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Lady Gaga: Difference between revisions
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[[Image:Realgaga.jpg|thumb|left| | [[Image:Realgaga.jpg|thumb|left|182px|The real Lady Gaga]] [[Image:Most_normal_thing_youll_find_her_wearing.png|200px|thumb|left|This is the most normal thing you'll ever find her wearing. Ever.]] [[File:Ladygagadx.png|thumb|right|200px|CANT BEAT MAH, CANT BEAT MAH, NO YOU CANT BEAT MY GERMAN RACE...]] | ||
Lady Gaga was born in [[New York]], to [[Italy|Italian]] mafia parents. She went to a [[pedophile|Catholic]] school, which explains her [[homosexual]] tendencies. At seventeen, she enrolled at a New York university, and, soon after, dropped out. She went on to write songs for [[whore|The Pussycat Dolls]] and other pseudo-bands that wouldn't exist if it weren't for auto-tune and Fruity Loops. [[Last Thursday]], black person noticed that she was a [[white]] girl and helped her record her [[shit|debut album]] in an attempt to get at [[dat ass]]. | Lady Gaga was born in [[New York]], to [[Italy|Italian]] mafia parents. She went to a [[pedophile|Catholic]] school, which explains her [[homosexual]] tendencies. At seventeen, she enrolled at a New York university, and, soon after, dropped out. She went on to write songs for [[whore|The Pussycat Dolls]] and other pseudo-bands that wouldn't exist if it weren't for auto-tune and Fruity Loops. [[Last Thursday]], black person noticed that she was a [[white]] girl and helped her record her [[shit|debut album]] in an attempt to get at [[dat ass]]. | ||
Revision as of 22:12, 19 September 2017
Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta Giggerota, born Joseph Angelo Calderone III, (better known as Lady Gaga) is FUCKING NOBODY. Also a dickgirl and an ugly prostitute who sells crap to kids. He or she is also responsible for 99% of the generic electro garbage you are being forced upon every time you turn on the radio, TV or enter a Nightclub. But don't try to deny it, you, like the rest of us common gutter scum, are starting to enjoy it. She has been hailed as a genius because she dresses like a 6-year-old girl with severe autism and access to an S&M shop. Gaga announced on June 12, 2010 that she will, against the advice of her friends that she will be posing for Playboy Magazine. Unless Playboy does another one of its famous airbrushing jobs to cover up a woman's "icky-parts", we may finally find out what Lady Gaga is packing between her thunderthighs. Lady Gaga has "posed" as a man for Vogue Japan as of June 30, 2010. [1]
—Lady Gaga, 2010, knowing her true calling [sauce] | ||
—Christina Aguilera, effectively trolling herself. | ||
HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?!
Lady Gaga was born in New York, to Italian mafia parents. She went to a Catholic school, which explains her homosexual tendencies. At seventeen, she enrolled at a New York university, and, soon after, dropped out. She went on to write songs for The Pussycat Dolls and other pseudo-bands that wouldn't exist if it weren't for auto-tune and Fruity Loops. Last Thursday, black person noticed that she was a white girl and helped her record her debut album in an attempt to get at dat ass.
Gaga then started performing downtown, in the Lower East Side club scene with rock bands. However, owing to the great bands that come out of New York, she distanced herself from rock, and focused on pop instead.
Before even working on her musical styling, she collaborated with fellow batshit insane fashionista, Lady Starlight. The two worked on Gaga's fucked up look, and before she knew it, Gaga was invited to play Lollapalooza, proving once and for all that the current American music industry is run by complete Jew who care more about image than talent. Gaga was applauded for her over-the-top performance by nigra music critics everywhere, who, like Akon, hoped for some of dat ass.
Not content with just being the world's most up and coming attention whore, Gaga started producing her debut album The Fame with the midi-master RedOne. Gaga already had a cache of electro-glam songs inspired by David Bowie and Queen, Gaga and RedOne re-worked these pre-written songs with more of an urban style while maintaining a rock edge.
So far, the album The Fame, has received huge airplay worldwide, as well as spawning countless club remixes. There have been music videos filmed for the tracks "Just Dance", "Poker Face", "Lovegame", "Eh, Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say)", and "Paparazzi". The clip (Australian for 'music video') for "Lovegame" was censored in Australia due to it being too sexy.
Those Aussies really do like censoring things!
