Bill Mitchell

DON'T WORRY MA'AM, I AM FROM THE INTERNET

Not to be confused with this man.

Farewell internets, I knew thee well

Bill Andrew Mitchell is a furfag, who made the mistake of breaking Rules 1 and 2 on his MySpace blog one day.

The man. The myth. The furry.

CANNOT BE UNSEEN

Bill, also known as "Captain B" or sometimes "Geecku" in the various internet communities he resides in, is a confirmed furfag, a beacon of anti-lulz and sufferer of Assburgers as diagnosed by resident physician, Dr. Richard C. Mongler. He is a self-proclaimed "artist," often designing his own custom versions of Power Rangers in MSPaint, and a renowned author of high quality video game fan-fiction. (See relevant URLs below) He takes personal offense if you refer to SUPER THERIAL fanart like Sonicfags in love as silly, going as far to BLOCK AND DELETE you from whatever medium you happen to be discussing with him at the time. He also likes to role-play, often taking the role of a submissive female fur (Varying from species to species) with incestuous thoughts about her brother. He is also a complete assclown.

He is also a moderator for the message boards at thehylia.com, a previous target of the internet hate machine.

The Judgement

In mid-March, 2008, a blog post by one "Captain B," member of sworn enemy of Anonymous, Zelda Universe, and moderator of The Hylia (a previous target of anon in 2007) was discovered by Zangaroa field operatives. This blog post, which contained language criticizing Anonymous, breaking Rules 1 & 2 and blaming Anon for atrocities committed by eBaumsWorld.com, was deemed FAIL and made Captain B, aka Bill Mitchell, eligable for swift and divine retribution.

On March 18, 2008, a Zangaroan strike team was assembled, and preliminary profile data was gathered. Within hours, his e-mail box ([email protected]) was cracked wide open, leading Zangaroan operatives straight to his Facebook and MySpace, as well as other accounts tied to the box. As Zangaroan operative CarloVonSexron wrestled for control over Bill's inbox (a back-and-forth battle in which the two would use the unchangeable security question to change the box's password) more progress was made into prying apart Bill's internet life. By the time Yahoo! administrators finally intervened, a good deal of accounts belonging to Bill were compromised. Intel suggests Bill has changed e-mail boxes since.

The message boards Dreamforest (a furfag shelter) and GameStone (lolwut?) were hit in preliminary forum raids using Bill's account. Dreamforest is closed as a result, and GameStone drastically cut back posting permissions for its members, resulting in two small victories for Anon forces.

On March 23rd, Bill's personal information was posted to various /i/nsurgency outposts.

The Real Raid Begins

Easter Day: Bill's life continues to get more chaotic. His DeviantArt (which had been under Zan control for the past few days) was finally wrecked, with messages being sent to all his friends outing him as a homosexual and furfag (redundant, we know) and was going to become an hero because nobody would accept his twisted urges. Anon also proceeded to start signing him up for dozens of magazine and newspaper subscriptions over the internets, as well as spamming his address and phone number across various classifieds sites.

With Zangaroan ops planted on his local IRC network, initialized.org, Anon was able to pinpoint the time Bill left home to when he came back. The minute he returned home, he was greeted with a barrage of prank phone calls and pizza and chinese food deliveries. After a bit, his mommy started screening his calls for him, threatening to call the cops. This was, of course, just greeted with MOAR.

Eventually, Bill and his family decided enough was enough: Bill's stepfather told him he must leave the internet forever, and 21 year old Bill complied, proceeding to say goodbye to Init-IRC and various internet forums.

With it getting late, Anon decided to stir up some more lulz in Init-IRC, sending threats they would hack and destroy every website related to Bill. As a result, people started deleting all their accounts on various websites and closing down forums to keep Zangaroa away. PureZC.com shut down their forums, meanwhile, Zangaroan forces, now teamed with another Anon group terming themselves Substantia, meanwhile turned their sights to Gurkirat Vig, another failure-ridden resident of the Init-IRC network.

