User:Anwar Sadat's Horny Ghost/Poopsocking

Online gamers are a loathsome breed, addicted to grinding away in dungeons for precious experience. Much like socially acceptable addictions, online gaming can push users in it's grasp to new lows of personal hygiene. Balanced diet, exercise, and regular showers disappear entirely, replaced by a steady stream of soda and Slim Jims to fuel 18 hours of daily gameplay. This is typical of MMOers, so to gain an edge, one must make more sacrifices. One must shit in a sock.

The Poop

The ugly reality of the average poopsocker

In formative years, poopsocking was not option. Everyone pooped in a bucket, and then threw it out when convenient. This is disgusting, unsanitary, and smelly, which is why humans have made and used flush toilets for about 5000 fucking years. Many in the third world still have to poopsock, owing to a lack of running water, and in desperate situations, men have chosen to poop in a container. Desperate situations like double XP weekends. Feeling the familiar rectal bulge that means a turd is ready for delivery, the gamer readies his receptacle and slowly voids his bowels into it. He then sets it down, and continues whatever he is doing while his shit festers beside him. This continues until the stench becomes overwhelming, or every concave object within arm's reach becomes filled with poop.

Poopsocking is the event horizon of online gaming. After an addict is surrounded by their own stagnant shit, there is no hope. Family keeps their distance, and even the most determined advocates can't stand to be in their presence for more than five minutes. They are then left to their own, sitting in their filthy dens grinding away, until they die of malnutrition or caffeine induced heart attack. The only hope for the gamer is arrest and incarceration for violation of public health laws, where he will gain all new experience points playing a different sort of game.

The Sock

The use of socks as a shit receptacle is a natural development, since gamers rarely if ever leave the comfort of their basement bedroom. Socks become strange relics of a formerly mobile age in the gamer's life, and become just another object slowly filled with shit, to avoid having to leave EverQuest for two minutes. Empty Mountain Dew cans and Fleshlight packaging are also common poopsocks, for similar reasons. The pragmatism of using a sock is questionable at best, because a spell of diarrhea would quickly go catastrophically wrong if expelled into a sock. An airtight container is a mixed blessing, because whatever odor avoided in the short term is delivered with interest when it is emptied, rendering the bathroom it is emptied in unusable for days. However, they now have an empty poopsock to shit in, so this is of little consequence.

Poopsockers can often become quite attached to the objects they shit in.

The World of Poopsocking

Poopsocking is not confined to online gaming. Anything on a computer, done often enough, can provoke accusations of poopsocking. It's hard to gain Admin privilages on Wikipedia without bout a serious methamphetamine addiction and a sizable poopsock collection. Were Wikipedia to have a licensed scent, it would doubtlessly have hints of putrid shit and wool, right alongside the scent of unwashed fat rolls and teenage angst. Even ED has several contributors suspected of poopsocking to prevent spambots from getting away with 30 seconds of free advertising, or to level up and gain the precious banhammer. Most forums have at least one committed poopsock, popping up in every thread, no matter the time, to inject their pointless shit into the thread.

See Also

• Everquest
• WOW
• Basement Dweller
• Shit