The Fame
—Gaga wants to party with you! | ||
—Lady Gaga on why she gets along so well with Paris Hilton. | ||
Gaga relocated to LA in 2008, and finalized The Fame there. Gaga describes the album as "Def Leppard drums and handclaps to metal drums on urban tracks". The album was released to more praise from white-ass hungry critics. The first single from The Fame was "Just Dance" and reached #1 in seven countries. "Just Dance" was also nominated for a Grammy for Best Dance Recording, however it lost to Daft Punk's "Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger". It is widely believed that this is because Daft Punk is just slightly stranger than Gaga. But only slightly.
Haus of Gaga
Around this time Gaga also pioneered a group of people she likes to refer to as the Haus of Gaga, which she describes as: "My own creative team, modeled on Warhol's Factory. Everyone is under 26 and we do everything together." The purpose of the Haus of Gaga is to collaborate on clothes, stage sets, lighting and sound.
Her Music
Main article: Lady Gaga's Music
- Just Dance: A song about getting completely smashed, but in normal whore fashion, continue partying until the inevitable happens.
- Lovegame: Its about having a good time, enjoying electronic urban beats, and jumping onto the first disco stick that you sniff out.
- Paparazzi: Paris Hilton and Modern Warfare 2 comes to mind.
- Poker Face: This song is apparently about pretending her boyfriend is a woman, though, we're pretty sure she's bisexual for the same reason David Bowie was. Alternatively, Poker Face is about giving one of a group of guys head under a table and whoever shows expression has to leave the table and loses The Game. However, this is just wild speculation and was probably just a crappy Urban Dictionary rumor.
- Eh, Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say): There's not much to say
aboutaboot this song, eh eh. - Brown Eyes: Another typical sixteen year old girl song. It's about her banging a dude who still loves his ex-girlfriend.
- Again Again: The same as Brown Eyes, only this time she's thinking about her ex-boyfriend while she's with a new man.
- Star Struck: Gaga sings about the pleasure she gets when she shoves star-shaped dildos in her vagina. Flo rida helps.
- Summerboy: Well, you can bet the gay community just LOVES this song...
- Fashion:
She probably didn't even know what Dolce & Gabbana was before she got rich(Disregard that, she was born into upper class New York. She has always been rich). - Paper Gangsta: Dressing the part ain't gonna get you that sweet Gaga tang.
- Bad Romance: About Gaga's secret passtime.
- Teeth: Gaga's beautiful vagina is covered is so many battle scars, due to her lifestyle. This means that if you wanna get her off, you better wanna nibble that clit.
- Alejandro: Lady Gaga talks about how she wants to fuck a bunch of Mexicans.
- Monster: Gaga uses her amazing talent to sing about how a dude ate her vagina out and she couldn't handle it.
- Born This Way: The Lady sings us a beautiful song about how she was born as a hermie. She also admits her support of furfaggotry in this song.
- Far From Me: A song about the pain men must endure because their stupid women can't multitask and be in the kitchen and SMD at the same time
- Scream Loud: A track completely composed of orgasm sounds
- Someone Save me Tonight: A memoir about when Gaga was a druggie, and how she wished someone would save her from becoming a prostitute who sells crap to kids, sadly no one did
- Hooker on a Church Corner: A song dedicated to Gaga's mother
- Ink: About how Gaga is actually a robot squid from another planet, and will shoot ink at you if you don't fulfill her sexual requests
- Rose Thorns: A biology experiment gone wrong, where scientists accidentally created a human plant hybrid, then fucked it and made babies named Lady Gaga and Marilyn Manson
- Scheiße: Shit
- Telephone:
Nobody wants to talk about it cus its actually kinda goodHAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS, the lyrics are shit but that's pretty much it.
Whore Detected
—Lady Gaga | ||
Previous Video | Next Video |
Gaga's influence on /b/
Main Article: Poker Face
Poker Face is yet another unfunny forced meme created by /b/tards in May 2009. Based on a song by known trap pop queen Lady Gaga, newfags think it's hilarious to use old memes, photoshop their faces off and post them, along with lyrics of the tranny's cleverly named song.
One of the hundreds of variations of the above images are spammed with the following text:
Leaked Video
On the 29th of May, Lady Gaga's new video for the track Paparazzi was leaked on the interbutts, to the dismay of Gaga. The culprit has been identified as The Video Leaking Bug, the same one that leaked the new Kanye West video.
