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Mitch Mcconnell: Difference between revisions
imported>Lazygecko created Mitch McConnell page and I will edit in more content tomorrow |
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[[File:Mitchges.jpg|thumb|the senator in the flesh|thumb|right|The first Turtle Leader]] | [[File:Mitchges.jpg|thumb|the senator in the flesh|thumb|right|The first Turtle Leader]] | ||
'''Senator Green [[Powerword|hardshell]] Mitch''', also known as '''Terrapin of the Senate Floor''', '''Mitch claps or Snaps ''', '''Immortal Galapagos''', '''Mitch the Magic Turtle''' or ''' | '''Senator Green [[Powerword|hardshell]] Mitch''', also known as '''Terrapin of the Senate Floor''', '''Mitch claps or Snaps ''', '''Immortal Galapagos''', '''Mitch the Magic Turtle''' or '''Green Jesus''' is the Majority Leader of the [[America|United States of America]] Senate. He defeated his owner who bought him from Petco as a mere hatchling. He was neglected and moss covered at the time of his escape. He vowed from that point forward to run the country even further into the ground. In 2016, he was given an opportunity to lead the big party under [[Donald J. Trump]]. He has not answered questioning regarding his plan for pushing unsustainable environmental practices in order that humanity dies off in a virus or solar flare while him and his turtle people hide in their shells until it blows over. | ||
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Mitch was highly euphoric when discovering that Jeb Bush almost gave America a first Turtle president. Mitch himself would have done this but strict and lame Petco chain of supply mean Mitch could be an african turtle.This is nothing he fears as his fellow Turtle Jeb seemed to be one of the fastest of turtle speakers. | Mitch was highly euphoric when discovering that Jeb Bush almost gave America a first Turtle president. Mitch himself would have done this but strict and lame Petco chain of supply mean Mitch could be an african turtle.This is nothing he fears as his fellow Turtle Jeb seemed to be one of the fastest of turtle speakers. | ||
[[File:McconbrotherwAAEJNZ.jpg|thumb|it was hard for Mitch to get over the loss of his brother Jeb taking office for turtlekind, hence why Trump gave Speaker to Paul Ryan not Mitch for his Jeb sympathies|center|450px]] | [[File:McconbrotherwAAEJNZ.jpg|thumb|it was hard for Mitch to get over the loss of his brother Jeb taking office for turtlekind, hence why Trump gave Speaker to Paul Ryan not Mitch for his Jeb sympathies|center|450px]] | ||
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Revision as of 14:39, 28 February 2018
Senator Green hardshell Mitch, also known as Terrapin of the Senate Floor, Mitch claps or Snaps , Immortal Galapagos, Mitch the Magic Turtle or Green Jesus is the Majority Leader of the United States of America Senate. He defeated his owner who bought him from Petco as a mere hatchling. He was neglected and moss covered at the time of his escape. He vowed from that point forward to run the country even further into the ground. In 2016, he was given an opportunity to lead the big party under Donald J. Trump. He has not answered questioning regarding his plan for pushing unsustainable environmental practices in order that humanity dies off in a virus or solar flare while him and his turtle people hide in their shells until it blows over.
Mcconnell's Turtle food money source
According to the Center for Responsive Politics, McConnell has received over $1.5 million from the oil and gas industry since 2012. This has so far been spent on a gargantuan head of lettuce.
GOD DAMN SOFT SHELL LIBERAL FAGGOTS!!!
Hope of Turtle Presidency
Mitch was highly euphoric when discovering that Jeb Bush almost gave America a first Turtle president. Mitch himself would have done this but strict and lame Petco chain of supply mean Mitch could be an african turtle.This is nothing he fears as his fellow Turtle Jeb seemed to be one of the fastest of turtle speakers.
