DDR

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Sorry for the lack of dick jokes.

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	“	ONE THOUSAND COMBO!!!	„
	—Yeah, in your dreams.

Dance Dance Revolution, widely known as simply DDR (and to Europeans as Dancing Stage), is a video game that involves feigning epilepsy to shitty Japanese, Korean, European, and American music. Unlike many music games ever created, this game manages to combine simulation with a high-impact aerobic workout, where you use your feet to hit flashing arrows in time with music on a dance pad of some form. Health benefits are often attributed to DDR by fanboys, while ignoring the property damage and serious injury to bystanders that result when the fat kids fall over, or when bystanders get injured.

Due to its stereotypical popculture influence, many people associate the game with the gay and asian communities. Ironically, few gay people play the game since they have better taste in music and actually know how to dance. Asians, on the other hand, can always be found playing this game. Furries (supposedly of the gay and/or asian sort) are the obvious exception here, since they tend to play DDR all the time.

If you do see someone with no rhythm playing DDR, please advise them to stop playing immediately. Most arcades will allow you to unplug the machine should your request go unacknowledged, provided that you don't get caught. Also, remember to run like hell afterwards; hardcore DDR players have a tendency to give chase once you've interrupted their game.

Also, 10 year old azn girls will always win.

Features

Dance Dance Revolution is easily recognizable at malls and arcades worldwide with its four distinguishable features.

System: A machine with arbitrarily flashing lights and loud, crappy techno music.
Players: Up to two of any overweight/wapanese/furry/black person/Whore players pounding away on some metal pad with handlebars.
Fans: Players either awaiting their turn to provide entertainment, or bystanders with nothing else better to do. Some bystanders even dance the steps behind someone else playing while waiting for their turn to play.
Drunks: 20-to-30-something alcoholics that get their jollies on badly-performed insults towards players.

How To DDR

How Not To DDR

List of DDR Games

As is the typical Japanese style, DDR has sequels upon sequels of games spanning a wide range of gaming consoles, each game differing only by its playlist and visuals. It is rumored that DDR has more sequels than even Street Fighter.

Dance Dance Revolution
Dance Dance Revolution 2nd Mix
Dance Dance Revolution 3rd Mix
Dance Dance Revolution 4th Mix
Dance Dance Revolution 5th Mix
Dance Dance Revolution DDR Festival
Dance Dance Revolution Disney Channel Edition
Dance Dance Revolution Disney Grooves
Dance Dance Revolution Disney Mix
Dance Dance Revolution Extreme
Dance Dance Revolution Extreme 2
Dance Dance Revolution Hottest Party
Dance Dance Revolution Hottest Party 2
Dance Dance Revolution Hottest Party 3
Dance Dance Revolution Konamix
Dance Dance Revolution Mario Mix
Dance Dance Revolution Party Collection
Dance Dance Revolution Solo 2000
Dance Dance Revolution Solo Bass Mix
Dance Dance Revolution STR!KE
Dance Dance Revolution SuperNova
Dance Dance Revolution SuperNOVA 2
Dance Dance Revolution Ultramix
Dance Dance Revolution Ultramix 2
Dance Dance Revolution Ultramix 3
Dance Dance Revolution Ultramix 4
Dance Dance Revolution Universe
Dance Dance Revolution Universe 2
Dance Dance Revolution Universe 3
Dance Dance Revolution USA
Dance Dance Revolution Winx Club
Dance Dance Revolution X
Dance Dance Revolution X2
DDRMAX Dance Dance Revolution
DDRMAX Dance Dance Revolution 6thMix
DDRMAX2 Dance Dance Revolution
DDRMAX2 Dance Dance Revolution 7thMIX
Groove Motion DDR

DDR X

Konami's signature release to celebrate 10 years of the græt success of the dancing franchise. AWWW BOOOOY! Plagued by a non-memorable songlist (it's even shitty by DDR standards), YOU'RE ON FIIIRRREE! malfunctioning and virtually inoperable arcade cabinets, BLING BLING THAT WAS GOLDEN! an unnecessary "urban" theme, and an annoying announcer AWWWW YEAH! THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT! that feels the need to cut in every few seconds YOU'RE DANCIN', YOU'RE GROOVIN', YOU KNOW THE FLOW IS MOVIN! to either circlejerk or insult you, YOU'RE ON FIIIIRRREEE! DDR X stands out amongst its fellow games as being the worst incarnation of its kind.

Arcade Cabinets

The DDR X arcade cabinets are widely known for being the worst dancing cabinets in all of the dancing game genre. Not even Chinese knockoffs are this shoddy, and it's partly because they decided to cut material prices and move manufacture of American cabinets to America.

