Mike Pence: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 18:25, 15 February 2017

BREAKING NEWS!!
CAN'T DISPENSE THE PENCE

Michael Richard Pence is a polished 1950s movie-star and generic retarded satanic, conservative puppet of the ZOG. He came to prevalence after The Donald, desperate for votes from the Religious Right after Clinton pwned Sanders, took him in as his Vice President during the 2016 Elections.

Notable for his stances against faggotry and leftism, and his support for the Tea Party movement, Pence is likely to be POTUS after the establishment conspires to eliminate Trump. Should this happen, it is presumed the madman will set Dumbfuckistan back 20 years, just as was tradition with the Bush and Obongo presidencies.

Career

Pence signed the controversial Religious Freedom Restoration Act into law, producing immense amounts of butthurt, mainly from fags. He signed a law which blocked Indianan governments from requiring wages be provided at a rate higher than the standard minimum wages. He pissed off public school workers because he went on to help fund pre-schools, charter schools and parent's rights. He pissed schools off even more when he signed a bill that allowed Guns to be kept on school grounds (namely, in vehicles) in an attempt to make schools safer. He also opposes Common Core. He also pissed off more leftist fags when he successfully haulted renewable energy efforts (such as Solar), fighting for coal based energy. In an effort to make fags die from HIV, he worked to prevent medical treatment for those with AIDS, such as draining funding for needles necessary for injection of medicine. Mike is proudly against abortion; he attempted to defund planned parenthood, and worked block abortion services provided by third parties. He's also against sexual education and is against Stem-cell research. Notable for severe hatred of faggotry, Pence has been fucking with LGBT rights since the late 90s... Wait a minute, there is one major religion in the world that shares his belief of Fag Holocaust! OH THE IRONY

He was also a staunch supporter of the Patriot Act. Pence is against the scam that is Global Warming.

Vice Presidency

Why would God-Emperor of Mankind Donald Trump (who supports gay marriage) forge an alliance with this mentally retarded redneck? Simple: pragmatism. When cheating bitch Hillary Clinton completely pwn3d Bernie Sanders and got the votes of minority scum such as niggers, Kebab and feminists, and while the Evangelical Right and almost every Republican completely DESPISES Trump as an immoral atheist porn addict who supports gay marriage, Trump had to make a compromise with the Religious Right if he was to get his Presidency and save us from a worse regime under Clinton or any of the other retards the Republicans supported like Ted Cruz. The Ends Justify the Means.

That's wat Pence originally was: a tool for Trump to ascend as Emperor, even if they had the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of political philosophy. That's why Trump anointed him as his VP during the 2016 elections, picking Pence as life insurance. Ideally, once he secured the vote Pence would be fired.... but in reality it won't work because the US Constitution is not the Apprentice. Pence served as Vice President knowing full well that he will backstab Trump in the end, and the GOP would work to get trump 'eliminated', thus allowing this neocon nutjob to be the real president. Traitors within the Republican Party want Trump dead. If he's impeached or murdered, Pence will be the new president and has a track record of extreme republicuntism. This should help scare away lots of crazy SJW rats from trying anything. In the event that the god emperor is slain, The United States will inevitably revert to the Dark Ages allowing the more technologically-advanced atheists over the Pacific to rule the world.