you stupid cocksucker.
This is Frank Garrett
Now listen you stupid son of a bitch, I've never called you before, and goddammit, you...bitch about it every third day you call me so fuck you!
Did your momma let you out of your cage again, goddammit!?
You goddamn stupid son of a bitch you.
Hey you stupid son of a bitch I've never called your howsh.
Do what?
Y-You're out of your mind, buddy, I don't even have a 'dozer and I don't do dirt work.
I don't even advertise in Texas, how'd you get my name?
Well I can't understand ya'.
Duncan Construction
That's what I said, yeah.
I'm having trouble hearing ya'. I'm on a cell phone.
Oh yew dumb bitch yew.
God damn little pimple faced cocksucker you.
Oh fuck you, yer interrupting mah breakfast.
Oh pish.

Videos of Lulz

Original calls to Frank

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Prank calls using the Duncan soundboard

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A to Z Pawn Shop

At least 100 years ago, pranksters called around Frank's hometown of Stilwell, Oklahoma trying to get him "in some shit" as his friend Tom would say. A call to a local pawn shop yielded a prank formula in which Frank becomes Officer Duncan and harrasses some criminals.

It should be noted that Frank believes Charles the pawn shop guy has been the one behind all the prank calls.