Gamers and arcade owners alike were severely disappointed at the lack of effort put into development of the cabinets. The fancy new HD graphics tend to lag, causing missed steps and making the bad soundtrack sound even worse. The unresponsive pads are set into the mat with cheap bolts just deep enough that it's possible to trip and fall face first into the cabinet while playing. The buttons on the front wear out easily and malfunction and the arrow pads were made of cheap fiberglass that tended to crack when people actually tried to dance. The crude aesthetic design makes the entire machine butt ugly on top of it all.

Many cabinets also came with an eMuse pad and USB port for saving your custom mixes and keeping track of your high scores. This cost the buyers extra with the promise of being part of a larger dancing community. Neither the USB or eMuse work because eMuse was scrapped in America and the USB actually requires using the cabinet's BIOS menu to be able to access it.

	“	Nobody in their right mind is going to shell out thousands of dollars for new pads that function mediocre at best and inoperable at worst. I say if you fuck up making something that costs thousands of dollars to buy, you don't deserve a second chance, especially if you mess that up as well. They had THREE years to correct every mistake they made with their original pads, and all they have shown is that they have learned NOTHING from their mistakes.	„
	—Thinly-veiled butthurt.

	“	The thing I REALLY like from the pad is the fact that is it one smooth surface. No screws or corner brackets to get your feet caught on. Sure it is a pain in the ass to maintain, and that is indeed a serious flaw, just hated the fact that my feet got caught continually on the SN dedicabs when I never had that problem with pre-SN machines.	„
	—You must be doing it wrong for your feet to get caught on the brackets.

	“	all i saw was a giant ds for a bit	„
	—lol

	“	I have to come out and say it. There is one thing I like about this new machine: the new panels. The old one's seem kinda boring now.	„
	—See? Not everybody hates them!

	“	Whether it be consumer software or arcade amusement, all Konami games worth playing are Japanese versions. Fuck American versions, they will always be total shit. Even the Chinese version of Universe 3 is better than the US version. If you want colored manuals, superior gameplay, and better button prompts, stick to Japanese versions. I made sure my MGS4 has a colored manual, which is why I own the Japanese version. Die Konami of America, please die.	„
	—Fanboy proving Japan is truly Superior.

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A DS, you say?
INNOVATIVE DESIGN
All it needs now is a touch screen.

The New Announcer

Every DDR gamer knows the announcer very well. He'd yell out random encouraging phrases at random intervals and keep track of your combos, and was an all around pretty cool guy that just about every gamer loved and adored. At the release of DDR X, however, many fans were in utter shock to hear (literally) that their favourite announcer had been replaced with an obnoxious, arrogant loud-mouth wigger that spewed completely random shit irrelevant towards actual gameplay. Whether you played well or horribly, his incessant periodic chanting would throw you off your dance routine so you'd end up failing anyway. Some argue that turning off the announcer in sound options allows for smoother and less rage-filled gameplay sessions.

Interestingly enough, this announcer is oddly silent if one happens to be playing a boss song, unlike the announcers from previous games. This could perhaps be a form of thinly-veiled troll's remorse on the part of Konami, but no one can be sure.

	“	YOU'VE GOT THE BEAT, YOU'VE GOT THE SONG, YOU CAN DO NOOOOO WRONG!	„
	—If I hear that fucking announcer one more time...

	“	YOU'RE THE ONE THEY CAME TO SEE!	„
	—No, they came to watch arrows on a screen like the spectators they are.

	“	WHAT'S UP MAN, YOU'VE GOT TWO LEFT FEET?	„
	—I'm not like the normal kids... :(

	“	THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT! YOU'VE GOT THE MAGIC TOUCH, BABY!	„

	“	AWWWW YEAH! THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT!	„
	—Redundant.

	“	YOU'RE DANCIN', YOU'RE GROOVIN', YOU KNOW THE FLOW IS MOVIN'!	„
	—OH FUCK YOU I JUST BROKE MY COMBO

	“	C'MON, SHOW THAT CROWD! THEY LOVE IT!	„

	“	YOU ARE NOW DANCING IN THE DANGER ZONE!	„
	—YES LIKE IT ISN'T OBVIOUS ENOUGH WITH THE MASSIVE BLOCK OF TEXT ON MY DANCE METER

	“	C'MON TWINKLETOES, DON'T LET THE BEAT FOOL YOU!	„

	“	YOU'RE GONNA BREAK THE METER! CAN'T WAIT TO SEE IT!	„

	“	IS THERE AN EARTHQUAKE IN HERE? 'CAUSE THIS PARTY'S CRACKIN'!	„
	—That must be why the neighbours downstairs are complaining...