Gaga was clearly butthurt and proceeded to Nerd Rage over twitter.
The video itself is an 8 minute long monstrous con-fuckery which can only really be described by making up words. Its depicts Gaga at the beginning being a whore, and most notably, not making her hipster-fag looking male whore a sammich. Said hipster-fag realizes this, and throws Gaga over the balcony, leaving her semi-naked in a pool of blood.
Cut to Gaga sitting in a wheelchair with a Jew neck brace, however still managing to be a whore as she is being carried around by male dancers. As the dancers gyrate around her, the singer strips off her black body suit and hobbles down a carpet on a pair of crutches wearing a metallic bustier and matching helmet. All the while, images of dead models flash on the screen, including one whose face is wrapped in plastic, one who appears to be hanging from a noose and another who is oozing Jew from her mouth.
In the next scene, we see her slag ass make out with the triplets from The Snakes of Eden. Then she comes out in a crazy white and blue ensemble, half-dress and half not. This is probably reminiscent of the fact that Gaga is both man and woman.
In the end, Gaga proves that women should never be trusted by killing her hipster-fag man with a lethal dose of menstrual blood in his creaming soda.
Gaga has a Disco Stick
After seeing her on tour in her creative leotards and jumpsuits, fans have began rumors that Gaga is actually a hermaphrodite. Fans have said that when the singer bends down there is a huge bulge where her poon should be. The release of the video for the song "Poker Face" originally sparked the claims, because she looks like a fucking dude in the clip. It is also worthy to note that certain faggots seem to think that the lyrics to "Poker Face" are a sekrit message from Gaga, informing everyone that she has a penis.
Gaga recently appeared on Australian talk show Rove, where she was interviewed. Towards the conclusion of the interview, Gaga was asked the following question:
—Rove McManus | ||
The audience were expecting an answer along the lines of Prince Gaga, Mr. Gizzlega or some other faggotry. However Gaga simply responded with:
—Lady Gaga | ||
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COMPELLING EVIDENCE -
I told you she had a dick. -
Google knows what's up -
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Proof? -
Moar Pen0r -
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Lady GaGa's Disco Stick -
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An artist's interpretation. -
A close up photograph of the Lady's loverly vagoo.
Gaga's Beautiful Vagina
Surely, with all these vicious lies being spread about Gaga's gender, she's going to speak out about it sometime or another. SO offended, to the fact that the pussy actually made a FUCKING TWITTER ACCOUNT, to prove her existence. Srsly.
The REAL Gaga
Not even 5 layers of make-up can hide the ugly that is Gaga. She tries to distract her fans with hideous checkered outfits and sparking boobage in hopes that they will continue to fap to her manly and Auto-tuned voice. Even such failed attempts to pick wedgies to distract from the bubbling purple shit on her shoulders.
Lady Gaga desperately tries to find other ways for distraction, such as dressing up like Harry Potter. To her dismay, her attempts are futile so she quickly rushed to the darkest alley in Hollywood and promptly got a nose job.
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Lady Gaga (right) pictured with Tiffany.
Copycat
She also appears to have the habit of stealing from other artists... alive and dead. She's like the Carlos Mencia in the music industry.
—Róisin Murphy [2] | ||
—Yana Morgana [3] | ||
Strangely enough, there's no information readily available that explains the death of Lina Morgana other than that it was "tragic".
God Hates Gaga
Our buddies over at the Westboro Baptist Church have branched out their usual style of HATE FUCKING EVERYTHING to include Gaga. Released on December 28th, 2009, a faggot online magazine announced that WBC plan on picketing a show by the gay-friendly pop star.
—Shirley Phelps-Roper | ||
—WBC, actually having a good idea for once | ||
Fred Phelps Press Release
Thou hadst a whore's forehead, thou refusedst to be ashamed...Will He reserve His anger forever? Will he keep it to the end? Behold, thou hast spoken and done evil things as thou couldest Jer 3:3,5
"Art" and "fashion" are the euphemisms, the guise under which proud whore Lady Gaga teaches rebellion against God (incidentally, her claim to the title of "lady" is sound only if she tacks on "of the night," thereby alluding to another euphemism of what she is.) As much as she'd like to pretend otherwise, there's nothing new or different about this particular hussy's pretentious prancing. Does the simple slut truly think that she can change God's standards by seducing a generation of rebels into joining her in fist-raised, stiff-necked, hard-hearted rebellion against Him? Get real!
