Call of Duty: Black Ops 2

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Call of Duty: Black Ops 2, aka Carl on Duty: Black Cops 2, Campsite simulator: The Electric boogaloo, Cock of Doody: Black Cocks 2 or Cash Cow of Duty: Money Whoring 2 is the latest game from the fags that brought you Call of Duty: World at War and Black Cocks.


Weapons

All anyone usually cares about.

Primary

Assault Rifle

  • AK-47: Since every single game from CoD4 onwards needs it's terrorist/nationalist weapon of choice, this faggy piece of shit returns to blow loads in the player's face.
  • AN-94: Complete reskin of the AK-47, so it's pointless to put in the game.
  • M16: Such an uncommon weapon, Treyarch.
  • Commando: Copy and pasted from the original Fag Ops.
  • Galil: So Treyarch includes a weapon that no military in the world uses due to how shitty it is and once again has return to be the most used weapon in multiplayer.
  • FN FAL: Moar like Fail, amirite?
  • Type 95: The FAGmas gets replaced by the same chink commie bullpup rifle from MW3. It will probably be even more overpowered than it was in that game.
  • Type 25: Treyarch is now pandering to the AZN fan base by including more gook shit.
  • M4A1: The signature weapon of the US army.
  • M8A1: A nazi-trash weapon, because CoD protocol always dictates at least 1 per game.
  • SCAR-H: Why Treyarch, why?

Submachine Gun

  • Vector K10: Treyarch lazily reuses the MW2 skins, because the animators are to lazy to come up with new skins and animations.
  • Uzi: Useless SMG is useless.
  • Chicom: Bullpups are becoming more common, now there's a bullpup SMG.
  • PDW57: A fictional weapon. Seriously Treyarch is now putting make believe weapons in a game that strived for realism all this time.

Light Machine Gun

  • Mk46: Shitstick that everyone will use because in MW3 it was rape incarnate.
  • LSAT: Britfag LMG.

Sniper Rifle

Shotgun

  • KSG: Russfag weapon that players got butthurt over in Black Ops due to it not being included in multiplayer.
  • M1216: Select fire shotgun.

Secondary

Handguns

  • M1911: Call of Duty's signature handgun.
  • KAP-40: Futuristic looking pistol.
  • Five-Seven: M9 Beretta replacement. Doubles as an infield emergency dildo.
  • Raging Judge: A revolver. It's not even a real weapon for fuck's sake.

Launcher

  • RPG: Included in this game for the same reason as the AK-47. Used by Niggers in the 1980s half of the game.
  • MM-1: Free fire or lock on fuckstick that nobody cares about.
  • FHJ-18 AA: A rocket that has erectile disfunction

Grenades

Lethal

  • Frag grenades: Rendered obsolete by semtex, like in the other past installments.
  • Semtex: Sticky grenade. You will hear these going off almost as much as Claymores.
  • Tomahawk: Axe that sounds badass when you throw it. You will always miss and get raped when using it.
  • Bouncing Betty: Or Buttsecks bitch, launches into the air and explodes, raping anyone and everyone.

Tactical

  • Flashbangs: Ghey sounding detonation. Doesn't do shit.
  • Shock Charge: EMP grenade renamed.


Zombies

Apparently now a carbon copy of Left 4 dead as when you die you respawn as a zombie. Also, you are allowed 8 players instead of 6.

 

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