The Aftermath

Quotes

Bill on Pokemon Fanart

LOL WUT

<Captain_B> aww...
<Captain_B> http://www.lizzynet.de/home/JennMcFee/_hpgen_img13_2.jpg
<Kokiri> is that a parapalegic?
<Kokiri> oh wait. I see the arm.
<capncornflake> i love how rediculously silly pokemon fanart is
<capncornflake> even though people try and make it serious. which only makes it sillier.
<Captain_B> ...
<Captain_B> no.
<Kokiri> that's part of the fun, capn.
<Captain_B> you all are bastards
<Captain_B> http://www.lizzynet.de/home/JennMcFee/_hpgen_img13_2.jpg
<Captain_B> I don't see anything "silly"
<Kokiri> ...it's Pokemon.
<capncornflake> its silly because it tries to make pokemon into something serious
<Captain_B> and it does
<Kokiri> but Pokemon's not serious.
<Kokiri> therefore, it's funny.
<Captain_B> you are a sick person
<capncornflake> its about the fanciful romps of people throwing balls at strange creatures
<Kokiri> how so?
<MirrorImage> How not so.
<Captain_B> it is.
<capncornflake> and imprisoning them, and forcing them into battle with each other. even the concept of it is so ridiculous, that one cant help but chuckle.
<Captain_B> since I'm not in the mood for it
<Captain_B> * Added *!*[email protected] to ignore list

Bill on Power Rangers

Just you wait. Once he can get venture capital funding, he'll have a highly successful animation studio producing his hotly anticipated anime Power Rangers remake

<Captain_B> It can't go that far...
<Captain_B> sure, he can learn to accept the other rangers as his friends...
<Captain_B> and even fall in love at one point.
<Captain_B> but he must retain the charm that made him cool to begin with
<Captain_B> sorta like Magus.
<Kokiri> Chrono Trigger's Magus? Awesome character.
<Captain_B> yup
<Captain_B> exactly
<Captain_B> that's the kind of character I want the NEW green power ranger to have.
<Captain_B> also the design
<Captain_B> sort of
<Captain_B> I mean, he won't wear a cape and crap
<Captain_B> typical athletic teen beat people up clothes
<Captain_B> be he's got the hair
<Captain_B> and the evil don't piss me off look
<Kokiri> ...Power Ranger?
<Captain_B> yah
<Captain_B> sketches of an anime remake
<Captain_B> check out the new green ranger
<Captain_B> http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y247/ssjlink1/DragonTrooper.jpg
<Kokiri> that's supposed to make me burst out laughing, right?
<Kokiri> because it worked.
<Captain_B> you didn't even view it
Captain_B kicks Kokiri in the ribs hard
<Kokiri> of course I viewed it.
<Kokiri> it's hilarious.
<Kokiri> it's awesome.
<Captain_B> no you didn't
<Captain_B> "Hilarious?"
<Kokiri> yes.
<Captain_B> no it's not
<Kokiri> I lol'd.
<Captain_B> then you lol at everything
<Kokiri> well, yes. But this is the "fuck, that's awesomely hilarious" sort.
<Kokiri> I think it comes from the pose, mostly. A "What the hell am I doing wearing this thing?" sort of pose, overall.
<Captain_B> he's angry
<Captain_B> he wants to kill jason
<Kokiri> that, and it's like a 4 year old's Halloween dragon costume.
<Captain_B> it's not
<Captain_B> more like Kain's costume
<Captain_B> from FF4
<Kokiri> wouldn't know.
<Kokiri> seriously, though. That so looks like this sort of thing. http://www.poseyent.com/artsofavalon/graphics/dragon.jpg

