Maja Schmidt

This article is shit and unfunny. It could benefit from a complete rewrite rather than being deleted.

	“	I'm a mystery. No really, I am. After 8 years, my boyfriend still has no clue what goes through my head. I have an exceptionally bad temper which I do a poor job at controlling should I feel the need to make it someone elses problem.	„
	—Maja

Don't make Maja mad, or she'll get the cops to arrest you for being the coward that she isn't.

Maja Schmidt, pronounced May I Shit? aka alvestein or dowanor, or Zoey – born Mai Schmidt on 5 April, 1982 – is an angry Norwegian Internets drama queen, big mouth, blogger, spam poster and troll, who is currently residing in Larvik, Norway. Since she's the only Maja Schmidt living in Norway, it would be wise to tarnish her reputable name.

She has a boyfriend called Marius who likes to pay tribute to the Alfred Hitchcock movie Psycho by trying to scare her while she's in the shower, while dressed up as his mother. She is currently in exile, having no power now that she sold her blog for peanuts. Maja also claims to have never used a pseudonym over the Internets.

Maja is addicted to caffeine, smack, cannabis, and cigarettes. Her favorite booze is white whine. She also shouldn't touch anything unless it is coated in bubble wrap or the AIDS virus. DO IT SLUT.

Her Annoying History

	“	I whine, rant, complain and yell. That's just me.	„
	—Maja

Maja and Marius were due to get married. They called off the wedding and broke up. This has made Marius keen for life.

Maja has been on the Internets a lot longer than you think. Maja used to own and maintain the domain Dowan.org, a blog powered by WordPress. In April 2008, she allegedly sold the blog to her friend, Malin. Yeah, and pigs might fly.

Maja once successfully sued an ex-boyfriend when he said that giraffes were the most boring zoo animals ever. Also around this time, Maja started hearing voices in her head because those kiddies gave her headaches, and she claims that the voices were her personal thoughts. No, this was not the morning broadcast of I-95.

About the only thing Maja will ever be famous for is her knack to post shit no one normal gives a damn about. She suffers from stupidity, but you don't have to worry, because it's not contagious.

Privately hosted and hack proof assured, Maja calls the shots. In *her* words, WordPress are not to be held responsible for what she has to say. Meaning that if Maja is moody, you must have done something to piss her off. Since she rules indisputably with an “Iron fist in a velvet glove”, it is her call to make, and you dare not get her worked up on a bad day.

Maja met other like-minded people who also got around to posting shit no one cares about. Thus creating one of those, what do you call it? Oh yeah! Groups.

Those Poor Children

I'm guessing the sight of children makes Maja feel dirty, because she has voluntarily signed herself up for sterilization. Again paying tribute, this time to the UK number one hit "Too Much Too Young" by The Specials. Further proof that the non-commercial culture is getting worst.

A Sight For Sore Eyes 2006-2009

Maja credits the Coca Cola Company with helping her become an overnight sucksess story. She has bought shares to the company, and is now the new co-owner with Roberto Goizueta. So I'm guessing it's those bastards at Cadbury who are to blame for this?

In May 2006, Maja started her biggest online feud yet against Gracie-boy after he discovered a snide remark about his "cyberbullying" threads. Gracie-boy (whose real name cannot be disclosed here, as it is not to be named) was a victim of the online harassment that was instigated by Maja's lesbian lover Vixx, who was quite upset when she discovered Gracie-boy was really a he-she.

To even the score (as well as to boost her already massive ego), Maja started using Dowan.org as a soapbox to run down Gracie-boy, unaware that he was into Google like bees are into honey. Ironically, Maja is as thick as mince. She's no real hacker, like Zero Cool. She's so thick-headed in fact, that she had to get someone to design the crappy template on Dowan.org for her, which is now gone. Sigh.

Naturally, Gracie-boy initially tried to get her to remove two shitty entries on Dowan.org to save face, since she was slandering him. Thus setting herself up for a well deserved "LOL INTERNET" moment, and further contradicting her own steps to sue Gracie-boy, and have her solicitor take legal action. But as predicted, Gracie-boy was met with no seriousness whatsoever in his quest to resolve things smoothly. This ruined the lulz, but paved way for the intended victim to become another an hero. Not that it happened, but oh well...