	“	WHOO! YOU'RE ON FIRE!	„
	—DDR X is especially tailored to furry gamers.

	“	YOU'RE. ON. FIRE!	„
	—More redundant.

	“	GET THE WAX OUT OF YOUR EARS! GET THE CRUST OUT OF YOUR EYES!	„
	—You'd have to suck pretty badly to get this one.

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Dynamite Rave and other Song Problems

The playlists on the cabinets are also quite dismal compared to previous releases, but nobody is bitching about the default songs anyway because they can't even be played on the faulty mats. They do bitch, however, because the upgrades for the DDRX machines omit some of the most popular songs, even ignoring some of the most popular "mixes". They even fucked up the songs they did actually include!

Due to unknown licensing issues, the critically acclaimed song "Dynamite Rave" had it's lyrics modified in the arcade release, to the horror of many DDR veterans. Even worse is that they didn't bother to re-create the stepchart based on the new lyrics — this was eventually fixed in the release of X2/Hottest Party 3, but nobody really cares about that.

Other Known Regurgitated Songs:

Brilliant2U: Originally remade for Furu-Furu Party and re-released in HP3. Unlike the results above, people actually like this new version due to it actually having lyrics.
Keep On Movin': Also remade for Furu-Furu Party and re-released in both HP3 and X2, only nobody really cares about this one in particular.
After The Game: Remade for KonaMix and featured in every cabinet since, they stripped the lyrics of what was a nice slow song about sex in order to appease angry breeders.

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Types of Players

There are two main categories of DDR players: casual players and showoffs. Casual players will generally have nothing to speak for other than playing "for fun", whereas showoffs are able to play with their eyes closed (or otherwise blindfolded or using the infamous Stealth mod), backwards, attain perfect combo ratings, or even breakdance or otherwise freestyle on the pads.

Casual Players

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Showoffs

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Inane Stepcharts & Edit Faggotry

	“	Seriously, though; would you really want to see a 19/20 when we have this, the epicenter of boss nonsense, as an 18? I mean Dead End/Oni was there for giggles, but this is a "legitimate" boss. Knowing our luck, a 20 is going to mean a chart resembling eRAseRmOToRpHAntOM [A] in verbatim for a song that really doesn't need it.	„
	—Some DDR gamer on stepchart faggotry.

One of many key aspects of DDR is the stepchart. Self-explanatory, these are charts of 'notes' that one steps to during gameplay. DDR is widely known to have batshit insane stepcharts, especially for many of their most challenging songs. Some players even go as far as creating edits of stepcharts, making even relatively easy songs impossible to realistically play. On rare occasions they may supercede Konami's original creations, but most of these edits are just outright retarded.

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Similar Games

Pump It Up

It's the EXACT SAME THING as DDR, only far superior!

The arrows point in different directions! The dancing mat is sensitive enough to respond to a hand press! The announcer actually shuts the fuck up until the end of the song! The songs are remixes of Tetris Music and Classical song with electric guitars thrown in! Wait, wat?

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Beatmania

Moar info: Beatmania.

No words can describe the sheer complexity of this game.

Pop'n Music

Moar info: Pop'n Music.

Similar in concept to Beatmania, where you mash buttons along with music. Unlike Beatmania however, where songs are accompanied by videos or otherwise fancy animations, you instead get to watch furry cartoon characters that dance.

Guitar Hero

Moar info: Guitar Hero.

Similar in concept to DDR, but instead played with a guitar controller. This game is usually played by those too fat and/or lazy to play DDR, and too unco-ordinated to play Beatmania.

Stepmania

An open-source DDR clone that you can play while sitting in your mom's basement. It is played using the arrow keys on your keyboard, and unlike DDR, offers little health benefit other than the development of extremely nimble fingers.

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In The Groove

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In The Groove was a clone game developed by Roxor Games, employing the exact same physics of DDR. Although similar, it was far superior to its Konami counterpart because it posessed a songlist that didn't consist entirely of Japanese techno crap, the dance pads had better sensors and actually worked like they were supposed to, and you were able to create custom songs with stepcharts; note that custom songs could only be up to two minutes in length however. Eventually, Konami sued the shit out of Roxor for stealing their original idea, and they went out of business.

	“	DDR sucks man up to a real fucking game ITG. Now that'll put some hair on your ass Bloodrush? Gtfo Paranoia gayness	„
	—Average ITG player

External Links

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