Even as she gives lip-service to "liberating" her young fans, Lady Gaga brings them into slavery to their own corruption, teaching them to glory in their shame. She hates you! "For when they speak great swelling words of vanity, they allure through the lusts of the flesh, through much wantonness...While they promise them liberty, they themselves are the servants of corruption!" 2 Pet. 2:18-19''
Lady Gaga AKA World Hunger
"According to an exhausting November 26th 2010 poll of the world, people most closely associate Lady Gaga with world hunger. This confirmed the popular sentiment and the fears of the 3rd world. At the same time there was a movement afoot to get Lady Gaga officially recognized as a synonym to hunger. On the morning of January 1st 2011 the directors of Webster dictionary had an emergency meeting to share in their nerd rage at the situation. But as time progressed the directors were pressured into making Lady Gaga a synonym of hunger in the english language on January 4th 2011. This of course led to gay unity riots in San Francisco, the only area with a dissenting opinion on the matter."
"Once the hungry huddled masses in Egypt found out they were being called “Lady Gaga’s bitches” they were fucking pissed. This directly led to the riots and eventual revolution of the whole Middle East. Of course the news doesn’t want that fact to get out so they blamed it on AIDS, dictators, and the North Koreans."
Got old
Lady Gaga ceased being relevant the second she turned 25. Makes you wonder, don't it, how much of the Gaga phenom was musical talent and artistry, and how much was simple biology. cf Kate Bush, who was playing the same gig way before Tori Amos and all the rest of them. (Anyone remember Regina Spektor? Thought not.)
Trolling Gagafags
As you can imagine, fans of Lady Gaga defend their pop princess with all the teen angst we all have come to expect from electro hipster faggots. The majority of these skull-fucked retards can be found at the Official Lady Gaga Forum.
Tips for trolling fans of Lady Gaga:
- Tell them she's a man, and post a picture of Line Trap as proof, insisting that it really is Gaga. [4]
- Tell them that Lily Allen is much more talented, and has a less annoying voice.
- Tell them Katy Perry has a better fashion sense.
- Tell them that Colby O'Donis was the only reason "Just Dance" got big.
- Tell them that Lady Gaga stole ideas from Emilie Autumn because Autumn refused to be a mainstream musician.
- Tell them to watch [5]for proof of her singing talent, which is none by the way
- Post a guide to creating every Lady Gaga song in under 20 minutes on Fruity Loops. Here is Just Dance.
- Remind them that Freddy Mercury died of AIDS, and that Gaga is next.
- Eric Cartman sings her songs better than she does.
- Troll the GaGa Wiki and keep editing the page to point out her lack of originality.
- Tell them that Koda Kumi is hotter and more talented than Lady Gaga. Say that Gaga copied her style and music from Kumi-chan.
Lady Gaga is also a useful tool for the seasoned internet debater, for example:
- Raid fashion forums, telling them that Gaga is the new Valentino.
- /mu/ loves Lady Gaga! Tell them all how much you love it too!
- Start a flame war on /b/ by offering compelling evidence that Gaga is a man.
- Play it from your car stereo and go out and randomly drive through the ghetto shooting gang affiliated niggers; dying to this music will be the worst insult one can perpetrate upon our colored friends.
The Gaga Fans Quotes
A good majority of Gagafags cannot speak, let alone type, any decent word of English. Seeing as the majority of these fans are crack fiends, niggers, sausage-eating Swedes, and 16 year old girls.
Here are just a few examples of your typical Gagafag:
Previous Quote | Next Quote
These quotes came from the depths of the official Lady Gaga forum and is about the Lady Gaga ED article
—trixiedarko | ||
Previous Quote | Next Quote
RAHRAH AH AH AH
Some happy person made a seizure-free website dedicated for RAH RAH OOLALA Faggotness. DAT MOTHERFUCKING LINK
- Note : Website is full of so much happiness, I might cry.