Bill on Gaming Babes

<Geecku> hottest Videogame females
<Geecku> 1) random DoA character
<Geecku> 2) Ayla
<Geecku> 3) Birdo (totally female in Japanese canon)
<Geecku> 4) Taki
<Geecku> I can't think of anymore
<Geecku> Samus... I like Samus, in and out of the suit, and consider her gorgeous. but I never really got an erection from it.
<Geecku> Lara Croft: would be like throwing a sausage down a hallway
<Geecku> she's been around the block too many times.
<Geecku> "you'd need a ripple laser to shoot that core"
<Geecku> that describes Lara
<Geecku> Again, I don't know what it is about Samus. She comes off as a nice person, but...
<Geecku> and she is drop dead gorgeous
<Geecku> not like "fuck me and I'll kill you"
<Geecku> in fact, sometimes she can be pretty silly
<Geecku> moving down the derection list:
<Geecku> Zelda
<Geecku> she's flat.
<Geecku> she's flat in both chest and personality
<Geecku> Angela: She doesn't wear pants... so I dunno...
<Geecku> doable: Shannon from Quest64.
<Geecku> I like her.
<Geecku> Doable: Kraid. That's right, Kraid is a girl, and quite a challenge.
<Geecku> I mean how do you fill all three of those things at once
<Geecku> That's right, I once drew graffiti on facebook of Anthro ridley and kraid
<Geecku> however, that's probably gone now
<Geecku> I had to have facebook delete the old one so the hackers couldn't see anyone else's stuff
<Geecku> moving down the list...
<Geecku> doable: Great fairy. I'm not gonna lie. They're hot. simple as that.
<Geecku> doable: Navi. Nobody that small could survive an orgasm I caused. And when its her specifically, that's good.
<Geecku> doable: Krystal. This should be obvious but I'll get it out of the way
<Geecku> doable: That chick on the cover of Freedom Force for NES, with the long nails
<Geecku> she's not in the game whatsoever, but I can't help but bring her up for lol sake
<Geecku> not doable: Big Core. not for the same reasons as Lara croft though. It just doesn't take much to set off the orgasm. One thrust and that's it. Boom
<Geecku> doable: Alicia. Better known as "that chick from the guardian legend". No specific reason.
<Geecku> (and yes, Big Core is officially female now)
<Geecku> doable: April O' Neil. She's not technically a VG character, but she has massive jugs at the end of stage 5 in TMNT2: The arcade game.
<Geecku> doable: The girl that runs the boat game in Twilight Princess. I don't care if she has a giant fro.
<Geecku> and I don't appreciate her brother's comment
<Geecku> "Oh, she's scary huh? Yeah, I'm gonna go all wolf on your ass! Then you won't think "aww wolfie's not so bad", huh?"
<Geecku> I did try to attack him, but it had no effect
<Geecku> I just jumped around barking and he just stood there.
<Geecku> Doable: Midna. Though I'm not sure which version.

Bill on Suppressing Bullies

MARANGER IS COPYRIGHT BILL MITCHELL. DO NOT USE WITHOUT PERMISSION

<capncornflake> dammit, where the hell is captain b. i wanted to make fun of him.
<capncornflake> http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y247/ssjlink1/DragonTrooper.jpg
<capncornflake> and commend him for this glorious piece of CUSTOM POWER RANGERS art that has stood the test of time and many lulz
<Geecku> well fuck you too buddy
* Geecku is now known as Captain_B
<capncornflake> :D
<Captain_B> what's your problem.
<capncornflake> too little lulz
<capncornflake> im here to RECTIFY THAT
<Captain_B> it isn't a funny image.
<capncornflake> oh, come on, its hilarious
<Captain_B> no, it isn't.
<capncornflake> the sunglasses really put it over the top
<yami> i love the way he looks really fucking constipated.
<Captain_B> they aren't sunglasses
* Captain_B sets mode: +b *!*@2F499446.52907C0D.30CCD5E.IP
<capncornflake> OH SHIT
#thehylia You are banned (#thehylia)

Bill on Pretending He's a Female Dragon Gecko Thing, a character which he stole from artist Chalodillo

See Also

• /i/ Release Thread
• Bill on Pastebin

External Links

• Anon's PB: http://s283.photobucket.com/albums/kk303/captainbackfat/
• His PB: [1]
• MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/captain_nintendo
• FanFiction.net: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1384424/Captain_B
• DeviantArt: http://captainb.deviantart.com/

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Bill Mitchell is part of a series on Furfaggotry Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage.

Bill Mitchell is part of a series on Homosexual Deviants Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage.