Kill la Kill

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This page contains spoilers — important plot secrets and/or conclusions may be revealed. For example,
HOLY SHIT HOLY HELL MAKO'S MOM IS THE ONLY STRAIGHT FEMALE IN THIS MAGICAL GIRL ANIME!!! HOLY SHIT NUI KILLED RYUKO'S DAD!! OH FUCK MIKISUGI IS ACTUALLY A NAKED ARMY GENERAL!!! OH SHIT REVOCS IS ACTUALLY A COVER TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!! WOWZERS LIFE FIBERS ARE ACTUALLY ALIEN PARASITES AND CHOSE US HUMANS SO WE COULD BE EVOLVED AND SERVED FOR A BIG FUN ALIEN LUNCH!! HOLY SHIT THERE ARE LIFE FIBERS IN EVERYONE'S CLOTHES!! RAGYO ACTUALLY SERVES A BIG BALL OF ALIEN WOOL AND PLANS TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD STARTING WITH A SPORTS AND CULTURE FESTIVAL IN JAPAN!11! OH MAN SATSUKI IMPALES HER OWN MOTHER WITH HER SWORD AND DECLARES WAR ON HER BECAUSE RAGYO FINGERED SATSUKI IN HER PERIOD!!!! OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG RYUKO IS SATSUKI'S LITTLE SISTER WHO DIED AFTER A LIFE FIBER EXPERIMENT WHEN SHE WAS LITTLE!!!!!!!! HOLY NIGGER MEAT RYUKO AND RAGYO HAVE BEEN FUSED WITH LIFE FIBERS!!!!!11! MOTHER OF VISHNU'S WHORE COUSIN GAMAGORI IS A PEDOPHILE AND WANTS TO FUCK MAKO! OM/B/ RAGYO HAS AN INCEST FETISH AND WANTS TO BDSM RAPE SATSUKI!!!!!!!!11!1!! WT/A/ RAGYO AND NUI HAD JUNKETSU MIND RAPE RYUKO AND NOW SHE'S ON HER PERIOD AND WANTS TO KILL EVERYONE!!!!1!!!!!!! LM/X/O SENKETSU IS HAVING PROLAPSES AND RYUKO'S PERIODS ARE KILLING HER!!!!1!!!!1

Kill la Kill (キルラキル Kiru ra Kiru?) is an edgy Magical Girl Animu made by Trigger, who has a blood fetish. It's basically Evangelion and Dragon Ball Z combined. The plot is a prequel to Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt, related to FLCL, complete with Goku uniforms. It was hailed by /a/ as the saviour of animu, but it turned out to be nothing special.

Plot

Ryuuko Matoi carries a big weapon around shaped like the half of a pair of scissors. She's looking for the woman with the other half, who killed her father. Satsuki Kiryuuin, student council president of Honnouji Academy, is said to know the woman's identity, but keeps messing with her so, Ryuuko transfers there. Students who arrive at the school and suck the elite's cocks well will receive a special "Goku Uniform" some kind of Power Suit, which Satsuki uses to rule the school with an iron fist.

Life Fibers

Life Fibers are the main plot device for this action/ecchi work of art. They are essentially ancient fabric parasites that 'chose' humans for having the best nervous system at the time when they invaded, advancing our evolution to the point of dominating the planet (a strange side-effect of being the host of a PARASITE). Unfortunately people like John Langdon Down and Hans Asperger discovered that these Life Fibers didn't leech off of all the humans.

The only people with any clue of these fibers are the Kiryuin clan, Isshin Matoi, Nudist Beach, and Ryuko Matoi.

Life Fibers are critical in making these originally named Goku Uniforms; these Goku Uniforms have 5 known forms:

1-Star - Uniforms of 10% Life Fibers, all who wear them become Life Fiber Nazis who all look the same waiting for Ryuko to rape them with her Scissor Blade.

2-Star - Uniforms of 20% Life Fibers, all who wear them become Alfluenzic smug retards who secretly want Ryuko and Nui to Scissor.

3-Star - Uniforms of 30% Life Fibers, only worn by the Elite Four.

5-Star - Uniforms of 50% Life Fibers, you will lose ALL CONTROL AND DESTROY EVERYTHING!!!!!

10-Star (Kamui) - Sailor Moon suit consisting of 100% Life Fibers, for some reason they talk to only you and don't make you FUCK SHIT UP! They 'awaken' when they drink your blood and turn into slutty armour and you into a sex icon; they only truly work when you want your boobs and ass to be the first parts of your body that people see.

10-Star (COVERS) - Being born from the Original Life Fiber.

Characters

Ryuko Matoi-Kiryuin - A 17-year old-girl and the main protagonist who's also a tomboy that isn't feminine. Wants to find out who killed her daddy by challenging Satsuki, and ends up wearing a latex Power Suit while fighting off hackers, monkeys, bitches and whores, mummies, and cannon fodder. Somehow also knows how to drive motorcycles around like a badass even though she's 17 years old. Ragyo ripped out her heart at one point to reveal that she's her should-be-dead daughter.

Senketsu - A living and breathing Evangelion sailor uniform Ryuko finds beneath her house. It grants her temporary power until she passes out. Is actually an alien battlesuit made by Ryuuko's dad to fight against REVOCS.

Junketsu - Another Sailor Moon suit that NEVER speaks. EVER. Riders of the Kill La Kill Hype Train have speculated that he is a demon and a pervert. It was supposed to be Satsuki's wedding dress that would enslave her to clothing but instead it was her fanservice battle dress that enslaved Ryuko to clothing while triggering 1000 orgasms per second.

Mako Mankanshoku - Mako is Ryuko's best friend who lives in the ghetto with all the other No-Stars. Her family consists of a perverted botch doctor, a perverted pick-pocket little brother (because all pre-pubescents have sexual drives in anime), a perverted pet dog, and a female who spends all her time in the kitchen cooking mystery food. Her power is to put a stop to any fight by smoking crack, regardless of how serious it is.

Satsuki Kiryuin: She's the main antagonist, 18 year old and president of the student council at Honnouji Academy. Has bigass eyebrows, a manface, but also a GOD ASS. She generally hangs around with the next four characters.

Ira Gamagori - Leader of the school's disciplinary committee who's into bondage. His actual size changes time to time, and might be into Mako.

Uzu Sanageyama - Leader of the school's athletics committee. Fights with a bamboo stick and his Goku uniform is a huge mecha, but he always loses to everyone, so he stabbed himself in the eyes to see more and keeps losing anyways.

Hoka Inumuta - Leader of the school's information and strategy committee who used to be a 1337 h4x0rr who finished Computer Science III cum laude and fucked with stocks for teh lulz until the REVOCS Party Van paid a visit. Now spends his days trying to analyze data with his Gameboy emulator, and likes to probe things.

Nonon Jakuzure - Leader of the school's non-athletics committee. Controls an entire orchestra, and only plays obviously inferior music. Has a voice that makes neckbeards cream theirselves. One time at band camp, she stuck a flute in her pussy.

Aikuro Mikisugi - Ryuko's and Honnouji Academy's only teacher, is a smelly shaggy sleazebag doing jobs for slave wages so he can pay rent and precious anime figurines who also observes Ryuko's progress and was the one who led her to Senketsu. He's actually a FABULOUS nudist army leader. His crotch and nipples emanate purple light, as if he wasn't FABULOUS enough.

Ragyo Kiryuin - Satsuki's mom, part Life Fiber, and also the head honcho of REVOCS, the company that produced the clothing you are wearing right now and whose employees are fabric fetishists. She looks like Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Lyra had a three-way and the middle pony got pregnant from it (They're from a cartoon show so it's Legit). She can 'Mentally Re-fit' people by sewing thread through their brains(Also Legit), and is immortal so long as a literal thread is connected to her head and body. Also fingered Satsuki at one point.

Nui Harime - REVOCS bigshot and overall smug cunt. She's that kind of person who can kill 6 gorillion Jews with a purple half of a scissor blade and a smile on her face within 24 minutes. Somehow managed to lose her left eye when killing Ryuko's dad, and keeps fucking with Ryuko because of that. Can destroy Kamui Goku suits in one strike, even Satsuki fears her.

Isshin Matoi - Ryuko's dad, used to be known as Dr. Wily until he gave up on trying to taking over the world. Discovered that REVOCS was trying to take over the world using alien wires, so he founded his own group of armed nudists and made a slutty sailor uniform for her daughter because she's The One™. Eventually got killed by Nui.

Shinra-Kouketsu - Believed to be the Ultimate Kamui that Ragyo is having Nui and the Honouji Academy's Sewing club make. ED estimates a 100% chance it will be complete shit.