In reality, Maja was really just sticking her nose where it doesn't belong. Maja believes she has the God given right to badmouth other people on her blog, yet gets all hot and sweaty when people do it back to her. If she didn't want all this garbage posted about her, she should have simply deleted the two entries about Gracie-boy when asked, and that would have been the end of it.

Like most working class Norwegian citizens who get their daily caffeine fix courtesy of Schweppes, Maja is one of those people who are only happy when they are working nevar. Or in this case, poppin shit about others from behind a computer screen. Are you feeling horny yet?

Legal Drama 2007-2008

"Things Go Better with Coke"

	“	I'm gonna fucking sue. Oh yes I am!!!1	„
	—As said by Maja and just about every other EDiot.

After several months of whining and threatening to take legal action, Maja eventually got around to contacting a UK solicitor in Edinburgh to try and get Gracie-boy thrown in the slammer for the e-Harassment she brought upon herself. Since legal fees and killing trees proved to be expensive, she had one of her bloggers donate $10 to her PayPal in advance. The rest has to be leeched from Marius, just as soon as he realizes being self-employed has its highs and lows. Poor guy...

In February, Gracie-boy was the recipient of an undertaking, due to his retaliatory actions against Norway's resident busy body. Details of that remain sketchy. But if you're curious about all that, please relate to the postings on the Full Moon Underground forums for more information, provided you can be arsed to find the posts. The darn citation for the link to the page wasn't working, though.

Of course, the "proof" Maja case filed was rather one-sided, as she's always the angel no matter what annoyance she brings upon others. I mean, who honestly never saw that coming? There was a lot of "He done this...", and "He done that..." presented in libel form, but none of the "I (Maja) admit to posting the flame bait, and doing lots of beating the dead horse over and over again..." shit, or any justified confession that she played any big hand in helping this smelly BS to pile up from the very beginning.

As of March 2008, Maja is feeling severely butthurt and supposedly frightened of a guy she's only spoke to online, seeing as how she can't give Saunders a one way ticket to Bantown. This resorted in Scottish police resources being contacted, ONLY because she was spammed, challenged, and subsequently pwned at her own game. Talk about bitchy.

Lately, she seems to think that by deleting her MySpace profile (and certain other profiles), that she is now safer on the Internets. But why eliminate the attention when she created the attention? Make sense? Nope!

After finding her ED page through referrals, Maja sent one of her minions to ED to bitch and cry that someone was going against non-existent rules. Obviously she sent someone else to ED because she's playing the innocent victim, and is trying to pretend (rather unconvincingly, one might add) that she played no part in causing this shit to happen, when certain people reading this page know otherwise. Examples of this include flaming people for half a year, exchanging abusive emails with her target, and then trying to give him/her the cold shoulder, as if she's just gotten over something major in her life - which is contradictory, considering she opted to post about it.

Oh, if you wondered, she has enabled a contact form on her blog. But most of the shit you send her just gets bounced back to your inbox. Her real email address is [email protected] and not the [email protected] shit she has on her site. Don't want spammed, hon? Don't advertise your address for all to see.

But will Maja ever admit to having these problems? Will men land on Mars? And lastly, will Tony the Tiger ever find his stripes?

	“	I hate everyone equally	„
	—Maja trying to be unique and edgy

Also see Pekka-Eric Auvinen

Lolsuit

	“	Please stop reverting my edits. You have Grace Saunders to tamper with, you know. Also, yes, Maja is Snaisybelle. Don't quote me on that one.	„
	—KnowingLay.

It would appear that Schmidt has a lawyer (see also: bullshit) and has some qualm with Encyclopedia Dramatica. Who could have seen that coming?

Lol at it here and here then watch the bottom of User talk:OldDirtyBtard to see the drama unfold.