Notable Lady Gaga Fantards
Gaga singing a hit single
DeviantART user Miss Mosh was clocked by the Lulz-Police doing 160 in a 50 faggotry zone. On Mon Apr 27, 2009, 12:02 AM, she took some time off from being up her own arse and promoting her piece-of-shit website and posted the following blog on her deviantART page:
[[Expand]]
BEFORE YOU COMMENT - This is NOT some beauty contest, I'm not looking for and I don't want someone telling me who is prettier or who is uglier. My point ENTIRELY, is that my style is being deliberately ripped off. READ my entry entirely before you comment. I look like Lady Gaga? I'm so fucking tired of this. "I know I wear a lot of latex, and have lavender hair..." Platinum blonde hair and long blunt cut bangs was whatever. A coincidence that I wore that same hair last year, I didn't invent the look obviously, I would be a fool to ever think I made that look. One of my first, as Lady Gaga calls it, "lavender hair" appearances was done well over a year ago. In fact, I had a recent cover come out on Bizarre with the same purple tones in my hair. Those images in the magazine and cover were also shot over a year ago. There have probably been people before me who have created the same platinum blonde/purple toned hair. None of which I have ever seen. None of which people who are three times older than me have ever seen. Latex? Since when do you wear latex? Oh right, probably since somebody told you its the new thing. Its also probably a coincidence that a week before I left on my trip to the east coast I received a casting call for a new Lady Gaga music video, this call DID NOT come from any of my agencies. I'm disgusted and outraged to know that my look is being blatantly ripped off by a mainstream pop "artist", and the true creator of putting it all together won't get a dime or a credit. I would have at least a respect for her if she was a true unique artist, sadly, she couldn't even do that. She needed to take something from someone who had much less exposure than her. You may be mainstream but you will never be an original. That, in my mind, is the most pathetic thing to be. Don't fall for it. Support the original. I know some of you who like my images seem to also like Lady Gaga. That's fine, but don't ever make the claim that "I look like Lady Gaga". At this point, its one of the biggest [[ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER DO YOU SPEAK IT|disrespects]] to me. If you disagree to my statements above, just ignore it or leave. Oh yea. Join my site when it launches...shortly, http://www.themoshroom.com
The photos she is referring to can be viewed to your right as thumbnails. They are in the order which they appear on the blog
While her many 'fans' rushed to her aid to tell her that she was obviously being copied and was so much better looking than Gaga, people in touch with reality laughed many lulz at the absurdity of a whiny little bitch who thinks she's the next big thing. Even funnier still, all her fantards are saying that Gaga is ugly, yet she drew a similarity between them, does that mean she's ugly? The answer is pretty obvious.
Ok, so it may seem that she is rather critical of Lady Gaga, but fuck, this bitch seems to think that Gaga stole her look. Yeah, like she invented the whole "look like you've been raped upside down in leather tights" look. Its pretty obvious that this is an attention whore doing what she was made for, seeking attention.
Some argue that the fact that the EXIF data from her photos indicates that they were taken on the 27/04/2009 at 22:04:04, and the photos for The Fame were released in 2008 casts a shadow over the legitimacy of her claims.
In response its rather clear what you should do about this. Remember to mention that she looks EXACTLY like Lady Gaga!
A selection of Lulzy quotes from Miss Mosh:
—You look exactly like her, now who is pathetic again? | ||
—USI at its finest | ||
—So much USI | ||
A CHALLENGER APPEARS
Videos
Previous Video | Next Video
Gagallery
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So good. -
Bruno is raging hard over Gaga. -
Lady Gaga enjoys cocaine. -
Wario Parasite Hilton, Gaga's #1 fan.
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She isn't always hot. -
Proof that she likes the black person cock. -
Somebody watches too much Harry Potter. -
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Lady Gaga performing her hit single "I Kill Everything I Fuck." -
The original Lady Gaga; GG Allin, showing off her/his dance moves sHe honed as a Club Kid in New York's nightclub underground. -
Lady Gaga dresses like an ugly prostitute. -
Can't hide ugly. -
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Even black bikers enjoy some of that poker face -
If only it didn't have a dick -
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See Also
- Pop music
- Attention Whore
- Fugly
- Cocaine
- Trap
- /fa/
- Fag Hag
- Whore
- Latex
- Poker Face
- GG Allin
- Shemale Lady Gaga's species!!!!!
- Kesha
Resources
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Lady Gaga is part of a series on Visit the Music Portal for complete coverage. |
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Lady Gaga is part of a series on Visit the Whores Portal for complete coverage. |
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Lady Gaga is going to be fixed up later... So stay tuned! |