OH NOES Epoque has just declared he is filing the suit and the administrators of ED will receive a court summons shortly. View the post at the end of ODB's talk page here. What he fails to understand is that the so-called "private urls" are not private in the slightest, they are viewable by the public, and we simply link to them. We are also allowed to use the picture of Maja as it was posted publicly and can be used for critique and comment under fair use.

The Dollar Stretcher

"Got Dowan.org on sale stranger"

OMG. Could it be? After 5 years of crying her guts out, flaming, stalking, bitching, and boasting, Maja is auctioning up Dowan.org to the highest bidder so she can finally move on with her e-life. Type Dowan.org on Google, or look at the list of links on here. Sounds too good to be true, right?

I'd imagine her new blog wouldn't be that hard to find, since she won't be able to keep her trap shut for more than 10 seconds. But one must keep this in mind: When you have nothing important to talk about, you put out the beware stuff.

You know? Like Maja Schmidt.

O.O

False Claims

She currently goes by the name Zoey and runs Day Dream Graphics. She runs it along with a council of losers such as Chris/Epoque & Erik. She literally stole the website from Torre who took over it from its original owner Snow White in August of 2008. She still is the coward bitch she has always been, notice the name change, and will never change because what she thinks is always right. Yeah, OK. Why not head over to Day Dream Graphics and give her a little bit more hassle? Sounds good to me.

Now that Cadbury's are being bought over, Maja will be so butthurt about it, that she'll shit Freddo Frogs for a year, and then some. But that's okay, because she runs rivers of verbal diarrhea anyway.[1]

Editing ED

Spring 2009 saw Maja briefly return from obscurity to edit her own ED article in order to plug her new site. Now known as Zoey, Maja proceeded to register a handle on ED and edit this very page, revealing her new name and everything, despite her claims that she never uses any aliases online. The odds of it being one of her "friends" is somewhat unlikely.

It seems she doesn't want herself to stay hidden. This just proves, once and for all, how much of an attention whore she really is. Had she not tried to edit war with the OP here, no one would have been any wiser as to her current whereabouts. But as it stands, some people just can't help drawing attention to themselves. It's like, when someone gives them a little bit of attention, they want more of it.

Maja has since purged all of her loyal members on Day Dream Graphics and maintains she did it by accident. What a way to make your members feel welcome. See the drama unfold here.[2]

Her Handles

Maja, Maja Schmidt, Zoey, The Ranter, dowanor, crankynu, alvestein, lykke1982, i.am.cranky

Yes, you'll find that Maja never posts under anything but her "own" name.[/sarcasm]

Legacy

Maja is one of only two EDiots who have the unique distinction of having their names brought up in two different attack articles. The other half is her arch rival, Gracie-boy. These articles have provided buckets of lulz for both ED and the online world alike. If ED did Academy Awards, these two would be probably be killing each other, to see who gets top prize.

And it is rewarded for the following...

• Worst Blogger
• Asshattery
• Epic fail
• Serious Business
• Asking for it
• Buttsex

Moar Material

• Dowan.org Maja allegedly sold it to some whore she knows.
• New Blog Aparently belongs to Uffe from Denmark.
• Her LiveJournal - Where she rants some more.
• Her deviantART - Maja, trying her hand at Picasso.
• Her Amateur Illustrator Where she lists http://klagesang.no as her site.
• Silent Hill Heaven Her friend's spam-ridden forum, where she also posts.
• MySpace - She has since deleted her account.
• At dead-teddybears.com It's no longer active.
• The 'sevices' she offers She offers buttsex?
• Her profile @ Codegrrl.com Forums Run by her idiot friend, Vixx.
• Her amazon.com wishlist Maja, trading goods for smack.
• Her eBay My World: lykke1982 Maja has closed this eBay account.
• Her Blogspot - Full of blah blah blah. Literally.
• TL;DR Another site of hers. It's in Norwegian, though.

Moar material is always welcome. So feel free to add $um lulz without pissing off security bot in the process.

Gallery Exhibit

• 
  Maja clearly <3 animal porn.
• 
  More of her low quality art.
• 
  She looks even worse in person.